Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!
by The Great Chicken Miasma
Summary: [COMPLETED!] The story of Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga retold...But this time, EVERYONE'S A POKéMON! Chaos ensues, beans are eaten, and other stuff happens! Rated for cursing, death, sexual themes, and pure insanity in later chapters! R&R!
1. The Beginning of the End of the Beginnin

_**Authoress' Notes:** Here's da ding! I retyped it, so now it's more detailed and fun! YAY!

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_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 1:** The Beginning of the End of the Beginning!

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There were fireworks over the Shroomish Kingdom making it all sparkly and pretty! Yay for the blue sky!

Peach then appeared and bellowed, "SHUT UP!! I'M IN DENIAL!!!!!!!"

"You are?" Shroomish #1 asked!

Sitting down, Peach looked around! And she might've seen a clown! Until she asked, "Now what?"

"Um, some lady is here to, uh, um... I dunno..." Shroomish #2 trailed off, somehow scratching his head!

Upon her introduction, the Goodwill Ambassador entered. "I wish to do good! Here is Pandora's box!!! DON'T OPEN IT!!!!!!!!!!" she warned, showing a strange looking box to everyone.

Shroomish #3 sweatdropped. "Come again?"

"MY NAME IS-A PEACH-A!!!!!!" the princess shouted randomly.

Everyone else made a face and sweatdropped as Peach went up to her throne to sit down...again!

"Gimme my present!" she screamed.

The assistant walked up to Peach to hand her the box thingy!

Opening the freaky box, Peach suddenly started to say, "What the...?!" but the freaky-ass box made some weird sound effects, like "GRRRRR!"

"What kind of box says 'GRRRRRR!'?" Shroomish #4 asked Shroomish #3, who shrugged.

**"PANDORA'S BOX DOES!!! EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!!"** the Goodwill Ambassador shouted, turning into Cackletta, the evil Umbreon lady!

Soon after the assistant turned into Fawful, the evil Aipom/monkey thingy! "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!!" he repeated, taking out Peach's vocal cords!

Peach coughed and choked, but soon stopped because she was such a ditz!

Shroomish #1 added to the chaos! "Ewwwwwwwwwwww!"

Fawful sweatdropped as he realized his mistake! "Oops!"

"Oh, well! That's good enough!" Cackletta said, stuffing dynamite down Peach's throat. "WE'RE OFF!!!!!!!!" She and Fawful then flew away into her face, which was in the sky!

"I think that's bad..." Shroomish #4 said, restating the obvious!

"I wish I could do that..." Shroomish #2 whispered to no one in paticular!

At Pikario and Chuigi's house, the heroes were being their stupid, yet funny selves...yay for them!

Chuigi looked around and frowned up. "Why am I even out here? The only kind of clothing we wear is our cool Italian hats!"

Shroomish #3 just happened to run up shouting,** "EMERGENCY!!!!! EMERGENCY!!!! CHUIGI IS TRYING TO STREAK!!!!!!!"**

Slapping his forehead, Chuigi replied, "No, I'm not!!!"

Running into the house, Shroomish #3 called, "MARIOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

"WHAT?! WHO'S THAT?!?!" came the reply!

"Whatever..." Shroomish#3 wondered, walking into bathroom. "I need to pee!"

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Pikario threw soap at Shroomish #3!

Dodging the soap, Shroomish #3 asked, "What the hell is going on in...?" He suddenly stopped! "My God!"

Lo and behold, on the toilet with Playboy magazines, sat Pikario!

"It's not what you think!" he tried to cover up!

Shroomish #3 couldn't take it anymore, so he ran away yelling, "THE WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!!"

Chuigi, who was playing with a rope, shrugged. "Eh..."

Running away, Shroomish #3: added, "OH, YEAH! AND PRINCESS PEACH'S VOICE IS GONE, TOO!!!!"

Chuigi, who was playing with a rope, shrugged. "Eh..."

Pikario suddenly slammed the front door open and jumped onto Chuigi yelling, **"PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..."**

"What the hell?!" Chuigi was confused!

Pikario ran after Shroomish #3, tangled in Chuigi's rope, screaming, **" ...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..."**

Chuigi was dragged! "My rope!"

At the castle, Peach was crying and Bowser was there, and, uh, that's really BAD!

"Wow! I'm so fat and heavy," he stated! "I can shake stuff like this!" He bounced up and down, shaking stuff!

The Shroomishes all went, "Eeeeeeeeeek!"

So, Bowser went, "Gwa ha ha ha!"

Just then, Pikario busted in and threw off the rope, still yelling, **"...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

Bowser was confused! "Huh? Each? Each what?! Each as in 'I will kill each and every one of you'?"

Chuigi was his rope! "My rope!"

The rope somehow decided to fall on Bowser!

Bowser, still confused and now angry, turned around, "WHO DARES TO ABHORRENCE ME?!"

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Uh..."

Being the smart one, Shroomish #1 got out a dictionary! "I think that means to hate..." he said, flipping through the pages.

Bowser scratched his head! "Oh, really? I've been trying to use big, bad, and scary words in my vocabulary because rumor has it that if you say big, bad, and scary words, then you will become big, bad, and scary! Gwah!"

Chuigi suddenly grabbed the rope!

Bowser saw him and shouted, "HEY, YOU! PUT THAT BACK!!!"

"NEVER!!" he retaliated, hiding behind Pikario.

"I WILL LAMENT YOU!!!!!!!" Bowser shouted!

_Battle Mode Start! The star Thingy flew into the screen! Whee!_

"I'm too fat and slow to go first!" Bowser admitted!

So, Pikario jumped on Bowser!

"OW!" Bowser barked, dying!

_Battle Mode Completed! And now, Pikario can continue on with whatever the hell he was doing!_

Pikario sweatdropped and Chuigi said absolutely nothing!

Bowser got out a dictionary! "I am breathing my last breath, giving up the ghost, kicking the bucket, departing this life, expiring, passing on, passing away, going to meet my maker, my life has ended, fallen apart, gone down..."

"WE GET THE IDEA!" Pikario shouted.

"I'M NOT FINISHED!" Bowser called back, continuning! "...packed up, stopped working, conking out, giving up, pushing up daisies..."

Shroomish #2 ran up the star of the game/fic/show! "Pikario! Something bad has happened!"

"I know! Peach has lost her voice!"

"Peach has lost her... DAMN IT!" Shroomish #2 cussed!

Peach suddenly interjected with "?:)&#$&$#!#$#$#)(&#!$#($#&($$&(&$$##&($& $#$&()&!!!!!!!!!!"

Pikario cluthed his fist! "I must find the bitch who did this!"

Shroomish #4 questioned. "How'd you know who did this?!"

Pikario just stared at him! Was the culprit really a dog?!

Suddenly, Bowser woke up and started reading from the dictionary again! "I shall... formulate haste! I am... incapable of embezzling the princess, so I shall... employ the use of my Koopa Cruiser to acquire Peach and... eradicate you all! Gwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!!" he said, as he flipped through the pages!

In the Plaza, Pikario was almost ready to go to a new place to find Peach's voice!

Shroomish #3 suddenly came up to him. "I don't know what you can do in here besides gawk and laugh at the horrible topiary..."

"I thought you were still at my house!" Pikario shouted.

"Well, now I'M NOT! Are you happy?!" the third Shroomish asked in annoyance!

So, Pikario walked around and gawked and laughed at the horrible topiary!

Then, he came upon Shroomish #2, who had a problem! "Ah! My poor Mushroom!" he pointed out!

Taking the Mushroom, Pikario mooned Shroomish #2! "It's mine now!"

"No fair!" Then Shroomish #2 started to cry!

"Wimp!" Pikario called back, as he ran away!

"Why am I here?!" a random Koopa Troopa asked no one!

"Because you're lost!" Pikario answered.

"Really? Oh, then who am I looking for?"

Pikario didn't feel like answering that question, so he blurted out, "Uranus!"

The Koopa Troopa was happy! "Great! Where is it!"

"Uh... Thatta Way?" Pikario pointed in a random direction!

So, the Koopa Troopa went in a random direction!

Pikario then saw his little brother, Chuigi!

For some strange reason, Chuigi decided to bounce, so he did! And the sound effects said, HACK! KOFF! And Chuigi was confused, while Pikario sweatdropped!

"That's some cold you got there..." he stated.

"Ghsijfheirhgoseoiwre!" Chuigi said! A picture of Bowser appeared over his head!

Pikario cocked an eyebrow! "What the hell was that?"

Exasperated, Chuigi tried to explain. "I don't know! It's just in the script! Theiurhdoirewahjw!" A picture of Bowser's butt appeared on his head!

Pikario raised another eyebrow! "...You're...gay...?"

Chuigi frowned up. "NO!!!!!!!!!"

"I hate this!" the Pikachu concluded!

"Damn it, Boswer's just up ahead!" Chuigi FINALLY said!

Well, why didn't you just say so?! Pikario went ahead and Chuigi followed!

As Pikario walked in, he saw a Save Box! "A floating book... How nice and original..."

"It's a Save Box. You have to save your game on it." Chuigi informed him.

Ignoring Chuigi, he starts to leave!

Then, Shroomsworth ran up. "MASTER MARIO!"

"Damn it! Why is everyone calling me Mario?!" Pikario groaned!

"Here!" Shroomsworth handed him a suitcase! "This suitcase is possessed, so you can use to make zombies!"

"Cool!" So, Pikario took the weird suitcase!

"And here is... a bag of stuff..." Shroomsworth added.

"Thanks...?" Pikario took the bag of stuff because he was a packrat!

Shroomsworth then turned to Chuigi! "Luigi! Are you going with Master Mario?!"

Disgruntled, Pikario pulled on his ears! "FOR THE LAST TIME, THAT'S NOT MY NAME!"

Chuigi shook his head vigorously! "Hell, no! I'm staying here to look at his Playboy... POP-UP books! Pop-up books! Yeah!" He then smiled, very stupidly!

Shroomsworth sweatdropped! "Uh..."

During the confusion, Pikario went to the ship! "This is stupid!"

Bowser saw the Mouse and called out to him! "MARIO!"

Pissed off even more, Pikario shook his fist. "WHAT?!"

Bowser, with his dictionary, read "Where have you existed?! You are belatedly tardy!"

Chuigi rubbed his stomach and licked his lips! "Mmm, Pop Tarts!"

"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser laughed evilly! "I exchanged my laugh to this because I like KA-PEE- TALL letters!"

Boaring the ship, Pikario waved to Chuigi! "Bye, little brother! Leave my stuff alone!"

Making a cheesy grin, Chuigi waved back! "LEAVE ALREADY!"

"I shall currently entitle my wrongdoers!" Bowser proudly stated, for no reason! "BOWSER BADDIES!"

The Koopa Troopa looked around. "Where the heck is everyone?"

Just then, a squad of Koopa Troopas and Goombas came in!

The leadSquirtle, Koopa Troopa #1 sweatdropped! "Sorry we're so late! We all had hangovers!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP AND GET ON BOARD!" Bowser bellowed, jumping up and down.

The first Koopa Troopa confronted the lead! "Hey! I was here first, so I'M #1!"

"No, you're #0!" Koopa Troopa #1 told him!

The first Koopa Troopa begged to differ! "That's not a number!"

"YES, IT IS!!!!!!!!!" Koopa Troopa #1 said, rightfully!

Seeing a fight about to break out, Bowser stopped the two! "You're forgetting that I'M the #1 of out..." He paused to look in his dictionary! "...each and every one of you organisms! Gwah!"

"YES, SIR!!! We shall begin boarding!" Koopa Troopa #1 commanded! Almost instantly, all the baddies charged towards the ship, running over Chuigi in the process!

"HEY! Get away from me!" Chuigi unleashed his Thunderbolt attack shocking everyone and they went, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Unfortunately, since Chuigi was a Pichu, he shocked himself! "Damn it! I forgot about that!" he scolded himself!

After the boarding was done, Koopa Troopa #2 went to Bowser! "Your Nastiness, we have completed in boarding the Koopa Cruiser!"

Bowser was shocked! "What?! How dare you call me nasty?! I shower at least once every month!"

Pikario made a face and covered his nose! " Eww..."

"SHUT UP!" Bowser commanded!

"Unfortunately, we have one deserter!" Koopa Troopa #2 added.

**"WELL, GET YOUR REARS IN GEAR AND CATCH 'EM ALREADY, DAMN IT!"** Bowser responed, still pissed off for some reason!

Down below, Chuigi ran away, all the while shouting, "In case you haven't noticed, I need to go home and sexually endorse myself!"

Hearing Chuigi, Bowser stood near the edge of the ship and shook his fist! "That's very nasty language for someone your age, and once I get you onto this ship, you WILL have a bar of soap in your mouth!"

Koopa Troopa #3 reported to Bowser! "Sir! That Pichu is much too fast for our speedy, yet clunky piece of crap!" This pissed the King off AGAIN!

"For saying that, you have earned a ticket to hell! Go below deck and wait for me to execute you!" Bowser threatened!

"Damn it!" So, Koopa Troopa #3 left to die!

"Koopa Troopa #1, you have been demoted to Koopa Troopa #3!" Bowser demanded.

"What?! WHY?!" Koopa Troopa #1 questioned, making Bowser lose his patience!

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!" was Bowser's reply!

The first Koopa Troopa was victorious! "HAH! So, now I'M #1!" So he became Koopa Troopa #1, as Koopa Troopa #1 became Koopa Troopa #3!

"Bowser! We have captured the Pichu!" Koopa Troopa #4 reported.

"Good!" Bowser was finally happy about something! Taking out his dictionary again, he turned to Pikario! "Go join your... idiotic sibling and... transport him... up to this point for further instructions and... uh... STUFF!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Going below deck, Pikario shook his head. "What I wouldn't do for a Playboy magazine right now..."

**(TO BE CONTINUED!)**

**And the moral of this chapter is:** _Paper Mario pwnz and there's nothing you can do about it! HA!

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**Authoress' Notes:** BAH! I have nothing to say! R&R!


	2. The Nonchalant Journey to Hoogivezahkrap...

_**Authoress' Notes:** Not much to say except that my computer's working so I can update this. Yay. Now, the story!

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**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga! _**

_**Chapter 2:** The Nonchalant Journey to Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom!

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The scene opened with Pikario walking over to Chuigi!

"Get up and come upstairs with me..." Pikario mumbled!

"Need... **NAKED WOMEN!"** Chuigi replied, madly!

Sweatdropping, Pikario dragged Chuigi away and into the Next Corridor!

"Do you have any idea where you are going?" the now-awake Chuigi asked!

Pikario shook his head! "No, but at this point, it doesn't even matter..."

All of a sudden, Koopa Troopa #2 ran up to them!

**"HEY! YOU TWO!"** he shouted.

Pikario whipped his head around in annoyance. "What!"

"Where are your passports?" Koopa Troopa #2 asked, holding out his hand!

"Passports?" Chuigi questioned with a puzzled look!

Pikario smiled! "We don't have them because our suitcase is possessed."

Koopa Troopa #2 made a face "Possessed!"

Pikario nodded, as if it were no big deal! "Yep."

Sweatdropping, Koopa Troopa #2 continued to hold out his hand. "Well, you still need to take a picture!" This made Pikario mad.

"Damn it! Didn't you just hear what I said!" the red Pikachu shouted.

Ignoring Pikario, Koopa Troopa #2 turned to Chuigi. "Mr. Green, you go first!"

Chuigi shrugged. "Ok..."

Pikario crossed his arms in annoyance. "This is STUPID!"

Koopa Troopa #2 held up his camera. "Don't do anything dumb!"

Just then, Chuigi peed on the floor!

Koopa Troopa #2's Camera went FLASH!

Pikario made a face!

Koopa Troopa #2 frowned! "THAT WAS NASTY!"

Chuigi sweatdropped! "I should've aimed for the camera!"

Koopa Troopa #2 turned to Pikario. "Mario, your turn!"

Pikario slapped his forehead! "You could've just said 'Mr. Red'!"

"That makes you sound like a thug!" Koopa Troopa #2 replied!

"I'd rather be a thug than a dirty, old plumber..." he retorted.

Koopa Troopa #2 shook his head. "Whatever. Don't do something dumb!"

Pikario suddenly got REALLY fat!

Koopa Troopa #2's Camera went FLASH...**AGAIN!**

Chuigi started laughing his little yellow ass off!

Koopa Troopa #2 sweatdropped and looked at his camera! "What the hell was that!"

Pikario smiled! "I've got gas!" he admitted, farting!

Chuigi stopped laughing and started gagging at the awful smell of his brother's ass!

Koopa Troopa #2 sneered! **"JUST TAKE YOUR PICTURES AND GO!"** he bellowed!

Pikario took the pictures and left, with Chuigi behind him!

In the Box Area, they were!

Koopa Troopa #1 looked around! "I'm so bored, I think I'll become captain!" And so, he becomes Captain Koopa!

Pikario walked up and made a face!

Captain Koopa saw the two and cracked up! "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I thought you were Koopa Troopa #3?" Chuigi asked, scratching his head.

"No, he's dead." Captain Koopa bluntly said.

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Ok..."

Captain Koopa changed the subject! "So, uh, thanks for helping me become Captain!"

"You're welcome?" Pikario wondered.

"Here ya go!" Captain Koopa gave Chuigi a GameCube! **_WITH SUPER SMASH BROS. MELEE IN IT!_**

"COOL BEANS!" Chuigi was obviously very happy!

Captain Koopa saluted!** "BWAHAHAHA! IT'S NICE TO BE NICE!"**

In the Cargo Hold, Pikario & Chuigi somehow appeared!

Koopa Troopa #4 saw them, but he paid no heed. "We need assistance!" he informed everyone in the room.

Koopa Troopa #2 decided to ignore Koopa Troopa #4 because he felt like it! "Uh...has anyone seen the other Koopa Troopa #3?" he asked, looking around.

"Oh, he's dead!" Koopa Troopa #4 replied with a smile, as if it wasn't a big deal and it probably wasn't!

Koopa Troopa #3, the former Koopa Troopa #1 sweatdropped and slowly backed away from everyone else!

"What a funeral..." Pikario sarcastically remarked, scratching his head.

Chuigi suddenly got mad and kicked the wall! "This bites!"

Just then, the Pinch Crane... uh... grabbed Chuigi because it could!

"HEY!" Chuigi remarked as he was carried away.

Pikario sweatdropped. "I SWEAR! Can't you ever stay in the same spot!"

Koopa Trropa #3 then appeared beside him. "Apparently not..." he answered the rhetorical question.

Pikario got mad and killed him with a crowbar!

Koopa Troopa #3 decided to die, but he went to heaven, so he was in a better place!

The other Koopa Troopas went, "Uh..."

Let's go to the Main Deck because Bowser's there! YAY!

Bowser looked around and frowned. "Man, it got dark fast!" Getting out his dictionary, he looked up the appropriate word! "I am now in obscurity!" he read.

Chuigi flew by on the Pinch Crane! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he told Bowser!

Bowser noticed and pointed! "Hey! No playing on the equipment! And where's your soap!"

"Dunno..." Pikario admitted, appearing randomly.

"Eeyah heh heh heh heh heh!" someone laughed!

"Huh?" Chuigi whipped around to the laugh!

"What the fuck!" Bowser cussed! He then got his dictionary! "That had to be the most horrible evil bad guy laugh I have ever had the misfortune to hear!"

Cackletta, the evil Umbreon lady flew up in her chair, then spun around! "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! I have **GAME BOYS!"** she shouted.

Fawful then flew up on his headgear! "And I just beat Super Mario Sunshine!"

Pikario was surprised! **"GASP!"**

Chuigi was surprised! **"GASP!"**

Bowser was surprised, but he had a dictionary! **"INTAKE OF BREATH!"**

Cackletta spun around in her chair again, then flew away, laughing! "Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Fawful, instead, landed on the ship. "I have chicken wings!" he declared!

_Battle Mode Start! The star thingy flew into the screen again! YAY!_

Chuigi was scared of the star thingy's closeness to him! **"OH NO!"** he stated!

Just then, Fawful realized something! "I have too much mustard! Here, **TAKE SOME!"** he threw some mustard at Chuigi!

Chuigi put it on a sandwich. "Thank you!"

**"HaVe YoU tHe rEaDiNeEsS FoR ThIs!"** Fawful screeched, then exploded!

Pikario suddenly got sad. "I didn't get to jump..."

_Battle Mode Complete! Now, the aftermath!_

Fawful shrugged. "Ah, well!" Getting back on his headgear, he blew up the ship, but not before remarking, "Watch me defeat Gannondorf in some random Zelda game!" Then he flew away.

Bowser got the dictionary again! "The petite failure is parting! And my deprived Koopa Cruiser is, as well!" he wailed.

And so, the ship crashes and everybody dies...**THE END!**

Chuigi popped up! "I...I... **SURVIVED!"**

Pikario popped up beside him. "Me, too! But I'm the star of the show/fic/game, so I'm supposed to!"

"You filthy bastard!" Chuigi accused!

They go to the Border House thing, only to see Hammer Bro. #1, who said, "Look, Hammer Bro. #2, it's Mario and Luigi!"

Pikario threw himself into a wall. **"I'M NOT MARIO!" **he barked.

Hammer Bro. #2 smiled. "Play jump rope with us!"

For some reason, Chuigi liked this! "Ok!" He played some rope!

Pikario cocked an eyebrow. "You are such a wuss!" he then proceeded to drag Chuigi away.

Hammer Bro. #1 stopped skipping rope. "Yay! You win!" he cheered.

Hammer Bro. #2 was happy, too! "You get...A MAP!" he added.

Chuigi scratched his head. "Yay?"

Snatching the map from Hammer Bro., Pikario stomped away. "This sucks on ice!"

Now, with Bowser, he was stuck in a random cannon!

"I can't see my dictionary!" Bowser told anyone who cared.

Pikario jumped on Bowse, pissing him off!

"OW!" The cannon turned around and Bowser popped out. "What the hell was that for!"

"To make up for when I didn't jump on Fawful!" Pikario said.

Bowser looked in his dictionary. "I loathe you!"

Then, Tolstar appears! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Nyeck nyeck!" he chuckled. "Lookit da dope stuck in muh cannon!"

Bowser frowned, then looked in the dictionary again. "You have impaired speech!"

"No, I don't! I just like talking slang!" Tolstar retorted.

"Whatever!" Bowser said.

"We need to get Bowser's fat ass out of the cannon!" Chuigi pointed out randomly!

"I can do it, but only if you pay me 8,975,730,824,839,578,620,937,580,697.41!" Tolstar held out his hand!

Pikario kicked a random rock! "Crap! That's all our money!"

"Like sucks! Get used to it!" Tolstar nagged.

Chuigi gave him the money! UH OH!

Tolstar laughed. "Nyeck! Thanks a lot! You've made me 8,975,730,824,839,578,620,937,580,697.41 richer! Now, die!"

_Battle Mode Start! There goes the star thingy again! HUZZAH!_

Chuigi just noticed something! "Weren't we supposed to learn Bros. Attacks!"

Then, the Authoress appeared! "Yeah, but I didn't feel like writing it, so here!" She simply gave them their Bros. Powers, then left to commit the heinous crime of writing stories!

"Uh..." Pikario mused.

Tolstar diverted his attention! "I'm really fat and slow, but I'm going to go first whether you like or not!" He then promptly exploded.

Pikario & Chuigi just looked at each other in confusion!

_Battle Mode Complete! That was easy!_

Tolstar groaned in pain**. "NYEEEEEEEEEECK! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT!"**

Bowser sneered! "HAH! So, NOW, who's the dope!"

"YOU, dope!" Tolstar somehow blew up the cannon!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Bowser was blown away and Tolstar disappeared!

"Well, that was weird!" Chuigi said.

Pikario smacked him against the head, three stooges style, for being too direct!

So, they went through the cave and got out! But some Random Guard Ivysaur confronted them when they did!

"**WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH PRINCE PEASLEY!"** he demanded.

Pikario twitched his ears. "Who?"

Random Guard #2 came up. "Peasley, damn it!"

Chuigi took out a magazine from under his hat. "Sorry! All's I got is some dirty magazines!"

Random Guard #3 appeared on the scene and said, "Yuck!"

Random Guard #1 shook his head. "Either way, we can't let you go!"

Tolstar fell from the sky! "Let them pass! For they are the great, almighty plumbers, Mario and Luigi!" he said, sounding like a zombie!

Pikario punched the closest thing next to him (Random Guard #3)! **"I'M NOT MARIO!"**

Random Guard #1 went wide eyed! "Tolstar!"

"I'm dead now, so you have to listen to me!" Tolstar commanded, suddenly disappearing!

Chuigi whispered to Pikario. "Let's get out of here before something else happens!"

Pikario whispered back. "Good idea!"

So, they ran away! At Uh-Oh Village, Pikario was surprised at something!

"Oh my gawd! The town has been taken over by cactuses!" he pointed out.

A Cacnea, also a random Uh-Oh Village Inhabitant, walked up. "You mean CACTI?" he corrected.

The talking cactus scared Pikario & Chuigi and they went, 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' Then they ran until they saw Fawful!

Fawful was happy! "Whee!" he held up the glorious up Game Boy Advance! "I just beat Pokémon Pinball!"

Pikario pointed his finger again! "Hey, you can't beat that game! It's eternal!"

"WHAT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Fawful was mad, so he ran into a wall, causing an avalanche!

"Oh, crap! Those rocks are in our way!" Chuigi realized.

Fawful shook the fist on his tail! "This is what happens to people who disrespect Pokémon!" Afterwards, he flew away on his headgear, in an evil like way!

Back in Uh-Oh Village, an Uh-Oh Village Inhabitant said, "The bridge is broke!"

Pikario looked at the busted bridge and frowned. "Broke, my ass!"

Chuigi responded very well! "Ok!" he broke Pikario's ass!

Pikario flinched! "OW! WHY, YOU LITTLE..."

"Oops!" Chuigi ran in a hut and Pikario chased!

Upon their arrival, Sledge stood up! "What the fuck!" he cussed. "No visitors!"

Hammer added! "Yeah! We're trying to make a Hammer with substitute rocks!"

A Geodude floated up from the Hammer-making table! "Since when am I a substitute rock!" It then somehow ran away!

Hammer slammed his bone on the table! "Damn it!"

Pikario stopped chasing as he was struck with an idea! "Hey! We need Hammers to break a rock!"

Sledge asked, "Really? Well, then we need an Uh-Oh Block!"

"An...Uh-Oh Block?" Pikario wondered.

Chuigi finally stopped running. "Why do you call it that?"

Hammer decided to explain. "Since it looks like a wad of crap, when you step on it, the first words that should come out of mouth other than 'Oh, shit!' would be 'Uh-oh!'"

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Forget I even asked..."

"Eh, so are gonna get us one from the Mountain or what!" Hammer pestered.

Pikario rubbed his sore his ass. "Whatever..."

On Uh-Oh Mountain the 2 brothers were!

Chuigi saw a tornado!

Pikario spun into it!

Chuigi got mad! "Hey, you can't do that without me!"

Pikario continued on without Chuigi. "I don't need you because my name is more important than yours is!"

"Notice that this show/fic/game is call "Pikario & CHUIGI!" Chuigi shouted.

Pikario kept on walking. "And your point?"

"Fine, then!" Chuigi then somehow skipped all the way to Hoohooros and it can't be explained how!

"HEY!" Pikario called.

Chuigi stuck his tongue out! "Nyah nyah!"

"Okay, okay!" Giving in, Pikario followed Chuigi.

Chuigi grinned!

Pikario sweatdroped!

Hoohooros appeared! "If you two are done making stupid faces, then you shall perform a challenge for me!"

Pikario rolled his eyes.

"Catch these spirit things and don't fall!" Hoohooros instructed.

Chuigi jumped up! "Hey, those spirit things look a lot like basketballs!"

"JUST DO IT!" Pikario added, as a cliché!

As Pikario & Chuigi catch the spirit things, the Globetrotters' theme plays and the Bros. do stupidly interesting basketball tricks and get the spirit things into randomly placed nets!

Hoohooros twitched! "That was so stupid that I will fight you now!"

_Battle Mode Start! STAR THINGY! YAHOO!_

Chuigi started things off by throwing a spirit thing at Hoohooros, who said, "OW!", then Pikario jumped on Hoohooros, making him say something else!

"That didn't hurt, but I quit because this is so lame!" Hoohooros exploded!

_Battle Mode Completed! They beat a Nosepass, who is a compass!_

Hoohooros stomped towards the brothers. "YOU GAVE ME AN OWIE!" He then used hisMagnet Pull ability and throws the Bros. up to the Mountain's top, even though he's only allowed to do that with Steel types!

Chuigi was enjoying flying! "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Pikario shook his head, clearly irate. "This is just not my day!"

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_**Authoress's Notes:** I've done it again! Anyway, 10 Reviews this time! Can you do it! Oh, yeah, and like I said before, if you're lost on who's who, just go to my bio and find Mario the Great Wobbuffet! She's got the goods._


	3. Attack of the Stupid Pokémon!

_**Authoress' Notes:** Well, well, well, it's chapter 3. Let us all do a little jug... jig... Now, on with the story! _

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 3:** Attack of the Stupid Pokémon!_

Pikario looked around. "So... where's Blablahblahnandon?"

Chuigi chuckled at the really weird name! This made Pikario mad, so Chuigi pointed at a random Aerodactyl!

"I think that's him on that rock over there..."

Blablahblahnandon didn't hear anything because he was too busy sleeping!

This made Pikario even more mad! "Damn it! He's asleep!" Enraged, he kicked a rock!

Blablahblahnandon suddenly woke up! "What the fucking hell do you think you're doing?!" he barked.

"Gettin' toe up!!" Pikario responded randomly, so randomly in fact, not even Chuigi knew what he meant!

"Huh?"

Blablahblahnandon responded positively! "This shitload of an egg is my dawg!"

Chuigi was confused! "WHAT?!"

"I have to use a fucking bad word every sentence!" Blablahblahnandon informed the Pichu.

"Why?" Chuigi asked.

Blablahblahnandon got mad again. "Because it's fucking cool, damn it!"

"SHITLOAD!" Pikario shouted!

"BITCHIN'!" Blablahblahnandon added!

Chuigi shrugged. "Am I missing something?"

Just then, the rock Blablahblahnandon was sitting on was an egg, so it liked, hatched!

Blablahblahnandon said, 'Holy shit!' and got off the egg just as Dragoho-oh came out, mad because he was a Salamence with a weird name, and Salamences don't have weird names!

**"GRAHH! CURSING IS PROHIBITED!"** he roared.

Blablahblahnandon was amazed!"Holy shit! That shitload of an egg sure is bitchin'!"

Cursing also made Dragoho-oh mad! "GRR!" He blew Blablahblahnandon away, causing him to fly into a wall!

"CRAP! SHIT!" he cursed.

Dragoho-oh turned to Pikario! "And you! I heard you, too!"

"Oh, shit!" Pikario cussed!

_Battle Mode Start! Star thingy, we love you!_

An Uh-Oh Block fell off the mountain!

Dragoho-oh wagged his tail! "I don't know what that was!" he adimitted.

"Quick!" Pikario shouted."We must use the bad words to kill him!"

Chuigi sighed. "Do I have to?"

"You can use your pornographic magazines!" Pikario suggested.

Chuigi got a magazine from under his hat! "Cool!"

Dragoho-oh saw this and wailed. "PLEASE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he pleded.

"Go to hell, you bitching shitload of crap!" Pikario said.

Dragoho-oh roared in pain!

"Damn you, fucker!" Pikario was winning the fight.

Chuigi showed his pornographic magazines with much glee!

"OH NO!!!!" Dragoho-oh exploded!

_Battle Mode Complete! Cussing pwnz!_

Dragoho-oh then turned into Prince Peasley, a much more huggable Bulbasaur!

"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he laughed.

Chuigi went, 'Gasp!'

Pikario continued to cuss. "Who the fuck is that?!"

Blablahblahnandon then appeared again. "This Bulbasuar is none other than...PRINCE PEASLEY!"

"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Peasley repeated. "I'm cute!" For some reason or other, he stood on his hind legs and flicked his left claw back behind his head like he had hair, which he didn't, making everything FLASH and SHINE!

Pikario's eyes went wide, not affected by the light, as Chuigi groaned and complained about his.

"My eyes!" he bawled, squinting.

"Praise your mustaches!" Peasley continued.

Chuigi was now confused!

Pikario slammed his fist into a rock, turning it into a Game Boy! **"I'M NOT MARIO!!!!!!"**

Peasley waved his clawed finger around. "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I KNOW!! Cackletta and Fawful are evil!"

Pikario made a face. "No duh!"

"Of course!" On a random impulse, Peasley decided to squirt Sweet Scent into Chuigi's face, making him smell like Kirby!

"HEY!" Chuigi sputtered, ashe coughed out pink good-smelling stuff, caught off guard.

Peasley smiled. "You reek of me! Now, go to the castle!"

Just then, his trusty steed, a Bean Pillow Thing appeared and Peasley got on.

"FAREWELL!" he called out, as he flew away.

Then, Blablahblahnandon broke the 4 second silence. "Well, shit! Let's go back to the fucking ass town!"

At Uh-Oh Village, Chuigi said something!

"YAY! I smell good!"

"Uh..." Pikario slowly backed away.

Sledge suddenly appeared. "Pikario! Chuigi!"

"WHAT?!" Pikario was mad for no reason.

Sledge whacked Pikario with a Hammer, the one he was giving him!

"OW!" Pikario rightfully said.

Sledge smiled and proudly said. "NOW your ass is broken!"

"DAMN IT!" Pikario decided to rampage!

"Now get downhill!" Hammer spat, suddenly appearing and pushing the Bros. off the cliff.

Downhill, Pikario broke the rock with his Hammer as Chuigi cheered.

"YAY!"

Pikario was in a bad mood, so he said, **"SHUT THE HELL UP!"**

And Chuigi obeyed him.

Pikario then saw a flaming rock.

The Flaming Rock said, **"WHOOSH!"**

Chuigi then did a verb, seeing a well!

The Well said, **"TA-DA!"**

"WE NEED SOME WATER!" Chuigi concluded.

As if on cue, Pikario pushed Chuigi into the well.

Chuigi sucked up the water, then spat it out!

"WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!" Pikario frowned.

Chuigi frowned back! "Because you're the fat one!" So he pushed Pikario into the well!

Pikario spat water on the flaming rock, who said, 'AHHHHHH!', then exploded!

Pikario said nothing and Chuigi said nothing!

At the Cave Place, Pikario encountered another Bulbasaur, but he was old!

Pikario looked at the old Bulbasaur, while Chuigi looked at his shotgun.

The Old Bulbasaur got mad. "WHAT?!"

Pikario got mad. "WHAT?!"

"Ride my carts!" the Old Bulbasaur coughed.

"OK!" Pikario agreed.

Pikario& Chuigi got to ride in the carts!

The Carts went, 'Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'

Pikario & Chuigi went, 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

They crashed!

Pikario& Chuigi then went, 'Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!'

The Old Bulbasaur somehow appeared and went, 'Hooooooooooooooo!' Then, he like, threw them out of his cave!

At the Trail's End, Pikario was confused!

"What the hell was that?!" he asked no one who listened.

Chuigi tugged on Pikario. "We need to run!!!"

So, they ran away to prevent the non-existant rain from making everything wet!

Hammer then called after them. "Hey! Wait up!"

"Oh no!" Chuigi groaned.

Sledge also also appeared."We forgot to teach you how to use your Hammers so you can fight trees!" he said.

Pikario frowned."WHAT?!"

_Battle Mode Start! Star thingy is awesome to joo!_

Chuigi cocked his head to the side and frowned!"I thought you were the good guys!"

"We are, but we need to show you something!" Sledge said, getting ready to tutor the 2 Bros. of Mousiness! But before he could, Pikario decided to jump on Hammer since they were in Battle Mode.

"OW!" Hammer responded, rubbing his skull with his Bone Club.

Pikario felt very dominant! "Ha!"

Sledge got mad. "Damn you two!" He then took Chuigi's Hammer to further emphasize his anger!

Chuigi didn't take very likely to this, so he whined. "HEY!"

Ignoring Chuigi, Sledge continued tutoring! "To block, push the A button!"

Chuigi got mad AGAIN! **"WHAT?!"**

Pikario saw and saw this and thought, 'What the heck?' So, he took out his GBA and pushed the W button!

Sledge frowned. "What the fuck?! There's no such thing as a W button!" he pointed his Bone Club at Pikario.

Pikario smiled crazily. "There is now! Mwahahahahahahaha!" For a second time, he pushed the W button!

Hammer sweatdropped. "To strike your opponent, push...uh..."

Chuigi, liking his brother's idea to be strange, pushed the Y2K button! And even though it was clearly near the end of the year 2004, Pikario said, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Hammer slapped his forehead. "NO!!"

Chuigi then pushed the SSBM button in some crazy way or another!

Sledge got annyoed at all the button-pushing. "STOP!" he commanded.

Suddenly, the adorable, sweet, cute, pink, good-smelling, and very awesome Kirby appeared and promptly ate Sledge!

Hammer saw this and shook his head in anger. "Just forget it!"

_Battle Mode Complete! Kirby is so cool! And PINK!_

"You'll learn the hard way!" Hammer lectured, running away.

Kirby then smiled, not spitting up Sledge, and ran away! Then, he like, went and killed the Verizon Wireless man and got back his cell phone, free of charge! Then he called up his friends and they all had a rave like nevah B4! I mean, 'never before!' ..._POYO!_

Chuigi disregarded the nonsense that Kirby committed. "YAY! We gained a lot of stats!"

Pikario hit him with his Hammer. "Shut up!"

At the City, things were strange, unkempt, distorted, on fire, and it was not a very good place to be at the time! It reminded Pikario of Cappy Town from Kirby's TV show!

Chuigi was shocked! "Oh, crap! It's in ruins!"

"No, shit!" Pikario shook his head, coming out of a 2 second trance.

Just then, an Ivysaur City Inhabitant was seen crawling on the ground! "Help... raining... fire... death... GAH!" he gurgled, before fainting.

"It must be the MATRIX!" Chuigi bellowed, even though he had only seen the Animatrix!

Since the Matrix is very scary and confusing, Pikario & Chuigi ran away!

At the Castle, Pikario & Chuigi saw Random Ivysaur Guard #1!

"Halt!" the Ivysaur commanded, stopping Pikario & Chuigi with his Vine Whip. "Who goes there?"

"Me and my stinky brother!" Pikario said, pointing to himself and Chuigi, who smelled like Kirby.

Random Guard #2 sniffed Chuigi. "OH MY! The Sweet Scent of the Prince!"

Pikario rubbed the back of his head and sweatdropped. "Uh..."

"IN WITH THE SMELL!" Random Guard #1 commanded himself, pushing Pikario& Chuigi inside.

IN the Castle, Chuigi decided to read the script because there was supposed to be more than one reference to Kirby 7 seconds ago!

"Why is 'IN' in capital letters?" he pointed out.

Pikario laughed. "'IN' is in!"

"I've fallen and I can't get up!" a Random Bulbasaur Assistant called out.

Pikario shrugged. "So?"

The Assistant sweatdropped, expecting more help than that!

Just then, an Umbreon in a yellow cloak ran up! "It's-a me, Lady Luna!" she informed Pikario.

Pikario made a face. "Oh!"

Lady Luna twitched her ears. "Speak up! WHAT?!"

Chuigi twitched his ears. "What the fuck?!"

Lady Luna put her ears down and frowned. "HUMPH! Our bathroom is very dirty and needs cleaning!" She then threw Pikario & Chuigi down a pipe. "Fix them pipes!"

Pikario ate a plunger! **"I'M NOT MARIO!!!"**

Chuigi went blue in the face and looked around in fear! "The sewers are filled with bisexuals!" he feared!

Then, the Bisexuals appeared, with NINTENDO DSs! "HAW HAW!" they barked.

Pikario & Chuigi were scared, so ran thourgh the walls and quickly got to the last chamber!

Lady Luna then laughed like, 'Eeyah heh heh heh heh!' and disappeared!

For no apparent reason, Pikario used Chuigi as a plunger!

Chuigi didn't like this, so he said, "EWW!"

Pikario stood victorious over nothing. "The pipes are fixed! Beat that, Luigi!"

Chuigi frowned. "What the fuck?!"

A gate opened and Lady Luna stepped out!

"FREEDOM!" she exclaimed.

"What the fuck?!" Chuigi pointed.

Pikario also pointed. "It's THE REAL Lady Luna!"

Chuigi scratched his head. "Why is 'THE REAL' in big letters?!"

Lady Luna bounced up and down."The WhatStar!"

Another Random Assistant Bulbasaur appeared. "Get the WhatStar!" he chimed in.

Chuigi was confused! "The What?!"

Pikario was mad! "The Star!!!"

Kirby was cute! "HI!!!"

"It's KiRbY!!!" Lady Luna concluded, saying her line wrong!

Kirby ran away to pick up some chicks!

"That DID NOT make any sense!" Pikario said, also reading his line wrong!

Chuigi looked at the script again! "Why is 'DID NOT' in big words?!"

Lady Luna continued. "The WhAtStAr!"

Pikario & Chuigi ran upstairs to go get the WhatStar becuase they knew that it was already too late, even though they had some false hope, it'd be stupid not to try and the game would end and Nintendo would go out of business and Mario would go insnae and kill everybody in the world and that's not good, except for the 2 or 3,000 people in the universe who want to die and, in that case, it'd be just what they wanted, so Mario wouldn't kill them and Luigi would be left to stare into space like always!

Lady Luna, the other one, turned into Cackletta! "Eeyah heh heh heh heh!"

Fawful held up his GBA! "Yee haw! I beat Metroid Fusion!"

Cackletta smirked. "Nevermind! I beat Mario!"

Pikario heard this and hit the Assistant Bulbasaur with his Hammer. **"I'M NOT MARIO!!!** Do I look like him?!"

"You're wearing his hat!" Cackletta stated the obvious.

Pikario twisted his hat around then did it again! "So?!"

Fawful was mad, so he decided to eat a sandwich to calm his nerves of nervousness!

Cackletta saw this scene was going nowhere, so she called Queen Where to make it go some...where!

Queen Where fell from the roof and uttered, **"JIODMSKFOHJREWIUHGFIFTZXLDMKVLNMCGVIODFPU!!!!!!!"**

Pikario said, "..."

Chuigi pointed at the evil possesed Venusaur! "What the fuck?!"

"I shall now proceed with beating the crap out of Mrs. Aron!" Cackletta said, confusing everybody!

"ARAN!" Fawful corrected. "And Samus ISN'T married!"

Cackletta sweatdropped. "Oh yeah!"

So, they left!

Chuigi looked at the script again! "Why is 'ISN'T' in big letters?!"

Pikario swaetdropped. "Well, isn't this just a fine piece of shit we've gotten ourselves into?!"

_**Authoress' Notes:**That was fun! And weird! And mentally disturbing... I'll be working on some other fics today as well as Mario the Great Wobbuffet! Kudos to her! Look for her first fic, **"Mistakes Were Made"** in the Kirby section! And it's rated 'R'!_


	4. The Riduclously Short Whyhola Cola Saga!

_**Authoress' Notes:** I might as well update this fic, then work the others sometime later today! Now, on with the story!_

_

* * *

_

**_Pikario and Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_ **

_**Chapter 4:**__ The Ridiculously Short Whyhola Cola Saga!_

_

* * *

_

The Stupid Narrator appeared out of nowhere! "When we last left our heroes, they were facing a gigantic **SHUNK!"**

Queen Where sweatdropped. "Excuse me?"

Pikario looked away. "Nevermind him..."

**_Battle Mode Start!_**

Queen Where smiled. "Oh, okay then!" Just then, she decided to use Earthquake, which is not an attack for Venusaurs to learn! **OH NO!**

**"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" **Chuigi got hit and fainted!

Pikario was outraged and pissed off at the same time! **"OH NO! MY LITTLE BROTHER!"**

Queen Where, for no appearent reason, spit out a Bulbasaur, then ate it! Thank god it wasn't Peasley! **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

Pikario was stunned! "Eww..."

Queen Where wanted to roar, so she did! **"DHNSFDJSKFJKSMDSCMSD!"**

"We can beat her if we team up, Chuigi!" Pikario shouted, eating Chuigi! And don't ask how!

Chuigi was all swirly-eyed inside Pikario's stomach!

Using teh force, Pikario ran up to the Queen! "DIE, SCUM!" he demanded, barely touching Queen Where's nose!

And Queen Where exploded! Again, don't ask how!

Pikario was happy... for once! "HOORAY!" He spit out Chuigi. "WE DID IT!"

Chuigi wiped the drool off his head. "Chicken fucker..."

**_Battle Mode Completed!_**

Lady Luna ran up and started crying! "Oh dear! Her height-ness is thirsty!"

Pikario shrugged. "So?'!"

Lady Luna stopped crying and frowned. "She needs a drink!"

Pikario shrugged again. "Well, get her a frickin' Yoo-hoo!"

Lady Luna groaned in annoyance. **"SHE NEEDS THE WHYHOLA COLA!"**

"Then, where is it?'!" Pikario asked.

"IN Whyhola Woods!" LadyLuna said, doing that "IN" thing again!

Chuigi asked. "Why is...?"

Pikario slapped him in the back of the head. "ZIP IT!" He turned back to Lady Luna. "Fine! Let's-a go!"

Chuigi sighed. "That's my line!"

Pikario frowned. "No, it isn't! It's...um...Luigi's, I think..."

Chuigi sighed again. "But that's-a me!"

Pikario frowned again! "No, you're-a Pichu!"

Chuigi was starting to get pissed off now. "That's-a not true!"

It took him a while, but Pikario finally figured out what the hell was happening! The voices, the strange accents, the familiar sounds... "Oh no! We're-a startin' to sound-a like-a them now-a!" he concluded, meaning Mario and Luigi!

Chuigi pulled his ears down! "Mamma mia!"

Lady Luna slapped Pikario. "Shut up and go to the damn forest!"

Pikario slapped her back! "SHUT-A UP!"

Lady Luna was so totally pissed now, so she kicked Pikario and Chuigi out!

Pikario, landing on his belly got up and cursed. "Damn it! We are not Italian!"

Chuigi started hopping up and down! "Hey, Pikario! Ricordisi che di quando la I ha detto ero impaurito della gente di gay? Bene, nient'altro! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Ma mi non chieda perchè..." (1)

Pikario ignored his little brother! "We need-a help-a!" Seeing the StarWho Café, he walked towards it! "Let's-a try there!"

Chuigi shrugged. "Sicuro, perchè non? Significo, il professor E. Gadd sarà là orinare noi fuori con i suoi fantasmi maledetti ed i loro sacchetti di merda che denominano il caffè, ma che cosa l'inferno?" (2)

In the Café, the two looked around!

Pikario perked his ears up. "'ello?" he called, sounding **_WAY_** too much like Mario!

Chuigi decided to pop in again! "Rivelerò un segreto che accadrà un momento più successivamente nel gioco: MI TRANSFORMERÒ IN In un PIKACHU! **MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** (3)

Hearing someone laughing maniacally, the manager popped up. "Yo! Whaddya want?"

Pikario slammed his fist down on the table! **"CAFFINE!"**

"-a!" Chuigi added, trying to make it sound Italian!

The manager made their super-sweet special Gotahell Blend. "That'll be -48,793,754,864,730,958 coins!"

Pikario slammed his fist on the table again! "Damn it, I'm a broken old plumber! I don't have that kind of money!" So, he took the Blend and drank it!

The manager got mad! "Hey!"

Just then, a ghost from Luigi's (Not Chuigi's!) Mansion appeared and said, "Boo BLAH!"

Pikario, being afraid of ghosts went, "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" and hid under a table!

Chuigi scoffed. "Ghosts don't scare me; lesbians do!"

Then, E. Gadd came in! "Well, that sucks!" he exclaimed, sucking up the ghost with the Poltergeist 3000!

Chuigi was pissed! "Mai vi ho detto che cosa lo spaventa? Bene, ci sono lotti delle cose! Le lesbiche, la gente di gay, bisexuals, omosessuali, omosessuali di gay... la lista va senza sosta, ma chi si preoccupa che cosa dico? Non potete capirli!"

E. Gadd sweatdropped! "Oh my! It seems that you have been diagnosed with Sicily Sickness!"

Pikario was confused! "Uh..."

The manager pointed at Chuigi. "Hey, boss! These guys are real dopes!"

For some random reason, E. Gadd whacked Pikario and Chuigi with the Poltergeist 3000!

Chuigi fell on the floor! "OW! Hey, I'm cursed! I mean, cured!"

Pikario, imitating Mario in almost every way possible, shouted, **_"WHAA HAA!"_**

Chuigi, imitating Luigi in almost every way possible, shouted, **_"YO HO!"_** Then he added, "HOE! AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!"

The manager looked on in confusion. "..."

E. Gadd smirked. "You guys are crazy!"

"Now what?" Chuigi pondered.

Pikario mused. "Uh..."

"I don't know, but take this!" E. Gadd blurted out, giving them the Bonus Ring!

Chuigi's eyes widened in shock AND horror! **_"SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"_**

The theme to "Sonic the Hedgehog" played in the background! Pikario and Chuigi got scared!

"Crap!" Pikario shouted, running to the Chateau!

At the Chateau, Chuigi deduced something!

"We need the drink!"

"No duh!" his brother sighed.

They walked into the Barrel Room, which was full of Whyhola Cola!

Chuigi's mouth dropped open! "Awesome! Booze everywhere!" So, he got drunk!

Pikario punched the wall. "Crap! I wanted to do that!"

Chuigi laughed drunkenly. "Ha ha!" Then he got lost in the barrel maze thingy!

"Damn it!" Pikario cursed, getting lost in the barrel maze! "Chuigi, where the hell are you?'!"

Somewhere in the maze, Chuigi snorted. "I think I'm over here!"

Pikario frowned. "What the fuck?'!"

"Damn it, Rookie!" an unknown voice shouted. "Why do you always have to get lost looking for that godforsaken dictionary of yours?'! I swear, you're going to be the death of me! The great Popple has work to do, too, you know!"

Pikario ran out of the barrel maze! "Who was that?'!"

Then, a Meowth ran out, looking terrified! **"GAH! A PIKACHU! DON'T SHOCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"** With that, he ran into the next room!

In all the confusion, Chuigi came through the wall, still drunk! Pikario ran to the next room!

The Meowth (Popple, no duh) got scared again! "Oh, crap! **IT'S THE PIKACHU!"**

Just then, Rookie appeared with the dictionary! "Boss, chief, manager, superior, I found my dictionary!"

"Hey, ain't that Bowser?" Chuigi slurred, still drunk!

Pikario got mad! "Bowser, you dope! You're on our side! ...Well, not really..."

Looking in his dictionary, Rookie scoffed! "BAH! Such nonsense! I am Rookie, a juvenile, but with my father, I shall become the greatest ever! **GWAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

Popple slapped the charm on his forehead in anger. **"I'M NOT YOUR DAD! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE GONE OVER THAT?'!"**

**_Battle Mode Start!_**

"Why are you fighting us?'!" Pikario demanded!

Popple grinned madly! "Because you know my secret!"

Pikario sweatdropped. "WHAT secret?"

**"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME, LITTLE MAN!" **Popple bellowed, bouncing around!

"Huh?" Pikario scratched his head!

STILL drunk, Chuigi, twirled around in circles! "Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Popple leapt forward! "YAHHHHHHHHHH!" He took Pikario's Hammer!

"Hey!" Pikario jumped on Popple's head, causing him to accidentally use Pay Day! **OOPS!**

Seeing his coins scatter and, um, stuff, Popple freaked. **"OW! MY MONEY! WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" **And he ran away!

Chuigi giggled stupidly!

Rookie was angered! **"GASP! FATHER! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!" **He threw Pikario's abandoned Hammer at him!

Chuigi caught the Hammer! "Ooh, pretty!" he observed, throwing it at Rookie!

Rookie howled in pain as the Hammer landed on his precious foot! **"OW! MY FOOT! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYY!"** He also ran away!

**_Battle Mode Complete!_**

Pikario looked around. "That was... interesting..."

Chuigi, finally sober, went wide-eyed. **"WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO ME?'!"**

"This is unfair! Let's go, Rookie!" Popple shouted!

Rookie smiled. "Right behind you, Dad!"

Sweatdropping, Popple ran off, with Rookie, Pikario and Chuigi following!

Now they're in Whyhola Woods! **YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

Pikario got all 3 Bean Things because the authoress is tired!

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Wow!"

Pikario looked at Whyroot. "Now let us pass!"

"NO!" Whyroot barked.

Pikario groaned!"WHY?'!"

Whyroot sat up and boasted."First, you must fight the awesome Wiggler!"

Then Wiggler appeared, and he was pissed! **"GRR!"**

Chuigi thought Wiggler looked pretty yummy, so he ate him!

Pikario sweatdropped and looked on in confusion!

Whyroot cocked an eyebrow and moved aside, revealing a secret cave!"Ok, you can pass, I guess..."

Just then, Popple and Rookie popped out from the bushes!

Popple danced around in circles."Yeah! All right! We're in!"

They run past Whyroot and into the underground cave!

Pikariostomped the ground!"Crap!"

"I knew something about that was too easy..." Chuigi chimed in.

In the Cave Place, Pikario and Chuigi saw a Minun talking to a soda and Popple and Rookie were tied up and hanging for the ceiling!

"Look," Pikario shouted. "it's our long lost brother!"

Chuigi shurugged. No way in hell was he related to a Minun!

Bubbles smirked and spoke to the soda! "Why did the chicken NOT cross the road?"

"Gah!" Popple intruded. "Enough with the jokes already! They're CRAP!"

The soda said. "..."

Not hearing a response, Bubbles finished! **"BECAUSE IT WAS FOWLED! HAHAHAHAHA!"**

Rookie sweatdropped. "Please kill me..."

The soda awakened! "That joke sucked on ice!" it gurgled in a rage!

Bubbles: Wait! I got more!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Then the soda turnedintothe Chuckolator! **UH OHHHHHHHHHHH!**

Bubbles' ears shot straight up!"Holy crap!"

Pikario got mad."Hey, you can't say that! It's copyrighted by me!"

"TAKE COVER!" And with that, Bubblesjumped through a hole in the floor!

The Chucklator growled!"GRRRR!"So, for no reason, he blew away Popple and Rookie,then usedhis sword to slice the floor open, then turned back into a soda!

"Ah, I feel better now!" the soda hummed!

Everybody fell through the floor!

"**AHHHHHHHHHH!" **they went!

In the Underground Cave Place!

**"AHHHHHHHH-"** Pikario's screaming was cut off, as he landed in Soda's Barrel!

He knew this was the end, so the soda lamented!" Good bye, cruel world! I am now being absorbed into a Pikachu's belly, never to see the light of day again! I never even got to write a will to my wife, Florinda, and my 3 kids, Wendy, Larry, Roy, I LOVE YOU!"

Chuigi continued falling as well! "**AHHHHHHHH- OW!** Oh my god! Pikario must be being raped by that soda!" he realized, falling on the ground! He jumped off the ledge and near the barrel. **"I'M COMING, BIG BRO!"**

Pikario, who was in the barrel, said nothing because... well, just because! End of story! Well, almost...

Chuigi grimaced. "Oh no! I'm too late! Ah, well, free water ride!" So Chuigi knocked the barrel into water and got on, floating out of the cave!

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Heh, I was originally going to keep it a secret what Chuigi says in Italian, but I changed my mind!_

_(1)"Hey, Pikario! Remember when I said I was afraid of gay people? Well, no more! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! But don't ask me why..."_

_(2)"Sure, why not? I mean, Professor E. Gadd will be there to piss us off with his damn ghosts and their bags of shit they call coffee, but what the hell?"_

_(3)"I will reveal a secret that will happen sometime later in the game: I WILL BECOME A PIKACHU! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

_(4)"Have I ever told you what scares me? Well, there are lots of things! Lesbians, gay people, bisexuals, homosexuals, gay homosexuals... the list goes on and on, but who cares what I say? You can't understand me!"_

_Hey, what else can I say, but be on the lookout for Chapter 12! Toodles!_


	5. School Isn't Cool, IT'S EVIL!

_**Authoress' Notes:** Okay, I have some free time (not really), so I'm rewriting these Chapters today! **TRY AND STOP ME!

* * *

**_

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 5:** School Isn't Cool; IT'S EVIL!

* * *

_

_Chuigi is riding along on the barrel in the water, completely lost!_

"Damn it! I'm lost! Oh, well. I can always eat Pikario if I start to starve and then, I can eat the fish, seaweed, clams, shells..." Chuigi mused!

_He suddenly bumped into the castle, breaking the barrel and releasing a bloated Pikario!_

Chuigi hit his head and kicked the castle! "Ow! Stupid castle! I was going to make a life-long story on how I get lost in the ocean and eat my stupid brother to survive and stuff! It could've been a spin-off of _'Gilligan's Island!_'"

Random Guard #1 said something! "Oh, my god! It's the green guy!"

Random Guard #2 frowned! "And his fat brother! Hey, wait a minute, did you get fatter?"

Pikario sat up and looked at himself! "What? It's that stupid soda with all of its calories and carbohydrates!"

Chuigi frowned! "That's not a word!"

_Pikario sat on Chuigi for no apparent reason!_

Chuigi got mad! **_"GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF-A ME!"_**

Pikario stuck his tongue out! "Not until you admit that carbohydrates is a word!"

Random Guard #1 sweatdropped. "Uh, maybe you'd better see Queen Where about this..."

* * *

_In the Queen Where's Room!_

Queen Where looked at Lady Luna. "I spy, with my little eye... **_SOMETHING VERY BLACK!"_**

Lady Luna rolled her eyes. "Me?"

The Queen was surprised!**_ "HOW DID YOU KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW?"_**

Luna changed the subject. "Uh, aren't you supposed to be unconscious?"

The Queen was surprised again! "**UNCONSCIOUS?** How come?"

Lady Luna sighed. "Nevermind..."

Pikario frowned. "So, you're saying that we went on that journey for nothing?"

Queen Where smiled! "'fraid so!"

Chuigi threw his arms up in anger. "And now, Pikario's fat! What should we do?"

Queen Where suddenly stepped on Pikario and drank the juice that was inside his gut! "Yum! With Pikachu spit!"

Chuigi looked in his magazine! "Wow! That's almost how the women do it!"

Everybody else made a face! Then, Peasley came in and flashed!

"Ah, how I love to do that!" he sighed!

_Pikario was confused!_

_Chuigi looked around, then he farted for no apparent reason!_

_Pikario made a face!_

Peasley boasted. "I know, I AM the greatest after all! And to prove it, I've found Cackletta's hideout!"

Queen Where was surprised! "Really? **_WHERE?"_**

"Behind your chair!" Peasley pointed behind Queen Where's chair and Cackletta came out! What the hell?

Cackletta frowned. "Damn it! I thought I had gotten away with it all! How could you have found me out?"

Peasley took out his sword! "Don't ask questions, you fiend! Now perish!"

Cackletta smirked. "This was my last resort, but so is it! **WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Then, she like, disappeared and stuff!

Then, the Bulbasaur Assistant ran in! "**QUEEN WHERE! QUEEN WHERE!** Our sources have detected Cackletta going to... **THE PLACE..."**

Queen Where looked horrified! "Oh no... not... **THE PLACE!"**

"Fear not! I will follow her to... **THE PLACE!"** Peasley left on his bean pillow thing!

Pikario got mad! "What the fuck is going on?"

"What's **'THE PLACE'**?" Chuigi asked.

Lady Luna spoke quietly. "It is... Why What Wheniversity..."

Pikario cocked an eyebrow. "And..."

Lady Luna waved her arms around! **"IT'S A SCHOOL!"**

Pikario & Chuigi pulled on their ears! **"THE HORROR!"**

"Well, we wish you luck on your journey, so get the heck out of here!" Lady Luna threw them all the way to Why What Wheniverstiy!

* * *

_At Why What Wheniversity!_

Chuigi looked around! "I'm scared!"

Pikario looked horny! "Me, too... but if I ever want to see Peach again and get feisty with her... then we have to go in!"

Chuigi said nothing as they went inside!

* * *

_In Why What Wheniversity!_

Scientist Ivysaurs ran all over the place! **"RUN! IT'S 1ST PERIOD ALGEBRA! AHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Chuigi shivered. "Scary..."

"There's one Ivysaur on the floor..." Pikario noticed.

Scientist choked and gagged! "C-c-cackletta is t-t-teaching... **WORLD HISTORY AND LATIN!"** Then, he died!

Chuigi looked at Pikario in horror! "How will we EVER survive?"

_Then, Cackletta and Fawful appeared with books! Well, that can't be good!_

"Emc2 to the 2nd power!" Cackletta barked!

Fawful took out a book! "And Latin is a DEAD language! Why are we still teaching it?"

Pikario & Chuigi were all like, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Cackletta was all like, "EEYAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

**_Battle Mode Start!_**

Cackletta said,"Look! I can cause chaos and black holes and stuff!" So, she did!

Pikario & Chuigi went,"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

Cackletta laughed, but noticed something! **"EEYAH HEH EH HE HE HEH! WAIT! I SPELLED THAT WRONG!"**

_While Cackletta is spelling words wrong, Chuigi kicked her in the nose!_

"ACK! OW! OOF!" Cackletta exploded!

**_Battle Mode Complete! Yay! School is dead!_**

Chuigi flipped Fawful off! "I passed Latin!"

Fawful sweatdropped! "Well, uh oh! That ain't good!" He sucked up Cackletta in hisheadgear thingy! "Yum! Tastes like SCIENCE!"

Cackletta growled. "Why, you sorry, no-good sons of..."

Just then, Peasley jumped in through a window and poked Cackletta and Fawful with **_A STICK!_**

Peasley looked at his stick! "This must be a super STICK because the words are so big!"

Cackletta and Fawful then were all like, **'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'**, then they flew away somehow!

Peasley turned to the Bros. "Now where's the WhatStar?"

Pikario & Chuigi sweatdropped. "Uh... oops?"

_The WhatStar is seen falling out of the sky and down to the basement!_

Chuigi smacked his head! "Aw, crap! Not again!"

"The WhatStar is downstairs! Go get it!" Peasley demanded, flying away!

* * *

_And so, the Bros. went downstairs and see Popple and Bowser with the WhatStar!_

Rookie shook his fist. "Blast you words that tell us what we're doing! My name is Rookie!"

Popple pointed at Pikario! "Not again! You will never get the WhatStar! NEVER!"

"Actually, since I can't find my dictionary again, you can have it!" Rookie gave Pikario the WhatStar!

Pikario took the WhatStar! "Awesome!"

Popple kicked Rookie! "What the hell are you doing? That's mine!" He wrote his name on the WhatStar! "**SEE?"**

"But it's not in ink!" Rookie informed him!

"Tartar sauce!" Popple cursed.

_**Battle Mode Start! Tartar Sauce is EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!**_

**_"NOW_** why are you fighting us?" Pikario demanded.

"Because you took away my ability to write! **_DIE!"_** Popple bumped into Chuigi!

Chuigi got mad! "Hey, that's not nice! If you want to shuffle, join the dance line!"

Popple pointed at Rookie! "This so-called dance line is not here! See?" He poked Rookie!

"Dad, we have to use Bros. Power!" Rookie said.

Popple got mad! "My mom is not your mom, damn it!"

Rookie rephrased himself! "Then, we shall use **HALF BROS. ATTACK!"**

Popple grinned. **"YAY!"**

_Rookie set Popple on fire, but suddenly stopped because he forgot what was supposed to do next_!

Rookie scratched his head. "Now, what did I do last time...?"

Popple bounced around on fire! "**AW, GOD DAMN IT, ROOKIE! WHY'D YOU DO THAT? YOU'RE A BLASTOISE! YOU CAN'T SET THINGS ON FIRE!"**

"True, but my mom was a Charizard!" Rookie pointed out!

Popple scowled! "Ew, that's gross!"

Chuigi read his magazine "Not as gross as a Skitty and Wailord gettin' it on with other!"

Pikario shrugged. "He means they can breed..."

Rookie frowned. **"HOLY CRAP!"**

_He quickly picked up Popple and threw him at Chuigi's magazine, but he missed because he was aiming at Pikario!_

Rookie shook his fist! "Damn you split personalities!"

Popple was in the air! **"AHH! ROOKIE!"**

"**AHH! PORNO!"** Chuigi hid behind his magazine!

"Now fear my Vine Whip!" Rookie said, exploding for some reason!

_Popple hit the wall and exploded! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!_

_**Battle Mode Complete! What the hell was that?**_

Pikario stood firm! **"LEVEL UP!"**

Chuigi chuckled. "That's the first time we've done that all day!"

Then, Lakitu appeared and stuff! "You get...**NO BONUS PONTS!"**

Chuigi got mad again! "What?"

Pikario began to choke Lakitu! "Why, you little...!"

Lakitu was dizzy! "OW! Stop it! Stop it!"

_Pikario shook all the bonus points out of Lakitu!_

Chuigi was happy! **_"YAY!"_**

**"WAH!** I'm going home... **WITHOUT MY BONUS POINTS!"** Lakitu flew away!

_**Pikario's stats are as following:**_

**HP:** _No one cares because he never gets hit!_

**BP:** _No one cares because he never uses them!_

**ATK:** _No one cares because he electrocutes and jumps on people!_

**DEF:** _No one cares because his defenses are cheap!_

**SPD:** _He's the fastest thing alive! Who WOULD care!_

**STACHE:** _Originally: 3,829,382! Raised+48,394,839,089,002!_

Pikario frowned. "What a waste! I don't even **_have_** a mustache!"

_Chuigi is mad because he doesn't have any stats!_

Popple pointed at something! "Our WhatStar is flying the coop, see?"

Rookie made a stupid face! "I see!"

_The WhatStar turned into a chicken!_

Chuigi gritted his teeth! "Oh, crap!"

Pikario ran over to the WhatStar! **"FREE RIDE!"**

_Everybody jumped on the WhatStar and it flew away, turning normal again!_

Pikario exclaimed. "This is fun!"

Popple looked scared! "I'm not supposed to be on this ride! You have to be at least this tall, see?"

For some idiotic reason that will not be mentioned here, he let go of the WhatStar to demonstrate with his arms, but he fell off!

"I'm letting go for no reason!" Chuigi announced, letting go!

"Me, too!" Pikario also let go!

Rookie realized something! "Hey, I know who I am now! I'm... **BOWSER, THE KING WHO IS ALSO AFRAID OF HEIGHTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"** Then, he fell off!

_The WhatStar blew up into 4 pieces and disappeared!

* * *

_

_**Authoress' Notes:** And now, onto Chapter 6 with so much ease..._


	6. Around the World in 80 Rrated Sequels!

_**Authoress' Notes:** On with the story! I have nothing to say except that there will be a surprise if P&C get over 100 reviews!_

* * *

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga! **_

_**Chapter 6:** Around the World in 80 R-rated Sequels!_

_

* * *

Chuigi is stuck in the ground. He promptly pulls himself out in annoyance._

"Damn it! I'm lost! Oh, well. I can always eat Pikario if I start to starve and then, I can eat the fish, seaweed, clams, shells, and... HEY, WAIT! I SAID THIS LAST TIME!" He chose this time to look around the island. "And where the hell is Pikario, anyway?"

_He sees a commotion going on behind him, in which involves Pikario and a bunch of crabs!_

Random Island Corphish waved its claws around! "Alright you, gimme your money, or your life!"

Pikario growled. "I told you, I'm broke, damn it! I ain't got nuttin'! And when I say that, I mean I'm broke!"

"He has to break sooner or later!" the Random Island Krabby said.

"You're a bunch of assholes, all of ya!" Pikario spat!

The Random Island Corphish got mad! "That's it! Get 'im!"

_They start to attack, but Chuigi showed up randomly!_

Chuigi danced around! "Hey, look! I'm showing up randomly!"

_**"CHEESE IT! IT'S DA COPS!"**_ the Random Corphish and Krabby shouted, running away!

Pikario got up."Well, that was stupid!"

"Get out of the damn ground so we can go do something else stupid!" Chuigi demanded!

_Chuigi then burped very loudly!_

"Doing stuff stupid is easy!" Pikario remarked.

_Chuigi picked his nose!_

Then, a Blue Oho Jee showed up! "I love know no fingernails."

_Chuigi stared at it!_

"What the fuck?" Pikario asked.

The Blue Oho Jee said, "Git wit et, mon!"

Pikario sweatdropped. _"O...k..."_

"You call me Oho Jee, but I no know why..." the Blue Oho Jee mused!

Pikario laughed. "Yeah, dude, I mean, you're a freakin' Wynaut!"

"Visit our Temple God, because you can!" the Blue Oho Jee disappeared!

**_In the Thunder God's Temple!_**

Pikario said, nonchalantly, "Amazing how we got _**in**_ here with getting here!"

**_They go in deeper!_**

Chuigi pointed. "Look, another Wynaut..."

A Blue Oho Jee shouted loudly!**_"I the Great Thunderhand!"_**

Chuigi flipped him off! "Whatever. I shall now scale this fence for all that is dumb!"

"And if you see any beer, bring me some!" Pikario called out to his little brother!

_In the Thunder God's Room, Chuigi saw a Blue Oho Jee!_

"I am me," it intelligently remarked!

**_"STOP STALKING ME!"_** Chuigi tried to run away, but he hit a block. completely breaking it! This causes the lights to flicker! "Ah, hell."

_In a flash, a Raikou appeared with a fancy headdress! **OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_

_**"WHO DARES NOT PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL?"**_ the Raikou thundered!

"I didn't do ANYTHING and I was drunk when I did it!" Chuigi stupidly explained!

"I am the Thunder Temple God guy! And I like cheese!" the Raikou disappeared!

Chuigi frowned! "Crap, this place sucks! Ooh! A ball! "He walked up to the Ball Thingy! "Wonder how it tastes..."Chuigi bit it and got shocked! "OWWWWWWWWWWW!"

_The Thunder Temple God appeared again!_

**_"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"_** he boomed!

_Chuigi spit out thunder, which is impossible, becuase Thunder is a sound, therefore, it cannot be seen!_

The Thunder Temple God was surprised! "WOW! I shall teach you how to use that power the correct way!"

_Chuigi was bored, so he tookout his GBA out of boredom!_

"All you have to do is push the almighty Q button and you're done!" then, theThunder Temple God disappeared AGAIN!

_Chuigi decided to leaves because of all the weirdness and met up with Pikario!_

Pikario smacked him! "Where's my booze and what are you doing with your GBA?"

Chuigi smacked him back! "There was no booze, but I can do this!"

_Chuigi pushed the almighty "Q" Button and he spit out Thunder!_

Pikario frowned and pointed at the impossible feat! "You can't do that! Thunder is a sound, therefore, it isn't seeable!"

_**They suddenly warped to the Fire God's Temple!**_

"That was random!" Chuigi spat!

"I'm going to get that Q button!" Pikario jumped up and ran off!

_In the Fire Temple God's Room, Pikario saw a Red Oho Jee!_

Red Oho Jee danced around! "You call me--"

**"SHUT UP!"** Pikario bellowed!

_Shocked and surprised, the Red Oho Jee sweatdropped and continued dancing around, not saying another word!_

_Pikario was mad, so he kicked a brick and it exploded!_

All of a sudden, an Entei wearing a fancy headress appeared!**_"WHO DARES TO--"_**

Pikario cut him off! _**"Me! So buzz off!"**_

Entei cried!** "YOU BIG MEANIE!"** He disappeared in a poof of smoke that was all like POOF!

Pikario went up to the Fire Thingy! "This must a MEATBALL!" So, he it bit it! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Entei appeared again and laughed! "Ha! Serves you right! The Fire Temple God's curse is upon you!"

_Pikario spit out Fire!_

"Because you were so mean to me, I'm not going to show you anything! FAREWELL!" the Fire Temple God disappeared!

Pikario cussed! "Shit!"

_Sometime later, he finds Chuigi!_

Chuigi held his GBA away from Pikario! "THE Q BUTTON IS MINE! SHOO! STAY AWAY!"

Pikario farted and spit out fire! "Hey! I finally did it!"

Then, a Red Oho Jee decided to appear! "I only pretend to be dead. Ha ha. Funny."

_Pikario & Chuigi both sweatdropped, then they warped outside and saw a Blue Oho Jee!_

"I wish were sun at dusk." the Blue Oho Jee said dumbly!

"SHUT UP!" Chuigi hit it with Thunder and something BAD happened!

The Blue Oho Jee ran around in circles! **_"EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY EEBITY..."_**

Pikario frowned. "What the hell is with these guys?"

The Blue Oho Jee stopped acting all weird-like! "Are spirits delicious?"

Then, a Red Oho Jee appeared! "How much is a chance?"

_Then, Pikario & Chuigi wer all like, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and t__hey ran into a yellow pipe with the Oho Jees behind them **UH OH!****

* * *

**_

_**In the Yellow Pipe!**_

Pikario freaked! "OH NO! WE'RE FALLING IN A FAST MOTION AND I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! HELP!"

The Red Oho Jee randomly stated! "American Idol is an evil show!"

Chuigi perked up! "That's the first smart thing you've said all day!"

* * *

_**In the Seabed!**_

Chuigi ran around in circles! "OH NO! WE'RE DROWNING AND I CAN'T SWIM!"

Blue Oho Jee smiled! "Everyone hates Luvdisc!"

Pikario nodded. "True, true! Besides, I think these Oho Jees give us the ability to breathe underwater AND swim!"

Chuigi pointed to some random fire burning underwater! "AND see fire burn underwater!"

_Theywent back through a nearby yellow pipe and floated to the top!

* * *

_

_**In Another Yellow Pipe!**_

Pikario had an idea! "I think we should keep these guys!"

Chuigi scoffed. "Like we have anything better to do..."

_**At Stardust Fields, Fawful and Cackletta are playing SSBM!**_

"Damn it, Fawful! This is all your fault! I TOLD you to use Biometry!" Cackletta cursed!

Fawful nodded! "That's not even a word and I agree with you!"

"And I can't play, either! I'm a ghost!" Cackletta's controller exploded! "DAMN!"

Bowser crawled over! "I... am... King! Fear... me...!"

Fawful was shocked! "Holy Holocaust! It's Bowser!"

Cackletta frowned. "I will instruct you to never say that again, but you're right! I'll possess him!"

_**And so, she did! KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

She laughed all "I just possessed some poor, idiotic fool" like! **_"EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!_** I can't see what I look like, but I know that it's very EVIL!"

_At the Whogivezahkrap Int'l Airport, Pikario & Chuigi were confused!_

"What does "Int'l" mean?" Chuigi asked!

"And how'd we get here?" Pikario wanted to know!

Peasley appeared and flashed! "Ah! Pikario! Chuigi! I want you to..." Then he noticed where they were! "Oh... nevermind!" So, he flew away!

Pikario sweatdropped. "That was weird..."

Chuigi was feeling perky! "I feel like committing vandalism!"

Lady Luna pointed at a Pirahna Plant! "Hey, you two! Get these plants out of the way! Peach is coming on her fancy-ass pink plane!"

Pikario ran over to a Pirahna Plant! "In that case,** DIE, PLANT!"**

The Lileep got mad! "I AM NOT A PLANT! I'M A BARNACLE! AHHH!"

_Pikario killed the thing with fire! He does this until all the Lileeps are dead, causing a Cradily to appear!_

**"MY CHILDREN! YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR THIS!"** Mom Cradily growled!

_**Battle Mode Start! Uh oh! Mama's mad!**_

Chuigi put his hands up in defense! "Look, lady, it was all his fault! I had nothing to do with this!"

Mom Cradily turned to Pikario! "THEN DIE, PIKACHU!"

"NOTHING WILL KEEP ME FROM MY WOMAN!" Pikario pickedup Mom Cradily and threw her in the water!

_**Battle Mode Completed! POLLUTION!**_

Mom Cradily was happy! "Yay! Now I can plant here and pollute the water!"

Lady Luna clapped her paws sarcastically, if that's even at all possible! "Wonderful. Now the Princess can land. Let's have a party."

Pikario was excited! _**"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**_

_Chuigi sweatdropped!

* * *

_

_**Sometime later at the castle!**_

Pikario bounced up and down! "I can finally see her again!"

Chuigi sighed. "Whatever..."

Lady Luna sighed sarcastically! "The beautiful Peach will now present herself. Hooray."

_Peach did a cute little curtsy thingy and opened her mouth!_

Chuigi freaked out!"Oh, crap! I just remembered! **_THE EXPLODING WORDS! AHHHHHHHHHH!"_**

Pikario scoffed! "Forget the fucking words!"

Peach gave everybody a hug!**"PIKARIO! CHUIGI!** I missed you so much!"

Chuigi made a face! "Really?"

Peach smiled! "Well, I missed Pikario!"

Chuigi sighed. "I'm so unloved..."

Then, Peasley appeared out of nowhere! "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... and that's where babies come from! And why Peach is normal!"

"Well said!** BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** QueenWhere laughed.

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Ok, that was awkward... Anyway, just R&R and I'll work on Chapter 6 of **"Livin' It Up in the Sapphire Version!"** TOODLES!_


	7. How to Kill a Trunkle in Less Than 11 Ye...

_**Authoress' Notes:** It's time for another ridiculously funny chapter by me!

* * *

_

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 7:** How To Kill a Trunkle in Less Than 11 Years!_

_

* * *

_

_It looks like everyone is enjoying themselves at the castle! **...SORTA!**_

Pikario swooned. "Oh, Peach! How I longed for your love for all these years!"

Shroomsworth rolled his eyes. "**WHAT** years?"

Peach giggled! "Tee hee! That's so sweet!"

Chuigi shook his head. "Suck up..."

Shroomsworth cleared his throat! "I love to be the one who interrupts this wonderful love scene, but Peach wants to visit someplace called Little Fungus Town!"

Pikario frowned! "What? Peach, wouldn't you want stay here with me so we can... you know?"

Chuigi looked away. "Eww..."

Peach sighed. "Sorry, but as the Shroomish Kingdom representative and all that crap, I have to go!"

"Damn it..." Pikario growled under his breath!

"Oh, boo hoo! It's the tragedy of the century!" Shroomsworth sarcastically cried with a hankie included!

"Welcome to my world..." Lady Luna said, smirking!

Then, the Red Oho Jee appeared! "Are we strange?"

The Blue Oho Jee appeared, too! "What that mean?"

Peach picked up the Red one! "How cute! For me? You shouldn't have!"

"I had traveled the seven seas to catch them for you!" Pikario boasted like a jerk!

Peach swooned! "AW! That's cute!"

Chuigi turned away. "Meh."

"Little Fungus Town is past Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!" Queen Where decided to inform everyone in the room!

Peach looked scared! "Oh, dear! Pikario, Chuigi, will you take me there?"

_**"NO!"**_ Chuigi spat!

Pikario knocked him over! **_"YES!"_**

Queen Where said, "If I were you, I'd be too lazy to walk there, so off you go!" So, she used her Vine Whip to catapult Peach and Shroomsworth all the way to Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!

Pikario got mad! "HEY! What about us!"

Queen Where pushed them out!"Walking is good for you!"

* * *

_**Sometime later, in the middle of nowhere!**_

Pikario threw his arms up and shouted!**_"WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!"_**

Chuigi pointed! "Look, a cave!"

_So, they go in, seeing the Hammerhead Bros. again!_

Sledge sweatdropped. "Hey, it's those two again!"

"Oh no..." Hammer groaned!

Pikario pointed at Hammer! "Hey, it's you!"

Chuigi made a face! "Déjà vu..."

Hammer gave them the Super Hammers! "Just take these and leave us alone!"

Pikario smiled. "W00t! Now we can go break into houses and steal stuff!"

"And play stupid mini games with a rock to get new attacks!" Chuigi added!

_And they do!_

A Golem appeared! "THWOMP! I am THWOMP!"

Pikario frowned! "No, you're not!"

Chuigi laughed and pointed! "You're just a stupid Golem!"

The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! SILENCE! I am a Golem named Thwomp!"

"That must suck..." Pikario mused!

The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! SILENCE!"

"Why do you keep saying "THWOMP!"?" Chuigi, for once, smartly asked!

The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! I don't know! Pay me 200 coins to play a stupid mini game!"

"Ah, what the heck?" Chuigi gavehim 200 coins!

The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! Break these rocks that magically appeared out of nowhere!"

Pikario's ears stood straight up! "My god! They must be evil rocks!"

_So, he breaks all 3 with his Hammer, getting 8,564,905,784,774 coins, a Secret Scroll, and a tampon!_

Chuigi sweatdropped! "Eh?"

Pikario help up the tampon! "This is one fucked-up looking condom..."

The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! **_"THWOMP! GRR, GET OUT OF OUT HERE BEFORE I CRUSH YOU!"

* * *

_**

**_At Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!_**

Pikario saw Peach! "Oh, happy day! Peach, we're together again!"

Shroomsworth rolled his eyes! "Oh, puh-leese!"

Chuigi watched the sand blow in the wind! "What kind of valley is this?"

"Tee hee!" Peach ironically answered! "Anywho, let's get started!"

Shroomsworth suddenly started **_singing! _**"Everybody's looking for that something, one thing that makes it all complete. You'll find it in the strangest places, places you never knew it could be... Some find it in the faces of their children; some find it in their lover's eyes..."

Pikario followed Peach! "Blah, blah, blah! Why are you toying with us?"

Shroomsworth watched them leave, then remembered! "OH NO! I totally forgot!"

_So, Shroomsworth ran ahead to try and catch Pikario!_

Pikario exploded!**_"WHAT DO YOU WANT! AND WHY ARE YOU SO HELLBENT ON KEEPING ME AWAY FROM PEACH!"_**

Shroomsworth started _**singing**_ again! "Hey, guys! I just remembered! The wheels on the bus go round and round!"

_**"I DON'T CARE!"**_ Pikario shouted!

_Further away, Peach encounters a Gritty Goomba!_

The Gritty Goomba popped its 3 heads up! "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! With my 3 heads of evilness, I shall take over the world!"

Peach waved at te 3-headed thing! "That was a nice speech, but I have to get to Little Fungus Town!"

"Oh! Good luck then!" the Gritty Goomba said, leaving!

Shroomsworth continued! "...the only one for me is you, and then we'll be so happy together!"

Pikario pointed at the Breloom!**_"YOU MUST BE GAY!"_**

"...or mentally retarded..." Chuigi added!

"...or some kind of strange combination of the two!" Pikario finished!

* * *

_**Sometime later!**_

Peach was excited! "Whee! Little Fungus Town is up ahead!"

Pikario sighed! "Finally!"

Chuigi also sighed! "Glad that's over!"

"We didn't even do anything!" Shroomsworth informed everyone!

Pikario growled! "When you go to bed, expect me to stab you in the back with a rusty knife!"

_The group goes ahead to the entrance, but are stopped by the evil Trunkle!_

_**"MWAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**_ Trunkle laughed!

"GASP!" Chuigi pointed over dramatically! "He spelled "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" wrong! He must be truly evil!"

Peach gasped! "Oh, my!"

Trunkle waved his branches around! "That, I am, because I'm the evil bastard of all the bad guys you've ever fought!"

Pikario got into a fighting stance! "Bring it on!"

_**Battle Mode Start! OH NO IT'S TRUNKLE! RUN AWAY!**_

"Watch, as I use my inhale ability to copy your powers!" Trunkle started to inhale things!

Chuigi noticed something! "You can't do that! It's copyrighted by HAL Laboratory!"

"And Nintendo'll sue our asses!" Pikario pulled on his ears!

"I don't care!" Trunkle spat, regaining 57,693,040 HP!

Pikario made a fist! "We WILL beat you!"

_**10 years later!**_

Pikario coughed up shit! "We CAN'T beat you!"

_**"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**_ Trunkle regained 74,944,840,383,939 HP!

"Why won't you die?" Chuigi panted!

Trunkle laughed madly! "Because I'm an evil bastard! And evil bastards never die!"

Chuigi made a face! "I thought happily deranged people never die..."

Pikario shrugged. "Deep down, we're all dead inside..."

Trunkle lost 74,405,868 HP! "What? You're confusing me with your confusing logic!"

Pikario got an idea! "That's it! Let's use our confusing logic, because all them evil bastards ain't too bright, is they?"

Chuigi smiled! "No, but I'm not sure if I answered your question!"

Pikario spoke! "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

Chuigi rubbed his head! "Is the truth REALLY out there?"

**_"WHAT?"_** Trunkle lost a shitload of HP!

Pikario laughed! "Why can't we all just get along?"

Chuigi asked. "Who let the dogs out?"

**_"AHHHHHHHH!" _**Trunkle is losing HP! A lot of it!

Pikario pointed at Trunkle! "When the sun goes down every other Tennessee and the tide's not working, how long will it take me to realize what I'm doing?"

"If a tree falls in your backyard and I'm not around to hear it, what time is it last Thursday when it's supposed to rain, but my dressers backed out?" Chuigi asked, not sure what he even said!

**"I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS CRAP!" **Trunkle exploded!

**_Battle Mode Complete! Thank the stars that Trunkle is finally dead!_**

**"I'M GOING HOME TO ASK MY MOM WHAT THE EQUIVALENT OF PIE IS!"** Trunkle exclaimed, running away!

The Red Oho Jee was happy! "Hooray!"

"What he said, but with more emphasis!" the Blue Oho Jee added!

Then, a Shroomish appeared! "Wow! You have such amazing logic!"

A Breloom also appeared! "Everybody in this town is a dumbass, so that guy's been a real problem lately!"

Peach giggled. "Oh, Pikario! You're so sexy when you save the world like that!"

Chuigi sighed."Oh, barf..."

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Yes, I swear, Trunkle is more annoying than Bowletta! It takes from 20 minutes to an hour to kill that guy!_


	8. How Chuigi Got His NeverLost Groove Back...

_**Auhtoress' Notes:** Hmm, nothing to say, except that I will be posting stoires like crazy...uh sooner or later..._

_

* * *

_

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 8:** How Chuigi Got His Never-Lost Groove Back!_

* * *

In Little Fungus Town, everyone was either a Shroomish or a Breloom! How fun! 

"So, uh welcome... I guess..." a random Shoomish interjected, scratching his head.

Pikario shrugged. "Now what?"

"I'm going to the biggest building in town to chill out! See ya!" Peach called out, running off!

Shroomsworth suddenly got mad for no reason! "Why don't you two do something constructive?!" he bellowed at Pikario & Chuigi!

Pikario made a face! "Like this?!" he asked sarcastically, shooting Shroomsworth with a flaming arrow!

Since Shroomsworth was a Grass type, he feared fire, so he ran away screaming, "GAH! FIRE!" And this made Pikario kinda sorta happy!

Sometime later, Pikario & Chuigi are walking around, obviously looking for something, but Chuigi didn't know what!

"So... what are we doing now?" the Pichu asked.

Pikario sneered as he continued to look about! "Looking for the biggest building in this stupid town!"

"Come one! Come all!" a random Breloon shouted! "To the only place in the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom that has an arcade!"

Upon hearing the word 'arcade', Chuigi perked up for once! "AWESOME! Finally! A stroke of genius in this urban pile of crap! Come on!" And with that, he began draging Pikario to the arcade!

"What?! I don't have time to sit around and watch you read Playboy magazines and steal expired coupons out of them! I need some alone time with Peach!!!!" Pikario argued!

In the arcade, it was like heaven! Electronics, video games, cheat codes, spoilers for the next episode of _"Kirby: Right Back At Ya!"_ It was truly a sight to behold! And Manager wasn't wasn't making it any prettier! Only a hot prostitute could do that for Chuigi!

"Wel--" the Breloom manager started, but Chuigi cut him off!

"Can it!" Chuigi interupted, then ran over to look at the dirty magazine rack!

The manager crossed hs arms and pouted. "How rude!" Noticing Pikario, he tried to start a conversation with him! "Hey, you! How would you like to play a game and win a prize?!"

Clearly annoyed, Pikario cocked an eyebrow. "Is it a free trip out of this dump?"

The manager shruged. "Eh, sure. Why not?"

Smiling, Pikario got out the GameCube he got from helping CaptianKoopa Troopa and played SSBM and beat Event 50! Too bad he can't do that for me!

When he was done, he held out his hand! "Okay, now my prize!"

Swaetdropping, the manager gave him an Invincishroom, a green mushroom with red spots!

Around thattime, Chuigi chose to come over with a _"How to Commit Homicide and Like It" _book! He showed it to Pikario and pointed at it! "Hey, look at this! An actual way to living! Buy this, or I'll--" Chuigi then noticed the Invincishroom! "What the hell is that? A dildo?"

Pikario shrugged. "Maybe..." He then started eating it, enraing his little brother!

Chuigi hopped up and down angrily. "HEY, I WANTED SOME!!!"

"Um yum! Isn't it delectable?" the manager intruded, trying to change the subject!

Forgetting about Pikario, Chuigi went to the manager! **"I WANT TO BUY THIS BOOK, AND NOT FOR $24.95!!!"**

The Breloom sweatdropped for the second time! "Excuse me?"

Suddenly, Pikario said something weird like 'GACK!' Then, he turned green and said something like 'POISON!!!!!!!'

Chuigi whipped his head around! "What the hell is wrong with you?! I'm trying to strike a deal with this loser!" he said loud enough for the manager to hear, causing him to sweatdrop again!

"IT BURNS!!!!!!" Pikario then choked and fainted... or died... or whatever! This just made Chuigi irritated!

"Why must everything always be about _**you**_?! I have feelings, too! I need love, too! I have a life, too! **AND** a girlfriend!!!" Chuigi went on, trying not to think of his Pikachu 'girlfriend', Daisy.

Pikario was unconscious, and therefore did not reply!

**"WELL, SAME TO YOU!!!!!!"** Chuigi retorted to no one! Turning back to the manager, he slammed down a $5 bill on the counter! "$5.50! Take it or leave it!" he threatened, knowing he was 50 cents short!

Throwing his hands/claws in the air, the manager shouted, **"THE GREAT MARIO IS DEAD!!!!!! OH, HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!!!"**

It was now Chuigi's turn to sweatdrop, as he hid his new stolen book somewhere in his non-existant pants!

Sometime later at the hospital, or the embassy or whatever the hell that place is, everyone was either sad or otherwise!

Dr. Shroomish shook his head as he took Pikario's pulse! "Oh my... this doesn't look good..."

"Oh, my poor baby!" Peach sobbed.

Chuigi smirked with his arms crossed. "Heh heh..."

Done with his observation, Dr. Shroomish spoke, "Well, in 3 days..."

Peach held her breath in concern as Chuigi looked at chart explaining the general structure of a sperm!

"...he'll be a sock..." Dr. Shroomish finally finished!

Peach threw backher head and howled! "NO!!!!!!!!!!!" She then cried hysterically, like no one saw that coming!

Chuigi, on the other hand, was ecstatic! "COOLNESS! Can I watch?!"

"Might as well; there's no way to cure him..." Dr. Shroomish said, paying more attention to Peach than to Chuigi!

"KICK-ASS!" Chuigi then somehow got some popcorn! "You want some, Peach?"

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!" Peach yelled, crying and whining!

Chuigi frowned up. "Fine then, you stuck-up little bitch!"

Dr. Shroomish mused."Now, that I think about it... there is a way!"

**"DAMN YOU AND YOU'RE LATE THEORIES!!!!!!!!"** Chuigi cursed,throwing hispopcorn on the ground!

Dr. Shroomish continued. "In Wutdafukinhellezdat Ruins, there lies the mystical PANTYHOSE OF DESTRUCTION!"

A Random Chorus suddenly appeared and sang, "Haaaaaaaaaallelujah! Haaaaaaaaaallelujah!"

Chuigi shrugged. "So?"

"If Pikario has it, he will get better!" Dr. Shroomish concluded.

Chuigi picked up his popcorn! "And I care, because...?"

Dr. Shroomish went on. "Unfortunately, it's full of molesters, perverts, bisexuals, and STRANGERS WITH CANDY!!!!!"

A Random Evil Chorus suddenly appeared and said, **"DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!"**

Chuigi shook his head and begn chanting, "HELL NO! I WON'T GO! HELL NO! I WON'T GO! HELL NO! I WON'T GO!"

Peach got furious and threw Chuigi out. **"SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET GOING!!!!!!!"**

"BUT I'M SCARED! WAHHHHHHHH!" Chuigi ran until he got to Psychic Kamek's house.

Psycho Kamek looked at Chuigi. "Oh, dear, you look terrified!"

"Yeah, you got any booze? If I get drunk, maybe I can die happy!" Chuigi looked around, blue in the face.

Psycho Kamek smiled. "I've got something even better! You're getting sleepy..." he began to wave his wand.

Chuigi shook his head wildly and pointed at the Squirtle! "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I will NOT fall for this stupid David Copperfield kind of shi--" Suddenly, he fell asleep!

"You are a Pikachu... you're strong... YOU ARE PIKARIO!!!!" He hit Chuigi with his wand, waking him up!

"OW!!!!!!" Chuigi woke up and realized something. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HERE WE GOOOOOO!" And he jumped out the window!

Psycho Kamek sweatdropped. "Poor, delusional gas bag... I didn't even do anything..."

At Wutdafukinhellezdat Ruins, Chuigi was so invincible, that he suddenly warps to the end of the ruins!

"I... AM... PIKARIO!!!!!!!!!!!! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!! I'M INVINCIBLE!" Chuigi claimed. "No one can stop the great Pikario! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Then, the Ruins Onix fell from the roof."You look ssssstunningly sssstrong! Pleasssse help me releasssse my pain!" he hissed, liked every normal Rock Snake should!

Chuigi replied."The mighty Pikario always helps those in need!"

The Onix smiled somehow! "Good, becausssse I need the relieve mysssself of sssstressss becausssse people think I'm a bissssexual!"

"The mighty Pikario says: HOW CRUDE!" Chuigi said.

"Sssso jusssst dodge my Rock Throw for... uh... 3 ssssecondssss and you can go!" the Onix continued.

Chuigi got into a fighting stance. "BRING IT ON! THE GREAT PIKARIO IS READY!"

The Ruins Monster simply dropped one boulder about 100 feet away from the Pichu, while Chuigi did strange hand movements and tried to do the moonwalk.

The Ruins Monster was happy."That'ssss it! No more sssstressss! I feel like I'M walking on ssssunsssshine!!!"

Chuigi suddenly stoppeddancing. "Don't get carried away! You're an Onix, and everyone knows that Onixes can't dance... right?"

The Ruins Monster sweatdropped. "Uh... I don't like to think sssso..."

Chuigi began to boast."Good, because that means I'm right, so THERE!"

All of sudden, Chuigistarted to glow and he turns into a Pikachu!

Notknowing what happened, Chuigi lookedaround in confusion."What the hell was that?!"

"You've jusssst evolved! Congratulationssss!" the Ruins Monster said.

Chuigi scoffed. "NONSENSE! I, the great Pikario, cannot evolve unless I am exposed to a Thunder Stone, and I don't see any here, so farewell!" So, he ran away!

"It'ssss good to be happy!" the Ruins Monster concluded.

And so Chuigi, the brand new Pikachu, grabbed the pantyhose of destruction off a tree branch and ran back to Little Fungus Town, all the while shouting, "HA HA! The great Pikario does it again!", confusing a lot of random bystanders. Anyway, he walked toward the embassy place with the pantyhose, butdidn't look where he was going and crashed into the building, snapping out of his trance!

"Whoa! Did I get drunk or what? Oh, well... I wonder if 3 days have passed by yet!" Chuigi went insidePikario's room, but ran back out after Peach screamed at him!

Then Pikario ran out, looking angry. **"JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!"** he bellowed.

Chuigi made a face and pointed at Pikario."Hey, why aren't you a sock yet?! Was this some kind of plot to make me leave?!"

Pikario seethed with anger."No, that was for my stupid little brother, but he's probably dead by now! And YOU! How dare you intrude in on our love-making?!?!"

Chuigi eyes went wide. "You two were doing it?!?! OH, GROSS! IT'S A GOOD THING THE LIGHTS WERE OUT!!!!"

"Who are you, anyway?!" Pikario demanded.

"Uh, duh! Chuigi?" the other Pikachu answered, rolling his eyes.

Pikario frowned in anger."Chuigi's dead! And besides, he's a Pichu! You're a Pikachu like me!"

Chuigi frowned in annoyance."Are you on psychedelic mushrooms, or something?"

To make things more clear, Pikario showed Chuigi a mirror.

"WHAT THE?! I'M A PIKACHU!!!!! WICKED!" Chuigi gasped, getting a good at himself in the mirror.

Pikario pointed out the door."LEAVE NOW!!!!!!"

Sometime later, Chuigi suddenly remembered everything that happened andeverybody sat together on a lobby couch ashetold Pikario and Peach his mini adventure, since I'm too lazy to write it out!

Peach clapped her paws with joy."How nice! Widdle Chuigi-Weegi's growing up!"

Not usually getting much praise from Peach, Chuigi couldn't help but beam at her comment.

During Chuigi's explanation, Pikario had been looking down, massging his forehead in irritation. "Peach, can we finish up? Please?" Pikario asked when Chuigi was done,clearly annoyed and horny.

Peach smiled at how immature Pikario was being. "Oh, sure, but only for 10 minutes; I'm getting tired!"

Pikario smirked and lead Peach back into his room, making sure to lock the door this time!

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Eww..."

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** WOW! Chuigi evolved, Peach and Pikario are gettin' it on, and Cackletta is nowhere to be seen in sight!She'll capture Peach sooner or later... or NOT!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Anyway, R&R folks, R&R... BTW, just as a reminder for the confused, the Ruins Monster WAS an Onix, but he is the monster of the Ruins and he'e potraying the real Ruins Monster in **"Mario & Luigi"**, so I referred to him as both. But as far as **"Pikario & Chuigi"** goes, he IS an Onix._


	9. The Plot Thickens and So Does Chuigi's

_**Authoress' Notes:** Yikes! What a long time it's been! Anywho, I'm back with a new chapter and a new computer! Just consider this chapter a celebration to Fire Red and Leaf Green coming out! And I'm getting them both! YAY!_

* * *

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 9:** The Plot Thickens and So Does Chuigi's Dirty Little Mind!

* * *

_

Chuigi is sitting the office of the embassy place, while Pikario and Peach finish making out!

"Dammit! What's taking you guys so long?! Peach said ten minutes! JUST TEN MINUTES!!!" Chuigi shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

A few minutes later, the door opened and a very ecstatic Peach and annoyed Pikario stepped out!

"Ooh, how fun was that?!" Peach shouted, running over to where Chuigi was sitting and hugging him. "You know, you're very handsome as a Pikachu, Chuigi."

"That's nice," he responded, not amused whatsoever. Pikario stomped over and pushed him out of the way.

"Move! Only I can snuggle with her!"

"OW! DAMN YOU!" Chuigi shouted, hitting the floor with a crash.

"UP YOURS!" Pikario retorted.

The name-calling and cussing continued until the lights went out!

"Nice going, Chuigi! You sucked all the lights out!"

"No... I blew the fuse's mind..." Chuigi responded stupidly.

"GOD, YOU'RE DUMB!"

Then, Fawful appeared out of nowhere!

"Fools!" he screeched. "The snack cake of your dinner plate will be the mustard and the napkins of the EEEEEEVIL utensils used by the unwealthy customer eating out at a fancy-ass hotel with only $3.38 EXACT CHANGE in his holy pockets of..."

"DUDE, SHUT UP! WE GET IT!!!" Pikario bellowed.

Peach chose this time to faint, so she did!

"FEHHHHHHHH!!!" Fawful spat, as the lights went out again!

"Damn it! Someone pay the freakin' light bill!" Pikario shouted.

Chuigi got out 13 dollars! "Will this do?" he asked.

Pikario growled in irritation as a big huge shadow came in and laughed all like 'EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!', and Pikario was all like, 'what the fuck was that?!' and Chuigi was all like, 'dude, I don't know!' then Fawful was all like, 'behold! It is Cackletta who has poured her soul into the Koopa who is king!' and Pikario was all like, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!'

The lights came back on and, lo and behold, stood one of the ugliest things... uh... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"HOLY CRAP, CACKLETTA! YOU ARE AS UGLY AS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Chuigi shouted, very rudely, I might add!

"SILENCE! I'M NOT CACKLETTA!!!!" the big thing that was very unpleasant to look at shouted. "I'm... BOWLETTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!!!!!!!"

Pikario sat there with a blank look on his face. "...dude... that... THAT!" he said, pointing at the spacious vile...err...thing, "...is BYFAR... the STUPIDEST... WEIRDEST... most UNNATURAL AND UNUSUAL name I have ever had the misfortune to hear! C'mon! Think harder about it! Your name be your life!"

"SHUT UP!" Bolwetta roared, "yours ain't no better, boy!"

"THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Anyway," the evil lady/guy continued, "I'm taking Peach and there's nothing you can do about it! EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!!!!!!"

So, she did! And jumped out the window and into the Koopa Cruiser! With FAWFUL!

"Whee!" Fawful shouted. "I am of the not flying type because I be too lazy, mon!"

"YES!!!!!" Bowletta agreed, as they left to go... uh... somewhere... that is a... PLACE OF THE EVILNESS!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Pikario screamed, running out of the big building thing where lots of stuff took place! "My sex slave-slash-bedroom partner-slash-woman!!!!!!" He bawled, actually saying the word 'slash', instead of using the symbol!

"Dude, you need help..." Chuigi said, bluntly, yet obviously!

Sometime later, everyone went back to the castle to have tea! Amongst other things, because Shroomsworth was really pissed off at Pikario & Chuigi for acting like the idiots they were!

"Damn it, you two! This is all your fault! If you hadn't gone off on one of your idiotic shenanigans, then none of this would've ever happened!" Shroomsworth lectured, shaking his deformed fist/claw thing, cause he's a Breloom!

"What did I do?!" Chuigi asked, in annoyance of his brother's presence.

"You got hypnotized by some wacko turtle and probably raped somebody, you dirty little cur, you!" the old Breloom guy said!

Chuigi's eyes grew big and he gasped! "I did?! Dear god, I hope it wasn't a guy of ANY sort or I would just DIE!"

Just Prince Peasley entered the room, making everything flash and shine like never before! ...except for all those other times he did it...

"Fear not!" the Bulbasaur said! "For I've found the parts of the WhatStar!"

"The What?!" Pikario questioned.

"The STAR!" Shroomsworth answered.

"Who gives a fuck about that?" Chuigi injected, nonchalantly.

"Well," Peasley began... "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! And, that my friends, is why cheese tastes so damn good! Oh, and about the WhatStar, too!"

"Whatever. Let's find the damn thing so I can get more nookie with Peach!" Pikario said.

"I simply LOVE your speeches, Peasley! You are such a smart guy! Care to have some more tea sometime...ALONE?" Chuigi said strangely, like he was possessed!

Peasley laughed, unaware of Chuigi's intentions and said, "Sure, noble Chuigi, even though we really didn't have tea anyway! We just stood around talked about stuff!"

"Great! Here's my phone number..." the green Pikachu whispered slipping him his number!

Then the other Umbreon not on the side of evil, came in with a PINK GBA that I still want, cause I got my white one too early!

"Damn Elite 4, with your ridiculously strong attacks and stuff!" she cursed, then stopped and held the GBA up. "Anywho, I have a massage from... uh, whoever!"

Bowletta's angry, yet still ugly form appeared off the GBA as a hologram!

"Damn it! It's message, not massage!" she roared angrily.

"Whatever," Lady Luna said, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," the hunk of strangeness continued... "I want the WhatStar! Get it ASAP and bring to...eh... my secret hideout of the secretness, which will be kept a secret until I see you have the WhatStar! EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

The hologram stopped and Lady Luna began playing again, cussing out the random evil level 2 Mankeys!

"Well, it looks like a challenge!" Peasley said! "I bet 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 coins that I will get the WhatStar first!"

Chuigi jumped up and said, 'Oh yeah!', imitating Luigi in almost every way humanly possible! Then Peasley began poking his little yellow ass with his sword repetitively until someone pushed the A button! And that, my friend took a VERY long time!

5 hours later, someone finally pushed the accursed A button and Peasley stopped whatever the hell he was doing, with Chuigi looking very pleased, but in the worst way imaginable!

"WOAH! IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, I'D SAY I'M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE, BUT I DO, SO I GUESS I STILL AM!" Chuigi shouted, like he had just realized something!

"If you ever do anything like that again, I WILL kill you!" Pikario threatened, only because of the outlandish time period and not of the strange antics!

"Well, anyway!" Queen Where FINALLY said, since she was asleep during the whole thing, "Take this map of the WhatStar pieces locations, blah blah blah, go to Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley first, because just because and do whatever ever the hell you want after that! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" So, she threw them to Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley with her Vine Whip and everyone ate bacon!

**(TO BE CONTINUED!)

* * *

**

**_Authoress' Notes:_** _R&R! And if anyone wants a pic of Pikario & Chuigi, just mail me! BTW, that was me saying all silly stuff in between like 'Then, the other Umbreon not on the side of evil came in with a PINK GBA that I still want, cause I got my white one too early!' I hope I did a good job! Toodles! (Runs to Wal-Mart to get Fire Red/Leaf Green Versions)_


	10. WhatStar Search Part 1: Off to the Tropi...

Authoress' Notes: Bleh, here is another wacky chapter off of the wacky game, so here! There may be a new story coming soon...

* * *

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poke Star Saga! **_

**_Chapter 10:_** **_WhatStar Search Part 1: Off to the Tropics!_**

* * *

Leaving off from last time, Pikario & Chuigi were walking through Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley, coughing up sand and shit! 

Chuigi kicked things off by saying something! "Hey, look at that giant ship over there!"

Pikario shook his head. "The sand must've made you insane...ER! There's no ship in a desert!"

But Pikario soon found he was wrong because he, like, crashed into the boat's front, breaking his nose!

"SHIT!" he cussed. Chuigi squinted at the sparkly thing on the dock.

"Look!" he pointed. "I think that's the WhatStar!" Pikario frowned.

"Great! Go get it!" For no apparent reason, he drop-kicked Chuigi onto the ship, but his aim was a little off, so Chuigi went soaring into the air!

"..." Pikario looked on in annoyance as two little Cubones came out onto the deck! They both looked pretty pissed!

Cubone #1 picked up the WhatStar piece. "What the fuck is this?!"

"I dunno, but it broke the hull, and that cost me MONEY! **MONEY, I TELL YOU!"** Cubone #2 screamed.

"Well, it's shiny and shiny means money, so I'm taking it!" Cubone #1 declared. And the two ran back inside, just as Chuigi landed on the ship, making a big dent in the floor. Pikario was somehow already onboard, so he walked inside!

Beleive it or not, the entire place was a bar! Full of Cubones and cargo and Whyhola Cola that Chuigi found to be lacking in taste!

Walking up to the nearest Cubone, Pikario grabbed his skull! "WHERE'S THE DAMN STAR PIECE?!" he demanded.

Cubone #3 pointed in a random direction. "The sparkly thing that was worth a lot of money went down there! And why do we need it, you ask?! Well, we live in the damn desert! We're broke! We need money! We need food! **WE NEED PORNOGRAPHIC MAGAZINES!"**

Pikario slapped the Cubone. "SILENCE!"

Then he left to go downstairs, but not after Chuigi slapped the Cubone as well, told him he needed help, and slipped him a Playboy magazine.

Downstairs, there was an evil... **DDR CONTEST BEING HELD AND PIKARIO COULDN'T DANCE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

To make this scene even more freaky, a Cacnea ran out the door, proclaiming, "NO! I CAN'T TAKE IT! MY LEGS WON'T WORK!"

Cubone #4 walked out and sweatdropped. "Well, there goes another one..." he sighed.

Chuigi perked his ears up and smiled! "Hey! Since I'm a Pikachu now, I've got longer legs! And I've always been a great dancer! Ain't that right, Piakio?" he gloated.

"Bite my furry, little ass!" he barked. "Just go dance and win so we can get on with this shit!"

Annoyed, Chuigi walked up to Cubone #4. "I want to dance!"

"You can't do that," Cubone #4 said, in a monotone voice. And this made Chuigi mad.

"What?! Why?!"

"First, you have to talk to some other Cubone so he can tell you that you have to win a membership card from doing this, but I'm not supposed to tell you that because that's his job, but since I already told you, you might as well go ahead in, but I warn you, our DDR machine is tough!" the Cubone said.

Chuigi shrugged. "Whatever."

So he went in as Pikario purposely tripped a Cubone stripper, making her spill martinis all over the place!

In the DDR room, there were DDR machines all over the place (with the occasional Cubone stripper) and all sorts of Pokemon playing! And they were all losing...badly! Shroomishes, random Koopa Troopas from Bowser's ship, Ivysaurs, Cacneas, other Cubones, and for some reason, even Bubbles the Minun he and Pikario met in Whyhola Woods was getting his groove on, but that doesn't mean he was winning!

Chuigi got on an empty one and got ready for ACTION! But what he didn't realize was that this paticular machine was broken, so he kept his right foot on the right panel for 2 minutes, even though all the arrows were flashing, and he won! Afterwards, he slapped a Cubone stripper, got a six-pack of root beer, and threw a Nintendo DS at a Koopa Troopa.

Outisde, Pikario knocked out yet ANOTHER Cubone stripper and took her money just as Chuigi walked out with a membership card he somehow obtained. Upon seeing the six-pack, he got mad.

"Did you do some work or did you get drunk?!" Pikario growled.

"Both," Chuigi replied, cooly.

Pikario calmed down. "OK, then."

After getting lost, falling down some stairs, and knocking out 17 strippers, Pikario & Chuigi finally made it to the captian's room!

When they entered, the Marowak captain waved his Bone Club around and shushed them. "SHUT UP! SILENCE! I'M TRYING TO WATCH 'ONE PIECE'"!

Chuigi got mad at the FOXBOX!

Pikario got mad at the FOXBOX!

Kirby is right here...on the FOXBOX!

Captian Marowak got mad at the ridiculously short Kirby commercials... ON THE FOXBOX!

Just then, the Red and Blue Oho Jees jumped out of the suitcase and they ran off together because they were afraid of what was... ON THE FOXBOX!

So, everyone, excluding the Captain ran away from the FOXBOX and their stupid Kirby Triple Play Sweepstakes that the authoress entered and did not win, even thought she got the right anwsers and DREW the Kirbies for them _**AND SHADED THEM!**_

Anyway, Pikario & Chuigi killed 2 more strippers before catching the Oho Jees and safely putting them back in their suitcase! By this time, they had gotten to the room with the WhatStar piece, so they went in!

Cubone #1 and #2 were over in a corner with the WhatStar piece and a big, drunk, dumb-looking Snorlax stuck in the wall! Chuigi sweatdropped and Pikario grabbed the WhatStar. Cubone #2 ran over to him.

"What's wrong with you?! Put that down! We need the money so can buy dynamite and get this guy's ass outta the wall!!" he explained.

Pikario gave him the one-fingered salute as Chuigi pulled a stick of dynamite from his hat and walked over to the Snorlax!

"BURP! WAY DOWN UPON THE SWANEE RIVER, FAR FAR AWAY!!!" the intoxicated Snorlax sang.

"Shut up, Bloat!" Cubone #1 kicked Bloat in the side, not doing anything but getting his foot caught in his fat rolls.

Chuigi shook his head. "That's not how you deal with fat people! Trust me, I live with one!" he referred toPikario, who was now engaged in a heated battle of whether Kids' WB or the FoxBox was worse with Cubone #2!

Cubone #1 spat profanities, so Chuigi calmly walked over to Pikario and held out the dynamite stick. A few seconds later, one Pikario's Firebrand attacks missed Cubone #2 and hit the fuse and lit it. Still calm, Chuigi put the stick under Bloat and just stood there, smirking! This made Cubone #1 freak out.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! THAT THING'S GONNA BLOW! RUN!!!!!!!!!!" Cubone #1 tried to get away, but his foot was still stuck in Bloat!

The thing went off and amazingly, no one was hurt! Bloat started laughing.

"HAR HAR! I JUST SAVED A TON OF MONEY BY SWITCHING TO GEICO!" he bellowed, unstuck from the wall.

Chuigi sweatdropped as Kirby danced by for no apparent reason! Suddenly, a whole shitload of sand came pouring out of the wall and everyone was swept away!

In Captain Marowak's room, the whole place started shaking, right in the middle of a perfectly strange episode of 'Shaman King'!

"Now what?!" he demanded.

Cubone #3 ran in, scared. "Captian! The ship! It's, like, moving and stuff!"

"I knew that, ya dimwit!" the captain shouted, throwing a martini at Cubone #3.

Outside, Pikario & Chuigi had somehow gotten back on deck as the whole thing sailed out to sea! YAY!

Pikario frowned up. "Dammit, where is this ship going?!"

Chuigi didn't answer; he was too busy vomitting over the side.

Cubone #1 hopped up and down. "WE'RE GONNA CRASH!!!!"

Pikario got mad again! "QIUCK, SOMEONE STEER THIS THING!!!"

But it was too late! The ship ran straight into a conviently placed iceberg!

"WEE-OOOH! WEE-OOOH! WE'RE GOING DOWN!" Cubone #1 screeched, still bouncing up and down.

"Not ME!" Pikario said, grabbing a sick Chuigi.

Just as the water got up to his feet, Pikario jumped onto Bloat, along with a few other members of the Cubone crew, some strippers, the captain, and the large random assortment Chuigi saw downstairs! How they all fit onto Bloat is anyone's guess!

Cubone #3 got mad. "Hey, you're the captian! You're supposed to go down with the ship!" he pointed out to Captain Marowak, who also got mad.

"WELL, I'M THE CAPTIAN OF_ THIS _SHIP, NOW!!!!" he slapped Cubone #3 with his Bone Club.

5 minutes later, Bloat docked on a sandy beach so he could get some coconuts to eat! Everyone else got off and went their seprate ways, except for the strippers, who joined Bloat on his search for coconuts! Female Cubones don't have boobs, so yeah!

"Oh, shit! The WhatStar piece!" Chuigi just realized.

"DUMBASS!" Pikario smacked him in the back of the head.

Just then, Kirby and the WhatStar piece flew overhead and landed somewhere on the beach! Go, Kirby! He saved the WhatStar piece!

"Come on!" Pikario followed Kirby, not looking where he was going and ran straight into the lobby of Gigi and Merri, breaking his nose a second time!

_**"OW, MY GODDAMN NOSE!"**_ Pikario stumbled around and sat down in a red armchair, rubbing his bloody nose all over the cushion, thinking no one would notice!

Chuigi chuckled and sat down in a nearby green armchair. Suddenly, two Tentacruels floated down from the roof!

"I'm HOUDINI!!!!!" the one with red bows on it tentacles shouted.

"Ow, damn it!" the other one with green bows yelped, falling on the ground.

"Who are you?!" Pikario demanded, clutching his bloody nose.

"I'm Gigi!" the green-bowed Tentacruel said.

"I'm Merri, but only because it's my name!" the red-bow Tentacruel grumbled.

"Looks like you have a bloody nose there!" Gigi informed Pikario.

"No, duh!" he grumbled.

Gigi waved her tentacles and Pikario's nose was fixed!

Merri sweatdropped. "You're not supposed to do that..."

Gigi smiled. "I'm also not supposed to do this!"

Waving her tentacles, Pikario & Chuigi somehow learned to move boulders by bumping into them and rotate giant, unnatural tubes with Thunder! This made Pikario & Chuigi very happy, so they left!

Gigi smiled. "Our job is done!"

Merri sweatdropped. "_Your_ job is done. I didn't get to do anythng!"

Somehow or another, Pikario & Chuigi warped to another part of the island that was full of Jynxes!

"So, like, Launa said, 'Oh no! We're all out of condoms!' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Jynx #1 blurted out.

"Um, Debbie, I thought we were talking about how Hermie found that WhatStar and that he and Kirby were playing video games together!" Jynx #2 wondered.

"Shut up, Mya! I like condoms!" Debbie spat.

"And I, Rosanna, like being a transexual!" Jynx #3 interjected! Debbie and Mya sweatdropped.

"Hey, it's all Hermie's fault!" Chuigi concluded!

"We have to beat him at Pokemon Colossuem!" Pikario shouted, as they all suddenly warpped to Hermie and Kirby's location! Upon seeing 3 weird Jynx, a fat Pikachu and a confused Pikachu, he was outraged!

"WHO DARES INTERUPT MY RARE EXPERIENCE WITH THE GREAT KIRBY?!" the Slowbro shouted.

"Hey, Hermie's a Slowbro!" Chuigi informed the somewhat confused audience!

"Damn straight! And it's Hermie **III**! My dad and his dad had this name, too! Now behold! My shell is dressed up like a Christmas tree, just in time for the holidays!" Hermie IIIgloated.

Kirby waved his GBA at Pikario. "Hey guys! The WhatStar piece is up there!" He pointed to the top of Hermie III's 'Christmas tree'. "I was trying to ride it, but the damn thing didn't work, so I crashed!"

"Oh yeah!" Hermie III took down the WhatStar piece! "I don't need this piece of junk anyomore, since I won Kirby's Warp Star! So, take it!"

Pikario grabbed the piece and sweatdropped. "I was expecting a battle, but oh, well!"

So, with their job done, Pikario and Chuigi left the tropics to go get drunk until the next chapter!

**_Authoeress' Notes:_** OK, so it was a little rushed! I'm in big hurry, so that's kinda why. It went a little off-track after the ship sank, mostly because I hate being underwater in the game! It's slow! Plus, how the heck can they breathe?! Well, that's it and expect Kirby to pop up more and more often! Bye!


	11. WhatStar Search Part 2: Yoshi's Evil Mov

_**Authoress' Notes:** Gah, I'm super-lazy right now, but lemme does this sose I can keep a good thing going. Chapter 11 starts now!_

* * *

_**Pikario and Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 11:** WhatStar Search Part 2: Yoshi's Evil Movies of DOOM!_

* * *

Now, that they were back in the mainland of the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom, Pikario and Chuigi continued onto their next WhatStar piece! 

Pikario walked along, looking at the map! "Hmm... according to this map of shit, the next WhatStar piece is... at a theater?"

Chuigi sweatdropped. "What the fuck?"

"Eh," Pikario shurgged. "I knew this map was full of shit..."

"Let's just go there anyway," Chuigi suggested. "They might have porn or something!"

Pikario smiled! He was in a good mood for porn! "Ok, then!"

So they, like, went to the theater place, but a big, dumb Blastoise was blocking the way!

"Duh! I dunno wut I'm doin' here, but damn it, you can't knock me down!" he shouted.

**"GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY!"** Pikario set Chuigi's ass on fire, causing him to run into the Blastiose and knock it over!

The Blastiose sat up! "Aw, damn! That's it! I'm going to relieve my pain by watching an R-rated movie!" he stated, running off into the movie place!

Chuigi looked around. "Sweetage!"

"You!" A Raticate ran up and pointed at Pikario. "Bastards!"

Pikario got mad! "What the hell?'! Fuck off, rat!"

The Raticate ran over to a Plusle in a Yoshi Egg suit! "You see?'! Foreigners and their fowl language! **YOU MUST KILL THEM NOW!"**

**"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"** the Plusle shouted, running into the Raticate with his Yoshi egg thing!

"Hey!" Pikario noticed. "You look like that Minun guy named Bubbles we saw!"

The Plusle perked up. "Eh? Bubbles? What the hell is he still doing here? I thought he committed suicide..."

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Well, obviously, he didn't..."

"Well," the Plusle scoffed, "I'm busy now, so don't interupt me!"

Pikario slammed his foot down! "Damn it! Wait! We need to use that shiny star piece thing that's conviently placed in your stupid-ass sign!"

"Eh? YOU command the Great Boddle?'!" the Plusle boomed!

Chuigi shurugged. "What the hell kind of name is Boddle?"

**"SILLLLLLLLLLLLENCE!"** Boddle roared, for no apparent reason!

Just then, the Raticate sat up! "See?'! I told you those guys were up to no good!"

**"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"** Boddle ran into the Raticate _AGAIN,_ knocking him out, _AGAIN!_

Pikario cocked an eyebrow. "So... we're just gonna take the WhatStar piece, because I'm very horny and I need pleasure..."

"Pleasure? Pleasure?'! **PLEASURE?'!** Well, what the hell do you think _I'M _doing?'! This whole theather is in honor of the Yoshies of the world! If anybody's gonna get any pleasure, it's them!" Boddle lectured.

"Who gives a fuck about the Yoshies? They're all a bunch of dumbasses, anyway..." Pikario said, rolling his eyes!

**"THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT!"** Boddle roared, for good reason! "Yoshies are fun, happy, loving, sweet, and **NICE!"**

Pikario sighed. "That's why they're all dumbasses."

Boddle was pissed, but spoke normally. "Look, if you want this star thingy, then bring me the 7 RaInBoW EgGs!"

Pikario groaned in frustration. "FINE!"

So, he and Chuigi went inside the theater, seeing all the cute and happy Yoshies! Yay!

"Look what's playing!" Chuigi called out, looking at the poster in the lobby!

Pikario squinted at the flyer and read it:

_Hot Women! Hotter Babes! And Dumb Poeple!_

_**Buck Wild Baby 2!**_

_It Will Totally Pwn You and Your Ballz!_

_**Rated XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!**_

_**NOW PLAYING!**_

**_Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!_**

"HEY! That's just what I need!" Pikacrio exclaimed, running into the main room! But he was soon stopped by a tickettaker Yoshi!

"Hi, there!" the Yoshi said. "Please present your ticket!"

"Screw you!" Pikario grunted, annoyed.

"Drop dead!" the Yoshi said!

Pikario sneered. "Fuck off!"

"Bite me," the Yoshi said, flipping Pikario off!

Chuigi sweatdropped. Apparently, these Yoshies were a lot meaner and not so nice like Boddle said they were! Leaving Pikario in a battle of insults with the Yoshi, Chuigi went into the movie room, unnoticed! He got a seat behind, you guessed it... **YOSHIES!** Sometime later, Pikario came in, griping.

"What happened?" Chuigi asked, stealing some popcorn from a naive Yoshi!

"Damn Yoshies," Pikario mumbled. "It was a big fight, but I think I killed him with the suitcase..." he brought out a **VERY** bloody suitcase!

Chuigi shook his head. "You're going to hell for that..."

Pikario stretched out in his seat. "I don't care..."

_DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The light went out! The movie's starting!_

_"Pass me some popcorn..."_

_"I'm so exicited!"_

_"Where's my GBA?'!"_

_"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"_

_"Sorry..."_

_On the movie screen, a very familiar figure ran through a jungle, panting and sweating!_

"I think I know that guy..." Pikario mused.

_"Shut UP!"_ Chuigi whispered loudly, throwing the popcorn at Piakrio.

_As the figure ran, he was followed by a another person, then... _

**_YOSHI'S JURASSIC PARK!_**

_...appeared on the screen!_

Pikario was outraged! **"What?'! 'Yoshi's Jurassic Park'?'!"**

Pikario stood up and shouted, getting a lot of '_Shhhhhhhhhhhh!'_es from Yoshies around him!

"Shut up, Pikario!" Chuigi groaned. "I love this movie, so hold yourself until later!"

Pikario pouted. "That's easy for you to say; you're still a virgin!"

Upon hearing this, Chuigi coughed on a popcorn... **THING!**

Again, this a lot of '_Shhhhhhhhhhhh!'_es from Yoshies around him!

Throwing himself over his chair, to hemlich himself and falling into a Yoshi's lap, Chuigi managed to spit out the popcorn thing and a nearby Yoshi ate it! _**HUZZAH!**_

Getting back in his seat, Chuigi glared at his brother. "I hate you."

"Suck it," Pikario retorted.

_And so, the figures in the movie turned out to be none other than... **MARIO AND LUIGI! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!** And they were being chased by giant, evil Yoshies with teeth!_

Pikario was amazed! **"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" **He pointed out, once again, getting a lot of _'Shhhhhhhhhhh'_es from the nearby Yoshies!

"Luigi!" Mario called, hiding behind a tree. "We've-a gotta do it now, or we'll never get off this island alive-a!"

"Ok, then..." Luigi grunted, taking a Bob-omb out of his pants. "TAKE-A THIS!" he threw the bomb at the evil Yoshies, blowing their heads clean off! Blood splattered everywhere!

Yes!" Mario cheered, jumping up and down!

_Luigi smiled, but then..._ _**he saw Bowser behind Mario with a gun!**_

_**"Mario! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"** _Luigi went in slow motion!

_Scene change! Mario, Luigi, and Bowser were dressed like they were in the Matrix!_

_Luigi pushed Mario out of the way, then bent back and dodged all the bullets in_ _**SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW- MOTION!**_

_Then the title..._

**_The Marioix!_**

_...came on the screen!_

In the crowd, everyone sweatdropped!

_Luigi ran over to a tree in **SLOW MOTION** and did a back flip off of it, kicking Bowser in the face! Then, Mario came out of nowhere with 2 guns and jumped towards Bowser, shooting the guns and falling in **SLOW MOTION!**_

_There was a close-up on the back of the Bullet Bills Mario shot at Bowser! They got closer... and closer... and closer, then, just before they hit Bowser...! A shower curtain swooshed in front of the Koopa King and the Bullet Bills... disappeared into the steam from a hot shower?_

_Then..._

**_Psycho Plumber!_**

_...was the title!_

More sweatdrops from the audience!

_Scene change! Luigi was in the shower, humming the oh-so-familiar Mario tune and he was scrubbing his underarms with a cloth! But behind him, a shadow came up... it loomed in front of the unsuspecting Luigi... **THEN PULLED BACK THE CURTAINS!**_

Luigi turned around!_ **"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_

_The figure hit Luigi with a plunger over and over and over again! Luigi looked at the camera, horrified! Water went down the drain...! Or was it blood?'! __He grabbed onto the shower curtain and pulled it down, falling onto the floor, eyes wide open in shock! _

_Mario just stood there with the broken plunger, panting, a crazed look in his eyes... and uttered..._

"Do ya feel-a lucky, punk? Do ya?"

**_THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ENNNNNNNNNNNNND!_**

_This film has been brought to you by **NINTENDO! MWAHAHAHAHA!**_

And so, the movie was over, but the crowd just sat in silence. After a while, Chuigi whispered to Pikario.

"Man, they must've really hated it!"

Then, the crowd cheered!

Pikario and Chuigi sweatdropped.

The Yoshies were all so happy, that they laid thousands of Rainbow eggs! How fortunate! There were red ones, orange ones, yellow, green, azure, blue, and purple!

Not wasting any time, Pikario took all the eggs he could carry out to Boddle, who was pleased!

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I didn't think Rainbow eggs really even existed; I just said that so you guys would leave me the hell alone!"

"Now, give us the WhatStar!" Pikario demanded!

"Fine!" Boddle spat, throwing it at him. "I didn't even like it anyway!"

So, Boddle finished his Yoshi sign and put it up over the enterance! When the Yoshies saw it, they were so happy!

Pikario and Chuigi, on the other hand, snuck away from the so-called Yoshi Theater, never planning on coming back!

Only 2 more pieces to go...

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Like I said, I was bored, so I couldn't think of how to make Pikario and Chuigi looking for eggs all that funny. That's why I added the "Yoshi's Jurassic Park", "The Marioix", and "Psycho Plumber!" thing and made Mario and Luigi star in them!_ _Hope you liked, even though I don't think this was my best... I've been into writing CRP: TVODT lately, and I'm about to start on Chapter 2... Well, don't worry about Pikario and Chuigi's adventures, for they will continue! Next, they'll be going to that fashion designer lady, since that's where I went in my game after the Yoshi escapade. C ya soon! BTW, I think I spelled 'hemlich' wrong, lol._


	12. WhatStar Search Part 3: Harhall's All Wh...

_**Authoress' Notes:** Well, here Pikario and Chuigi for you guys. Crap, I can't believe it's been an entire month already. Ah, well. Enjoy, please.

* * *

_

**Pikario and Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**

**Chapter 12: **WhatStar Search Part 3: Harhall's All What Gender?

* * *

After the whole Yoshi bit, Pikario and Chuigi decided to take a break! Unfortunately, it was cut very short, due to the fact that Pikario just remembered that he was very horny! So, off they went! They got lost a few times, but finally ended up... somewhere in the South of the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom!

They kept going and going and going and going and going finally, they found a WhatStar piece in a cage hanging from a tree!

"Well, that was easy," Chuigi remarked as Pikario began trying to blow apart the cage!

"Damn, it's not working!" Pikario growled, setting the tree on fire! It didn't work, either!

Then, some random Pokémon ran away, screaming something about cheese on jelly! This made the Bros. curious!

Pikario freaked out! "Cheese on jelly? We must get some!"

The two ran over to find the cheese and jelly, but all they saw was a lot of water, paint all over the place, pantyhose, and the occasional pissed off Ninetales! Pikario was annoyed, too, so he asked her what was wrong!

**"WHAT'S WRONG?** **WHAT'S WRONG?** I'll tell you what's wrong, fat pig!" Harhall stomped the ground! "I can't get anyone to paint for my special designs! The Splart business will be ruined!"

Chuigi made a face. "The... what?"

**"THE SPLART BUSINESS! MY GOD, DO YOU NEED HEARING AID, OR SOMETHING?"** Harhall barked at Chuigi!

"What the hell is up with that name? Sounds like something from an NC-17 rated movie," Pikario chuckled.

"Or a wannabe R rated movie," Chuigi plainly added.

Harhall slapped Pikario! "Why the hell would you want to know? You work for me, now!"

Pikario slapped Harhall back! "I never said that!"

Harhall slapped back! "Yes, you did, bitch!"

**SLAP!** "No, I didn't, whore!"

**SLAP!** "Yes, you did, freak!"

**SLAP!** "No, I didn't, bastard!"

**SLAP! **"Yes, you did, you son of a bitch!"

**SLAP!** "No, I didn't, homo!"

Harhall put a stop to all the slapping! **"HOMO?** I'm not gay!"

Pikario sneered. "You sure look it..."

Harhall pulled out a can of whoop-ass on Pikario and he was totally pwned like never before! Chuigi just shrugged.

"Now, if you cheap bastards want that shiny thing in the tree that you just rudely blew up, then you gotta work for it!" Harhall demanded, triumphant over Pikario.

"Fine, whatever, lady..." Chuigi sighed. This made Harhall mad!

"Damn it! **I'M A GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUY!"** Harhall shouted, also pulling out a can of whoop-ass on Chuigi!

* * *

_Sometime later, after a ridiculously long fight involving pigs and broken computer screens..._

"Ok," Harhall sighed, rubbing his chin. "do you understand what you're supposed to do now?"

Pikario looked up! "What? Sorry, no. I was daydreaming about sex with Peach. Can you say that again?"

Harhall burnt Pikario with a flaming Flamethrower, all the while shouting **"LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEE!"**

Chuigi perked up! "What? Huh? Oh, yeah! Right, Peasley's not here..."

Harhall fumed, realising that Chuigi was probably daydreaming just like Pikario! Nonetheless, he continued his insturctions!

"Listen up! I'll say this one more time and if you don't get it this time, I shall fling at you my **PANTYHOSE OF DOOM!"**Harhall stomped her foor and 3 Bob-omb colored things came out of some pipes!

"..." Chuigi sweatdropped.

"How are those things flying?" Pikario stupidly asked!

**"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"** Harhall barked! "Now, Mr. Green, you hit Pikario over the head with a dangerously large object and make him spit out the nasty, icky poo water flowing out of this bilge pump right here!"

Chuigi was confused! "**WHAT?** A dangerously large object? Pikario, we don't have one of those! All we have are Hammers, but those couldn't possibly work, even though they **ARE** dangerously large objects!"

Pikario stared at Chuigi, then slapped him!

"You get the color of the Bob-omb you hit on those lovely lingrie dresses and condoms over there! They need some coloring, the poor dears!" Harhall said.

"Who the hell who care about the color of a condom? Do you even know what they're used for?" Pikario asked, sweatdropping.

"Besides, 'lingrie' isn't even a word! It's **_lingerie_**!" Chuigi pointed out! "What the hell are you trying to do?"

**"SILENCE! IT'S MY CLOTHING LINE AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, BECAUSE IT'S ALL MINEEEE!"** Harhall shouted, scaring the Bob-omb thingies!

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Hey, whatever floats your boat..."

Pikario went over to the bilge pump thingy and turned it to face the Bob-omb thingies! He squirted the Blue one and got a Blue condom! Yay!

Harhall angrily jumped up and down! **"NOT YET! NOT YET! I DIDN'T SAY 'GO!' YET! YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!"**

Pikario ignored Harhall and continued squirting the Bob-omb thingies! He ended up getting Sky Blue, Rainbow, Orange, Green, Yellow, Red, Pink, Purple, Brown, Black, Gray, and Plaid colored condoms and lingerie with stars on them!**_ And everybody loves stars!_**

Harhall stopped rampaging and took a closer look at Pikario's work! "Hmmm... you know, I think this stuff just might sell! I mean, it's not what I wanted in the first place, but I think it's even better than I'd ever imagined!"

Pikario stopped squirting! "So, do we get the WhatStar piece now?"

**"NO! YOU HAVE TO DO THE CONDOMS NOW!"** Harhall threw some pantyhose at Pikario, but he threw it back at her!

**"ARE YOU _BLIND?_ I ALREADY DID THE CONDOMS!"** he protested!

Harhall sweatdropped! "Oh...yeah, well... you did! Okay, then! So, I guess you want the WhatStar piece now?"

Pikario pulled on his ears, gritting his teeth! "**NO, YA _THINK?"_**

"Okay, okay! Fine!" Harhall went over and unlocked the cage the WhatStar was in! "But don't you guys dare and forget about little old me, okay? After this stuff sells, I'll probably need more orders, so come back and paint for me some more sometime! I might even give you beer!"

"What the fuck? I'm not **_EVER_** coming to place of damnedination!" Pikario spat! "I only did this shit because I want sex with the girl I'm trying to save! **THAT'S ALL!"**

"Is 'damnedination' even a real word..." Chuigi wondered!

Pikario kicked him in the head! "Shut up!"

Only 1 more piece to go, then the **_REAL SHIT_** begins! **_MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_**

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Hmmm... I'm still a little confused about Harhall... Someone once said he was a guy! I could've sworn he was a girl! He looks one, anyway... Ah, well. He's a shemale in this fic, lol. I'm surprised I managed to work that entire Splart thing into one Chapter. It was the easiest thing to do in the game, so I figured I'd have a lot of improvising to do. But everything came out good with no improvising and lots of chaos; just how I like it!_


	13. WhatStar Search Part 4: Popple Gets Bust...

_**Authoress' Notes:** Hooray for me on this story! At the rate I'm at, the entire thing might be finished around August! Woo hoo..._

* * *

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 13:** WhatStar Search Part 4: Popple Gets Busted!__

* * *

_

_After checking the map, Pikario & Chuigi found out that the next WhatStar piece was back in the Whyhola place... thingy! And they had to go get it! OH NO!_

Getting to the maze part, Pikario glared at Chuigi! "Don't get your ass drunk this time, or I'll kill you!"

"Shut up! This stuff's not as tasty as booze anyway! I didn't even have a hangover!" Chuigi whined, earning a slap in the back of the head from Pikario!

_Yes, well, anyway! They went through the maze, only getting lost about 100 times! Wow! How lucky! Then they got outside and got lost again about 5,849,504 times! So much for their good luck streak... Anyway, they did some stuff and found out there was some Colosseum run by a bunch of slugs! What the hell?_

"Winkle Colosseum..." one Slugma said outloud.

"We will win..." a nearby Magcargo added.

"I like cheese..." Chuigi also interjected, in the same zombified tone!

Hearing this, Pikario slapped him! "Shut up!"

"You enter Colosseum?" a Slugma asked. "It's 500 coins to enter our Colosseum. Wanna pay it, or what?"

"Why the hell would I want to enter a _Colosseum_ run by _slugs_ and_ pay_ for it?" Pikario vented.

"I dunno, it's your money," the Slugma behind the desk anwsered.

"What do we have to do and what do we get if we do it?" Chuigi asked.

"You have to blow up some rock things and if you do that, then you get a year's supply of beer," it said.

Pikario slammed the money down on the counter! **_"I'M IN!"_****_

* * *

_**

_Sometime later, Pikario & Chuigi found themselves in the Winkle Colosseum, blowing up rocks and stuff! They used dynamite, guns, random Voltorbs, and sometimes each other to get the job done! And it was fun, too! Okay, well, not really... But they did get the year's supply of beer and left with it! Don't ask me how; they just did!_

Turning to leave the area, Pikario noticed something! "Wait! The WhatStar! We didn't get it!"

Chuigi frowned. "The WhatStar is here?"

Pikario slapped him!

_So, the two turned right back around and began to search high and low for the WhatStar piece! Pikario was just about to go berserk when he saw Popple trying to reach the WhatStar on top of a Magcargo statue with a stick!_

"Why does the fucking rock just have to fucking land on the only fucking Magcargo statue in the whole fucking area? I don't fucking see any other fucking statues around here and this fucking stick is too fucking short!" Popple cursed, slamming the twig down in a rage!

"Dude, you have some issues..." Chuigi pointed out.

"Hey, that's out WhatStar piece!" Pikario shouted at Popple.

"Well, it's mine now!" Popple declared, hitting the Magcargo statue and making the piece fall into his paws! With the WhatStar piece, he began to run away, but Pikario stopped him!

"Look, man! That thing equals me having sex, so you're handing it over now!" he demanded.

"NEVER!" Popple bellowed, running the other way! This time, he was stopped by Chuigi!

"Come on, dude! I want to go back home as soon as possible, but Pikario won't go anywhere until we get Peach back, so give us the damn WhatStar piece!" Chuigi said!

"NO WAY!" Popple ran back and forth until he was trapped between the wall and the two Pikachu brothers!

Popple was outraged. "Oh, yeah! That's real fair! Since when do the good guys team up and ambush the bad guy?"

"Since NOW!" Pikario charged into battle with his brother and the Meowth guy!

**_Battle Mode Start! We Will Never Forget the Star Thingy!_**

Popple groaned in annoyance! "GAH! Why won't you guys just leave me the hell alone? What did I ever do to you?"

"You fought us, like, twice before!" Chuigi retorted!

"That's only because you started it!" Popple shouted back!

Pikario sweatdropped. "Um..."

"Dude's got a point; we did start it," Chuigi whispered.

Pikario kicked his idiotic brother in the back of his head! **_"WHO CARES WHO STARTED IT? I'M FINISHING IT!"_**

Popple got his evil bag of stuff! "Here! Take this!" He started throwing beer, Mushrooms, Game Boy Advances, and rubber chickens at Pikario & Chuigi!

Chuigi caught several bottles of beer and some Mushrooms! "What the hell? Why are you throwing this stuff at us?"

"Damn it! That's the wrong bag!" Popple growled! Irritated, he threw his bag away!

_Pikario used a Firebrand Attack on Popple!_

"OW! Hey, that's not fair! I wasn't ready!" Popple complained!

"Shut up!" Chuigi threw a broken beer bottle at Popple!

"That's not even an attack! You guys are cheating so much, it's not even funny!" Popple bounced up and down angrily!

_Pikario used Super Strong Attack Thingy That Does Like 9,789,574,589,894,895,748 Damage And Isn't Really Even An Attack But A Poor Excuse To End The Battle Quickly And Get Rid Of Popple And Stuff!_

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

**_Battle Mode Complete! Popple is no more! ...well, not really..._**

Popple dropped the WhatStar piece in a fit and ran away! "Damn it! Damn you two all the way to hell! First you pick a fight with me, then you make me lose Rookie, and now you ambush me for no reason? Take your stupid Star Piece thingy! I'm leaving this place once and for all, **_SO THERE!"_**

Chuigi turned to his older brother. "Wow, Pikario. I didn't know you use a move like that!"

"It's not a move, dumbass! Just a deseprate measure! You know that!" Pikario punched Chuigi on the head!

**_WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO! WE GOT THE FINAL WHATSTAR PIECE! NOW WE CAN GET ON WITH OUR LIVES!_****_

* * *

_**

_Sometime later, Pikario & Chuigi returned to the Castle with all 4 WhatStar pieces and they put them together and got the WhatStar back! It's about time, too! But as soon as they did, Lady Luna came in!_

"Sorry to interrupt, but I got another massage from that crazy Bowletta lady," she announced, holding her brand new Nintendo DS up!

Bowletta's irritated projection came up! "For the last time, you idiot! It's **_'MESSAGE'_**, not **_'MASSAGE'_**!"

Lady Luna yawned. "Have you ever come to the conclusion that I don't give a damn?"

"Whatever... Anyway, Eeyah heh heh heh heh heh heh! You have the WhatStar now, so bring it to me like I said before!" she commanded.

"But we don't even know where you are! You never told us!" Chuigi said.

Bowletta laughed! "Eeyah heh heh heh heh heh heh... eh? Oh, yeah... I'm at my Secret Hideout of the Secretness, Which Will Be Kept a Secret Until I See You Have the WhatStar! **EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"**

"We already have the WhatStar!" Pikario barked.

**"WELL, I THINK JOKE'S END IS A STUPID NAME, SO IT WILL BE CALLED THIS NOW!"** Bowletta roared.

_And with that, her message was cut off and Lady Luna went back to playing some random game on the DS!_

Queen Where sweatdropped. "Well, it's really called Sex's End, but whatever..."

"Sex's End?" Chuigi asked.

"It's awful, awful place that's become an icy wasteland because no one has ever had sex there!" Lady Luna informed him.

"That wouldn't stop me..." Toadsworth rudely added!

"That's awful!" Pikario frowned! "I mean the Sex's End thing, not Toadsworth."

Then, Peasley decided to walk up. "You two can't give her the real thing, so I made a fake one! Give her this and save Peach! "

"Is that where you've been all this time?" Chuigi sweatdropped.

Peasley ignored Chuigi's question! "Well, you guys be me to the punch, so here are your 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 coins!"

"Hell yeah!" Pikario took all the coins!

Lady Luna looked at a calculator. "That's nice and all, but those coins are only worth 9 cents here in the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom!"

"So? When we get home, we'll be rich!" Pikario & Chuigi said, leaving the castle and going to Sex's End!

"You think they'll really be able to save the princess?" Luna asked Toadsworth.

"Not a chance in hell." Toadsworth shook his head. "Now let's go have sex."

"Okay. It's been a real dry spell with you lately..." Lady Luna agreed.

"I'm 89 years old! I'm going to be lacking in this sometimes!" Toadsworth said, as they went into a back room!

Queen Where sighed. "Am I the only one around here who doesn't think about sex all the time?"

Peasley was shocked! "Mother, I don'tsupposeyouthink I dream of sexual relationships? Certainly not!"

Queen Where narrowed her eyes. "Peasley, I'm your mother; I know these sort of things. Do you _**have**_ to have a relationship with Chuigi? He's **_not female_**, you know? Are you gay?"

Peasley was outraged! "Such nonsense! Oh, I shan't return to the Castle until you recall those dreadful words, Mother!" With that, he left on his Bean Pillow Thingy!

"...I'm starting to think I should retire this..." Queen Where mused.

* * *

_Elsewhere, Pikario & Chuigi had searched all over the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom, but they could never find asuccessful way of getting to Sex's End that didn't involve getting eaten by Sharpedos or Wailords! Eventually, they found the Hammerhead Bros. again!_

Sledge instantly got pissed! "Again?"

"We already gave you guys _**TWO**_ Hammers!" Hammer moaned.

Sledge leaned over to his brother. "Maybe if we give them the Ultra Hammers, they won't come back!"

"Good idea, but if this doesn't work, we're moving!" Hammer mumbled.

_So, the Hammerhead Bros. made Pikario & Chuigi Ultra Hammers that were very shiny and golden! As an added bonus for them to go away, Sledge gave them the Secret Scroll 2, allowing them to use even more __unauthorized moves in battle and a pizza! Now, Pikario & Chuigi were back at the beach, trying to figure out how the hell they could get to Sex's End!_

"You know, you can jam the green guy in that slot thing in the ground and he'll turn into a surfboard," a random Clampearl informed Pikario.

Pikario perked up! "That's just dumb enough to work!"

_Pikario pushed Chuigi onto the slot thing and hammered him into the ground! Just like the Clampearl said, Chuigi came out as a surfboard!_

"If this isn't totally fucked up, I don't know what is..." Chuigi said, as a surfboard!

Pikario got on him and ran into the water! "Shut up and surf!"

_So, Pikario & Chuigi stupidly made their way to Sex's End, the coldest place in the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom! It was also the place where Peach was being held, and if Pikario saved her, then everybody could finally go home and eat hot dogs, not that I like them or anything!_

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes: **Yay! Thank god that WhatStar saga thing is done with. Now, on to the most annoying part of the game! Joke's End! Oh no! Next Chapter will be up either next week or the week after! Also, I know the name I made up for Joke's Endis stupid, but I couldn't think of anything else as rightfully fitting, lol._


	14. The End of Sex's End!

_**Authoress' Notes:** Gah... damn, I hate Joke's End so fucking much... The music, the looks of the place, the enemies (especially those stupid Scaratroopeas...), the boss battle... Oh, well... despite that, I'll still try and make this chapter as funny as I possibly can..._

_

* * *

_

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 14:** The End of Sex's End!_

* * *

_Upon reaching Sex's End, Pikario got off of Chuigi and stretched! Well, you try riding on your little brother as a surfboard for 3 hours straight and see how you like it!_

Still in his surfboarding form, Chuigi hopped up and down! "Dude! What about ME? Come on, man!"

Pikario grabbed Chuigi and banged him against some nearby rocks, turning him back to normal! **"THERE! HAPPY?"**

"Oh, yeah! If I have a concussion, that means I'm feeling A LOT better!" Chuigi said, with a _**ton**_ of sarcasm!

_Afterwards, the two went up the stairs to Sex's End and climbed for like, 5 fucking hours, until they finally got to the main door, but a small Smoochum blocked the way!_

"I, Jojora, command you to halt! No one enters this place, for it is the sacred home to all the virgins in the world! Are you 2 virigns?" she asked.

"Yes..." Chuigi mumbled!

Pikario kicked him! "Well, I ain't! **_HAHAHAHAHAHA!"_**

_**"THEN YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"**_ Jojora hit Pikario with her wand thingy!

_**"OW!"**_ Pikario pulled away form her! "I've got to save my girl from this evil bitch thing and you can't stop me!"

Jojora sighed. "You know, you're like, the 8,495,084,035th person today with that excuse... and I'm starting to get pissed off at it! **_LEAVE NOW OR FACE YOUR DOOM!"_**

Pikario threw her into water, where some very hungry Carvanha were waiting! "Whatever..."

* * *

_So, into Sex's End Pikario & Chuigi went! They saw a lot of really, really, **REALLY** annoying enemies, like Clumphs, Glurps, and the strangely cute Ice Snifits! YAY! But then, they just happened to come in contact with the dreaded Scaratroopeas! __**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! **It was a good thing that Chuigi was able to defeat them the evil powers of Algebra and Geometry!_ _Getting into the next room, they saw a wet and mangled Jojora on top of a **VERY** high platform!_

Jojora threw off a Carvanha hanging from her hair! "You freaks! That was a cheap shot! Just for that, I challenge you to try and get all the way up here! **_BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'LL NEVER GET PAST ALL THE ANNOYING BAD GUYS AND PUZZLES! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"_**

_Pikario & Chuigi somehow used their High Jump to get up to Jojora's level! Seeing this, she freaked out!_

Pikario kicked Jojora in the stomach!**_ "HOW YA LIKE ME NOW? MWAHAHAHAHA!"_**

Jojora ran away! _**"HA! THAT WAS JUST ONE PART OF SEX'S END! YOU'RE NOT DONE YET!"**_

* * *

_And so,** IT CONTINUED! **Pikario & Chuigi went through Sex's End, doing stupid puzzles like, hitting floating blocks to open doors, going through the ground and underneath gates, setting stuff on fire, wetting stuff with water, and **OTHER STUFF!** Anyway, they finally came to Jojora's room! It was complete with icy furniture and shit!_

Jojora walked up. "Well! Congrats on getting here, you stupid bastards! Now, sit the hell down and shut the fuck up while I make some shitty tea, or something!"

_Making weird unmakable faces, Pikario & Chuigi sat down on the ice-cold seats! How their asses stood that, I don't know!_

Pikario sighed. "Now, what?"

"Sit the hell down and shut the fuck up?" Chuigi frowned.

Pikario kicked him! "No, asshole! I mean, the WhatStar!"

Chuigi rubbed his head! _**"THE WHAT?"**_

Then, Jojora came back in! "I'm sorry, I don't have any shitty tea, so I'm inviting one of my mentally retarded friends over!"

Pikario shrugged. "Whatever!"

"So, who do you want? Red, Black, Yellow, or Brown?" Jojora asked.

Pikario threw his hands up in the air! **_"I DON'T CARE! BRING THEM ALL! WHO GIVES A FUCK?"_**

_Just then, 4 Jynx came busting into the room with different hair colors!_

"Hey, look! Jojora's come to play with us!" the one with jet-black hair shouted!

**_"GET BACK OUTSIDE, YOU BITCHES! I DIDN'T CALL YOU!" _**Jojora shouted!

Chuigi snorted! "You were right; they **_are_** mentally retarded..."

The brunette Jynx got mad! "Say what? How dare you slander our little sister?"

Jojora shook her fist! _**"I'M NOT YOUR SISTER, GODDAMN IT! I ONLY PAY YOU TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF PEOPLE!"**_

"I'm putting the smackdown on these freaks!" the redheaded Jynx said, about to punch Chuigi!

**_Battle Mode Start! What The Hell Is Up With That Hair?_**

Pikario sat up! "What's this shit? Why are you guys fighting us? We didn't do anything to you!"

**"This is my house and you came in without asking, so I'm going to kill you now!"** Jojora threatened!

"Me, too!" the blonde said!

"Me, too!" the redhead said!

"Me, too!" the jet-black said!

"Me, too!" the brunette said!

Jojora faced the 4 Jynx!**_ "SHUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!"_**

_Pikario used Thunderbolt on the brunette!_

_Chuigi hit Jojora with his Ultra Hammer and broke her wand thingy!_

"Holy shit on a stick! _**THAT HURT!"**_ Jojora turned to the Jynx! "See? **THIS** is what I pay you guys to do, so do it!" And with that, she ran away!

Red was confused! "Wait! What?"

"I think she said something about hair curlers..." Yellow whispered!

Black was happy!** "OKAY! YAY!"**

_Just then, for no apparent reason, Brown ran over to Pikario and gave him a Lovely Kiss!_

Pikario wiped it off in a rage! _**"WHAT THE FUCK? YOU STUPID, OLD BITCH! WHY'D YOU GO AND DO THAT?"**_

Yellow got mad! "That is, like, so unfair!"

"I wanna kiss the cute, little Pikachu!" Black pouted!

"I know! Let's all turn into giant snowballs for some unknown reason and try to run over them and kill them, then we can kiss them both!" Yellow suggested, like the idiot she was!

The other Jynx agreed! **"YEAH!"**

_At that time, Jojora decided to come back with a new wand thingy and was outraged at what the Jynx were doing!_

**_"WHAT THE HELL? I LEAVE FOR 2 MINUTES AND YOU GUYS GO AND TURN INTO SNOWBALLS? FUCK THIS! I'M OUTTA HERE!" _**Jojora ran away again!

Chuigi looked at Pikario. "Is it me, or are these Boss Battles just getting lamer and lamer?"

Pikario glared at the oncoming Jynx snowballs! "It's probably both..."

_The Jynx all turned into snowballs for some unknown reason and tried to run over Pikario, but he set them on fire, putting an end to their shit!_

_**Battle Mode Completed! WOW! OMG, That was, like, so totally hot!**_

_The Jynx ran away and Jojora pouted!_

_**"NO FAIR! GAME TIME IS OVER NOW AND YOU GUYS MADE ME LOSE! I'LL GET MY REVENGE, ONE DAY! I SWEAR IT!"**_ Jojora followed the Jynx and got the hell outta there!

Chuigi rolled his eyes. "What next?"

* * *

_In the next room, Chuigi's question was answered, as Fawful was playing his GBA-SP in the middle of the room, waiting for them to show up!_

"Of the what took you so longness? Be bringing the WhatStar here and of the hurt I do not to you!" he demanded!

Pikario elbowed Chuigi! "Hey, dumbass, make sure to give him the **_FAKE_** one! You know, the one that's **_NOT REAL!"_** he whispered loudly!

"Okay, sheesh!" Chuigi took the **_FAKE _**WhatStar and gave it to Fawful, who became enraged!

He bitchslapped Chuigi with his tail! **_"FOOL! I HAVE THE HEARINGNESS OF GOODNESS AND I KNOW THE TRUTHNESS OF THE WHATSTAR!"_**

_With that, Fawful took the** REAL** WhatSar and left! Pikario came up to Chuigi and smacked him!_

**_"DID I NOT JUST SAY 'GIVE HIM THE FAKE WHATSTAR!'?"_** Pikario growled!

_**"WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE GUY HAS SOME FUCKING STRONG HEARING! EVER THOUGHT OF THAT, PIKARIO?"**_ Chuigi retorted!

"Shut up! Thanks to you, now we need **ANOTHER** plan to save Peach..." Pikario stopped in mid-sentence as he spotted something in the far corner of the room!

Chuigi perked up. "What?"

"I think I know what we can do..." Pikario thought outloud!

Chuigi sweatdropped. _**"What?"**_

_Taking his hat to pick it up, Pikario found a... **DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! THUNDERSTONE!**_

**_

* * *

Outside!_**

"...and I told him, 'Look! It's either MY WAY, or THE HIGHWAY, bub!' Then, I ate him!" Bowletta told the Princess!

Peach clapped at Bowletta's story! "Oh, that was so much fun! I've never had this much fun as a captive EVER!"

The Fawful came up, playing his GBA-SP again! "Bowletta! Of the two great news I have for you! Oneness, is that I have fury upon the **EVIL** Pokémon in the Sapphire Version! Twoness, is that I have catchness on the WhatStar, so can we be doing the leavingness from the placeness of the evilness, nowness?"

"YES!" Bowletta simply said, about to take of with Peach!

Pikario ran up! "No way, man!"

Peach waved at Pikario! "Hi, Pikario! Look! I'm flying in an evil Koopa thingy of doom! **GO, ME!"**

"FEH! Puny Pikachu! You can't stop me now!" Bowletta scoffed!

Pikario smirked. "Oh, really?"

_Then, **ANOTHER** Peach walked up!_

Bowletta freaked out! _**"HOLY SHIT!"**_

Fawful went mad! _**"THIS MADNESS IS NOT OF THE FUNNYNESS TO ME!"**_

"Tee hee! Look! I have a twin! **_GO, ME AGAIN!" _**Peach giggled!

**_"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_** "Peach" laughed evily!

Pikario slapped "her"! "Don't overdo it..."

"Peach" glared at Pikario, then turned to Bowletta and Fawful! "You guys are totally freaks! You actually fell for our plan and took the _fake_ Princess? That's so totally weak!"

Bowletta glared at Peach! "Fine, then! I'll just take both!"

**_"YOU CAN'T DO THAT, BECAUSE IF YOU CHOOSE THE WRONG ONE... THEN,_** um...**_ NINTENDO WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS!"_** Pikario lied!

Bowletta dropped Peach and took "Peach"! "Nevermind that shit! I'll be taking the real one, thank you!" And she flew off, with Fawful close behind!

Pikario went up to Peach in excitement! _**"PEACH!"**_

The Princess sat up! "Hi, Pikario! Wow! I've had so much fun today! YAY!"

"Wanna go have sex?" Pikario asked!

"Okay! Yay, more fun! **_YAY!"_** Peach laughed!

_And the two did just that, breaking the ancient rule of Sex's End! This caused the whole place to melt and it drowned all the annoying enemies, except for the Ice Snifits, who migrated and now live with the Oho Jees! How they stood the heat, I don't know! **THEY JUST DID!**_

* * *

_**Meanwhile, back on Bowser's Koopa Cruiser... Thingy!**_

_**"EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! FAWFUL! WE'VE DONE IT! WE'VE FINALLY DONE IT! WE'VE CAUGHT PRINCESS PEACH!"**_ Bowletta roared happily!

"Of the happiness I am having for the joyous time of the day where became ours was Peach!" Fawful said, in some crazy unknown language!

Bowletta sweatdropped. "Yeah! That, too!"

"Peach" rolled "her" eyes. "Man, what a bunch of losers..."

Fawful turned around! "Eh? What was that?"

_"Peach" didn't say anything!_

"Peach, you're acting a little weird... Are you okay?" Bowletta asked.

_"Peach" didn't say anything!_

Now, Bowletta was suspicious!**_ "HEY, PEACH! LOOK OUT! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! OMGLOLOMGLOL!"_**

"Peach" shrugged. "So?"

"Aha! You're not Peach! If you were, then you'd say something stupid, like, 'Oh, really? Then, I should buy a puppy, because they bring sunshine and happiness to the world!', or something!" Bowletta pointed out!

"...Well... shit... Fine! I'm really Chuigi! **_BIG SURPRISE!"_** Chuigi said, sarcastically, holding up a Thunderstone!

"Damn... I have to have the admittingness! That was very smart!" Fawful said!

Chuigi took the WhatStar and ran off! "Like I give a crap..."

**_"DAMN IT! DON'T LET HIM..._** oh, nevermind; he already jumped out..." Bowletta sighed, watching Chuigi fly by the window!

"Of the whatness should we do now?" Fawful asked.

Bowletta turned the ship around! "What else? _**WE ATTACK AND GO BLOW UP SOME STUFF!"

* * *

Somewhere in the sky! **_

"Shit!" Chuigi cursed, realizing that he didn't have a parachute!

_Then, TA-DA! Peasley appeared on his flying bean thing! **THANK THE STARS!**_

"Ahahahahahahaha! I never thought I'd live to see Raichus fly! _**REAMARKABLE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**_ he laughed!

"Peasley! It's me! Look, I have the WhatStar!"Chuigi proved it by holding the thing up!

**_"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EVEN MORE REMARKABLE!_** In that case, I shall aid you in your problem!" Peasley laughed!

_He tried to catch him with his Vine Whip, but Raichus are very heavy for Bulbaasaurs, so he dropped him, falling off his bean thing as well!_

_

* * *

_

_**Somewhere in Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!**_

"Are you _**sure**_ he's going to land here?" Shroomsworth asked Pikario.

_Just then, Chuigi landed about 48,395,478,905 feet away!_

"Yeah... I'm pretty sure..." Pikario plainly said!

Peach laughed! "YAY!"

Peasley somehow landed safely behind Peach and flashed the WhatStar! "Pikario, you insane Pokémon, you! Tricking Bowletta like that was pure genius! Chuigi told me all about it while we were falling and he gave me the WhatStar, too!"

Peach looked over at Chuigi! "Hey, look! Chuigi's playing in the sand! How cute!"

_Chuigi was stuck headfirst in the dirt and then he sunk into it!_

Pikario threw his hands up! "W00T! Chuigi is dead and I had some awesome sex with Peach! Can this get any better?"

* * *

**_Down Below Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!_**

_Chuigi fell flat on his face! **KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

Popple came running out of somewhere! "What the hell?"

"Gah... damn it..." Chuigi mumbled under his breath!

"Hey! What's this Raichu doing here?" Then he noticed Chuigi's hat! "No, wait! **IT'S THAT GREEN GUY!** Then, Red must be around here somewhere! Okay, so I'll set up a trap, or something!"

* * *

**_Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!_**

"I say! Master Mario, go after Luigi! He may be hurt!" Shroomsworth said!

"Why don't you just shove it, old man?" Pikario flipped him off!

"Oh, please, Pikario? I'll give you surprise if you do!" Peach asked, winking!

Pikario stormed off! "Fine, but next time, I'm on top and **_I WANT ANAL!"_**

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes: **BTW, in case you were confused about the Jynx part, there's really only a blonde, no matter which friend you choose, and she switches to a redhead sometimes. I just threw the others in for added effect. Their names are the color of their hair, instead of crap like Teeheena and Chucklissa, etc. (Like Yellow is blonde and Brown is the brunette)_


	15. Some Like It Blast Burned and Others Lik...

_**Authoress' Notes:** It's sad, but true! Pikario & Chuigi's adventures are coming to an end! OH NO! Don't worry, though; I can still squeeze about 3 or 4 chapters out of the story, but after that, **NO MORE!

* * *

**_

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 15:** Some Like It Blast Burned and Others Like It Dipped in Marinara Sauce!

* * *

_

_So, here we are! Somewhere Down Below Thisaintabutreallyadesert Valley! Pikario was looking for his lost little brother so he could get anal sex with his girlfriend! I can't think of a better way to start off something, can you?_

Pikario walked into some room and saw Chuigi tied to a pole-like thingy! He instantly ran over and slapped him, waking him up! "Rise and shine, bitch!"

"**WHAT THE FUCK, MAN? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"** Chuigi shouted, pissed off!

Pikario set the rope tying Chuigi down on fire, then Chuigi went up in flames! "Shut up! Now let's get out of here! Peach's vagina is waiting for me up there!"

Chuigi sweatdropped. "And just when I thought your sexual references couldn't get any worse..."

_Just then, KA-BOOM! Popple appeared!_

"**MWAHAHAHAHAHA!** Red, I knew you'd show up! Now you shall meet your doom!" he shouted!

"I thought you said you were leaving this place once and for all..." Chuigi said!

Popple stopped laughing! **"MWAHAHAHA...** Oh, yeah... Well, um, I was, but I couldn't, you know, get a plane ticket to leave, so then, I went and changed my mind because I finally found someone strong enough to beat you guys! **_AND SHE'S A GIRl, TOO! YOU CAN NEVER DEFEAT WOMAN POWER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_**

Pikario shook his head. "It depends on what you mean by 'Woman Power'..."

Chuigi threw his hands up! "Pikario, shut up with the damn sexual references!"

_Then, a Charmander with a pink bow on her head came out! How cute!_

"Hey, what's going on in here, Poppy Pussy?" she asked!

Popple fell over! "No, damn it! Don't call me that in front of my enemies!"

The Charmander frowned! "Oh, but why? Are you cranky because you couldn't get an erection last time?"

Pikario's eyes widened! "Dude, you can't do that?"

Chuigi laughed and pointed! "What a wuss! I may be a virgin, but at least I can get an erection!"

Popple sweatdropped! **_"BIRDO! SHUT UP ABOUT THAT! I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY!"_**

"So, wanna try again?" Birdo winked!

"**_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_** Popple bellowed!

Then, Birdo got an idea! "Oh, I know why! It's because these guys are making you stressed! That's why you suck in bed!"

Pikario saw his chance! "Suck **_what? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_**

"So, Birdo **_is_** a transsexual!" Chuigi added, laughing!

Popple shook his fist! "All right! That's it, see? Rookie, let's get these freaks and teach 'em not to mess with us!"

Birdo danced into battle! "Right behind you, Pussy Poo!"

Popple sweatdropped! "Why me?"

_**Battle Mode Start! Well, This Should Be Interesting!**_

Popple pointed at Chuigi! "Quick, Rookie! Attack the Green guy!"

"**_CHUIGI!"_** the Raichu reminded him!

"Okay, my little Poopy Pussy Poop Poo!" Birdo sang, dancing over to Chuigi!

Popple sighed! "Just attack already!"

_Birdo used Egg Bomb on Chuigi! **IT DIDN'T WORK!**_

Chuigi frowned! "What the hell...?"

Popple jumped up and down in a fit! **_"NO! NO! NO! YOUR ATTACKS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK, NOT SUCK ASS!"_**

"Suck **_whose_** ass?" Pikario taunted!

Popple got mad! "I'll show you!"

_Just like last time, he got out his evil bag of stuff! He started throwing money, wet condoms, TVs, tacos, and recently-bought copies of Pokémon: Emerald Version!_

Chuigi caught the money, the _Pokémon: Emerald Versions_, the tacos, and the TVs! "Not this again! Do you even know what you're doing?"

Popple threw his bag away in a fit! "Damn it, Rookie! You gave me the wrong bag!"

Birdo shrugged! "Poopy Puss Poo, you have thousands of them! How was I supposed to know which one you wanted?"

"SILENCE!" Popple boomed! He then used Pay Day on Pikario, giving him 54,780,583,490 dollars and 94 cents, exact change!

Pikario jammed the money in his non-existent pocket! "Damn, I don't know if this guy's trying to help us or kill us!"

Popple got pissed! "I'm trying to do the latter, but nothing's fucking working against you guys!"

"Because we are _invincible!" _Chuigi taunted, using Thief on Popple and taking his state-of-the-art DVD Player!

"**_YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"_** Popple griped!

Birdo grabbed Popple from behind! "Don't worry, my love! I shall use my Super Awesome Attack to thwart this Red and Green guy you despise so much!"

Popple ran like mad! **_"NO, DAMN IT! DON'T DO THAT! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME?"_**

"Don't worry! I promise not to make you an omelet, okay?" Birdo promised!

Chuigi's hair stood on end! **_"OH NO! NOT THE OMELETS! IT'S THE CHOLESTEROL! IT WILL KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL US!" _**

_Birdo somehow sucked up Popple and used Softboiled on him... or something! I don't know! She spit out a whole shitload of eggs! What else kind of an attack can it be?_

_Chuigi went over and kicked an egg with his ridiculously long feet! **HE GOT ATTACKED BY CHOLESTEROL!**_

"**_GAH! OH, SHIT! HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_** Chuigi wailed, dancing around like an idiot!

"**MWAHAHAHA!** Take that! See, Pussy? I told it'd work this time!" Birdo gloated, using another Egg Bomb and completely missing, since it wasn't her turn!

_Pikario used **FRYING PAN!** He cooked all the eggs and made a delicious omelet, full of cholesterol and **SALT!** _

_Chuigi recovered from his brutal high blood pressure assault and used... **SALT! GET IT? ASSAULT? SALT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**_

Popple jumped out of an egg and ran around, his tail on fire! **_"SO MUCH FOR YOUR BRIGHT IDEA, ROOKIE!"_**

"And now for the grand finale!" Pikario declared!

_Pikario's **FRYING PAN **turned the eggs **GREEN**, so he used **HAM**! The awesome combination of Green Eggs and Ham was so powerful that it killed both Popple and Birdo!_

**_Battle Mode Completed! GREEN EGGS AND HAM ARE THE SHIT!_**

Seeing that he'd lost the battle, Popple smacked Birdo in the back of the head! "You IDIOT! Rookie, you made us lose! I knew that getting a horny Charmander transsexual was a bad idea!"

Birdo sat up and frowned! "Are you saying that was all my FAULT?"

Popple rolled his eyes! "Um, lemme think! YEAH!"

_Then for no apparent reason, Birdo evolved into a Charmeleon, then a Charizard!_

Popple freaked out! "Damn! How the hell did you do that?"

"All thanks to the fact that the Almighty Authoress likes to see you get your ass kicked and I couldn't do as well otherwise!" Birdo explained, using the Almighty Blast Burn attack that you can only get in the _Fire Red/Leaf Green Versions_ and blowing Popple out of the cave!

"Looks like Popple's blasting off **_AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!"_** the Meowth shouted, sounding almost like all 3 Team Rocket members!

Birdo tightened her claws! "Yes! I did it! I overcame my possessor and I won, too! Now, that I'm a Charizard, I can burn down peoples' houses and get away with it, while also inexplicably looking for a new boyfriend!"

"Yeah, and why don't you go and hang yourself while you're at it?" Chuigi spat!

"**GRRRRRRRRRRROWL...** and stuff!" Birdo used the Almighty Blast Burn attack that you can only get in the _Fire Red/Leaf Green Versions_ on Chuigi and flew away!

* * *

_**Sometime Later!**_

_Pikario & Chuigi made it back to the main town, only to see that it was completely and totally destroyed, just like last time!_

Chuigi sighed. "Not again..."

Pikario walked off! "Do these guys _liked _being killed, or something?"

* * *

_So, Pikario & Chuigi went to the castle! YAY!_

Pikario looked around! "Okay, Peach! I saved Chuigi, so can we have sex now?"

Queen Where fell out of nowhere, almost crushing Chuigi! "Pikario! Chuigi! It seems that the town is being ambushed!"

"Oh, yeah, what gave that away? The constant onslaught of bombs outside? The random Bulbasaurs running around on fire? Or maybe it was the fact that you were just on the roof, or something?" Pikario asked, sarcastically!

"Actually, I was trying to fix the damn satellite dish! It's not my fault we got attacked while I was doing that!" the Queen retorted!

_Lady Luna then appeared, with Shroomsworth behind her, looking very horny!_

"My Queen, it seems that Bowser's Flying Castle Thingy is responsible for this madness!"

Shroomsworth cleared his throat! "Of course, I had to tell her that, because she thought all that booming was me in the bed!"

Queen Where sweatdropped! "Repulsive!"

Then, Prince Peasley showed up! "Fear not, mother! For I shall depart and make my way to Boswer's Castle and show him what happens when he attacks our fair city when we're trying to watch indecent cable programs on TV!"

"Fine then, but I still think you're gay," the Queen added!

_Without another word, Peasley flew off, not to be seen again until next chapter or possibly the one after next!_

Pikario threw his hands up! "I don't care about this! I want Peach and I want her now!"

"Hi, Pikario!" Peach greeted, walking in! "In case you're wondering how to get to Bowser's Flying Castle Thingy, you have to use the HM 02, which is Fly, on Blahblahblahnandon, who, coincidentally, is right here!"

Blahblahblahnandon sipped some tea! "I just came for the fucking cookies and milk!"

"That's great! Now, can we go have sex?" Pikario asked!

"Sure, but don't forget to save the world afterwards!" Peach reminded him!

Pikario dragged her into the back room! "Whatever!"

Chuigi sweatdropped! "So... who wants to play charades?"

"Ooh! Does it involve nudity in strange and disturbing ways?" Shroomsworth asked!

"Uh... sure, gramps..." Chuigi replied, shrugging!

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** W00t! Not only do I have another chapter finished, but school's getting out tomorrow! (Well, really on Friday, but I ain't going) Oh, and sorry if this chapter was too short; I wanted Pikario & Chuigi to enter Bowser's Flying Castle Thingy at the beginning of the next chapter, so that's why. Anywho, it's all good and stuff! See ya next time!_


	16. Koopaling Fight 1: Iggy’s Gay and He Kn

_**Authoress' Notes:** Ok, here's the scoop! Last night, I just found out that I am now officially a Junior in high school now! I barely made it, but that's all behind me now! Yay for me! I sure don't act like one, do I? Ok, enough of the past and on with the present!

* * *

_

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poke Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 16:** Koopaling Fight #1: Iggy's Gay and He Knows It!

* * *

_

_So, leaving off from last time, Pikario & Chuigi had stopped by Queen Where's Castle to freshen up a bit, then it was off to Bowser's Flying Castle Thingy with the evil, cursing Aerodactyl so they could save the world, even though they really didn't need to because Peach was safe and sound back the castle, making this whole idea pointless and somewhat insane!_

Pikario & Chuigi stepped inside Bowser's Flying Castle Thingy, walking really slow and stuff! Cue music from "The Matrix"!

Blahblahblahnandon got pissed off from watching Pikario & Chuigi walk around like a pair of idiots! "Damn it, you guys! Move already! You have to save the fucking world, for god's sake! Damn!"

Pikario turned around and got mad! "Shut up, ass! We already got Peach, so I don't even know why we have to be here now!"

"Because Bowletta's trying to blow up the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom?" Chuigi asked, totally oblivious!

Pikario knocked Chuigi into a pit of boiling lava! "NO! Who gives a crap about these assholes? I sure don't!"

Chuigi died in the lava, then somehow came back, perfectly fine! "What the hell was that all about?"

"You can't ask that!" Pikario accused!

"I just did, and besides, Peach said that if you don't save the world, she won't have sex with you anymore! Wouldn't like that, would ya?" Chuigi taunted!

Pikario drop-kicked Chuigi into the lava again! "Like you should talk! At least I'm not a virgin like you!"

Chuigi came back and flipped off Pikario! "I may be a virgin, but at least I've got my decency!"

Pikario narrowed his eyes! "What's **_that_** supposed to mean?"

Chuigi ran through a big, red and scary-looking door! "That's for me to know and you to find out, bitch!"

Pikario ran after him with his .38 fully loaded! **_"HEY!" _**

_**Somewhere else in Bowser's... thingy!**_

Bowletta laughed **_VERY EVILLY! "MWAHAHAHAHA!_** Pikario & and Chuigi cannot stop me now! Who do they think I am, an idiot?"

Fawful looked around the room. "Um..."

Bowletta got mad! **_"DON'T PLAY WITH ME!"_**

_She pulled a lever and...** BOWSER'S KIDS CAME OUT! OH NO!**_

Bowletta pointed at the group of the evilly evil kid things! "Okay, so which one of you wants to kill Pikario?"

"Can I go this time?" Larry asked!

"But it's my turn! You killed Old School Hip-Hop! I wanna go now!" Roy whined, sporting his _secksy_ pink glasses!

_Being the musician of the kids, Ludwig did one of those rim shot thingies on the drums that they do at stupidly funny jokes people tell at the Almighty Authoress' pitifully-not-funny joke at the cons of Ol' Skool Hip Hop, which she occasionally enjoys!_

"If you let me kill Pikario, I'll bring back Chuigi so we can use him in those XXX-rated commercials about girls and how they eat cheese!" Morton Jr. said!

"That's not what they do in those commercials!" Lemmy complained!

"Well, I wanna kill Chuigi! He's a wuss!" Larry said.

Wendy bounced up and down! **_"ME, DAMN IT! I'M THE PRINCESS AND WHAT I SAY GOES!"_**

"Well, you're just a sorry, old bitch, Wendy!" Ludwig shouted, throwing a drum stick at her!

"**_WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY? I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT! DNXSJKFCNHDVGJCFNHJX!" _**Wendy shouted, foaming at the mouth! She then promptly attacked Ludwig!

Iggy raised his hand! "Ooh! Ooh! I know! If I kill him, can I have his testicles?"

"Dislocating the testicles... Of the very hurtness that will do to our enemies! Let us be doing the trying that now!" Fawful informed Bowletta!

Bowletta sweatdropped. "Uh... sure, whatever...

The other evil kids got sad! **_"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..."_**

_Fabulous! Sometime later, Pikario continued chasing Chuigi throughout the evil castle of Bowser with his gun, trying to make him tell him what he meant earlier!_

"Tell me what the hell you're talking about!" Pikario shouted, firing off his gun!

Chuigi flipped off Pikario! **_"NEVER!"_**

_The two ran around, killing random and annoying Hammer Bros. Magikoopas, and even the occasional Boo, who are technically already presumed dead! Yay for them! This all repeated over and over again until Iggy appeared out of nowhere!_

"**_MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FOOLS!_** I see you! Now, in order to fight me, I shall make you dodge my stupid-ass fireballs in order to get to me!" he threatened!

"You're such an ass!" Pikario shouted, shooting a hole in the wall!

"And you suck ass!" Chuigi shouted back, flipping him off big time!

"Hey! Assholes! Listen to **_MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"_** Iggy whined!

"Shut up, Iggy!" Pikario demanded, pushing Chuigi into the lava again!

"Yeah, who cares about you anyway?" Chuigi added, not dying again!

"What? That's not nice! And that's not the point! You guys have to fight me now!" Iggy said.

"...I don't feel like it..." Pikario sighed.

"Yeah, me neither..." Chuigi agreed!

"What do you mean 'I don't feel like it'? You'd better! **YOU HAVE TO!"** Iggy whined again!

"Not really..." Pikario said, calmly.

"Yeah, can't we kill someone a little less gay?" Chuigi said, also very calmly!

"GAY? I'm not gay!" Iggy was offended!

Chuigi sneered! "Yeah, you are! Trust me... I can tell!"

"Tell us, Iggy... Do you find us attractive?" Pikario jeered!

"Enough of this! I said I'm going to kill you and bring back your testicles and I'm going to do it, too!" Iggy screeched!

_**Battle Mode Start! OH NO! It's Iggy! RUN AWAY!**_

"**_MWAHAHAHA! _**Look!**_ LOOK! MY GLASSES ARE ALL SWIRLY AND STUFF, SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE HELL I'M GOING!"_** Iggy announced!

Pikario shrugged. "Okay..."

"Is that a good thing?" Chuigi asked!

Pikario threw him into the lava again! "How the hell should I know?"

_Iggy attacked with a Water Gun! It missed and hit the lava!_

"What kind of a wimpy move was that?" Pikario laughed!

"**SHUT UP!** I was just getting started!" Iggy moaned!

_Chuigi used Thunder! It missed!_

Pikario slammed his brother into the lava once again! "Get outta the way and let a man do this!"

_Pikario used his .38, but Iggy dodged all the bullets!_

"Who's the wimp now? You can't even shoot me with your lame-ass gun!" Iggy laughed!

"Damn it!" Pikario cursed, still shooting away!

_Chuigi saw that Pikario's violence was getting him nowhere, so he used OMG The Authoress Has Run Out Of Ideas For Attacks For Him To Use, So He Just Pushes Him Into The Lava!_

"**_OH, SHIT! I MAY BE A WATER TYPE, BUT IT STILL BURNS!"_** Iggy declared, not dying, not losing the match because the Authoress can't think of another way to kill him!

_**Battle Mode Completed! Onto the next Koopaling now!**_

"I'm not gay, you losers! One day, I'll prove that to you!" Iggy proclaimed, sinking into the lava, probably dead or otherwise!

Pikario watched the disappearing Iggy! "Well, that was weird..."

"Yeah..." Chuigi frowned.

"And you still didn't tell me what you meant earlier!" Pikario suddenly remembered!

"Hey, who cares about that? We just killed somebody!" Chuigi smiled!

Pikario shoved him into the lava! "Then why the hell won't it work on **_YOU?"

* * *

_**

_**Authoress' Notes:** Gah... For the life of me, I can't remember how old Bowser's kids are... It'd be nice if I could find out, but I'm too unmotivated to do something like that at the moment. Sorry if the chapter was a little short and not as funny, but that's kind of a good thing (Asides from not being very funny; I was lazy when I made this)! I've decided to make the last few chapters based on each fight with the Koopalings, Fawful, Bowletta, then an Epilogue, making a total of 10 more chapters! They'll kind be like mini-fights adding up to the main fight, then the aftermath! The chapters won't be as long as usual, but they'll come much faster and hopefully be a lot funnier! I hope that works out for everyone! (And for the benefit of all the Iggy fans out there, no, I don't think Iggy is really gay. I personally like him over Ludwig and Morton, who I think are very ugly, lol.)_


	17. Koopaling Fight 2: Morton Jr Gets a Fa

_**Authoress' Notes:** OHMUHGOSH! It has just come to my attention that I am officially bored! Therefore, I will now update this story:)

* * *

_

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poke Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 17:** Koopaling Fight #2: Morton Jr. Gets a Facelift!

* * *

_

_So, after defeating the evil and probably mentally-retarded Iggy, Pikario & Chuigi continued on in Bowser's evil Flying castle Thingy so they could look for their next target!

* * *

_

_**Meanwhile!**_

"GAH! Damn those two!" Bowletta growled!

"Oh, my god! They killed Iggy!" Wendy shouted, quoting from a show that the Authoress really dislikes!

"THOSE BASTARDS!" Morton Jr. added, also quoting from a show that the Authoress really dislikes!

"Can I go kill Chuigi now?" Larry asked politely, because he was cute!

_Ludwig started playing "Moonlight Sonata" for no apparent reason! Just exactly how is what I'm trying to figure out, since he doesn't have a piano!_

"If that's supposed to be some kind of indicator to me that you want to go next, I'm ignoring it!" Bowletta roared!

Ludwig slammed his head into the keyboard! **_"DAMN!"_**

"Morton's going next!" Bowletta decided!

Morton Jr. freaked out! "WHAT? Why me?"

"**_BECAUSE I SAID SO!"_** Bowletta explained!

"Because of the saying she has just said to you, mister!" Fawful annoyingly repeated!

"Fine! I'll show Pikario & Chuigi that no one messes with my evil, probably mentally-retarded brother without having to deal with me!" Morton growled!

Bowletta shoved him out the room! "Okay! Okay! Just go already! Damn!"

* * *

_**Elsewhere!**_

Chuigi killed a random Hammer Bro! "C'mon, Pikario! Face it, we're lost!"

Pikario jammed him into the lava! "We're not lost, damn it! 'Bow-leeta', or whatever the hell her name was must've redone the place to confuse us or something!"

Chuigi came back! "I _told _you we should've taken that teleporter thingy that Iggy left behind! It's something called **COMMON SENSE!"**

"**I'LL 'COMMON SENSE' YOUR ASS!"** Pikario barked, as he kicked Chuigi into the lava again!

Chuigi came back and kicked Pikario into the lava!** "DAMN YOU! STOP DOING THAT!"**

Pikario wasn't affected, but he was really pissed off, so he pulled out his .38! "You crummy ass piece of shit!"

Chuigi ran away! "Crap!"

Then, Morton appeared out of nowhere and started bouncing up and down! **"BEHOLD! MY SHOCKWAVES OF DOOM WILL SURELY KILL YOU!"**

"And my gun of doom will kill HIM!" Pikario growled, not really paying attention to Morton!

_Seeing that he was being ignored, Morton made a lot of shockwaves and stuff that kept hitting Pikatio & Chuigi, causing Pikario to drop his gun!_

"Who the hell do you think you are, coming in here and stopping me from killing my own brother?" Pikario demanded!

"Yeah!" Chuigi agreed, only because he couldn't think of anything else to say!

"You went and killed my brother, so I'm here to take my revenge for him!" Morton said!

Pikario made a face, trying not to laugh! "Dude, you know he was gay, right?"

"...and retarded..." Chuigi added!

Morton looked shocked! "No, he wasn't! Okay, so he was a little retarded, but after living with Dad, can you blame him?"

"...Yes..." Chuigi answered bluntly!

Morton got pissed and pointed at Chuigi! **"THAT'S AN INSULT! NOW YOU WILL SUFFER UNDER MY CREEPY AND UNUSUAL WRATH!"**

Pikario sweatdropped. "Your what?"

_**Battle Mode Start! EWW! Morton's face is ugly!**_

"**PREPARE TO DIE, WORMS!"** Morton, who was very ugly, shouted!

"You come in and threaten us looking like that?" Pikario laughed!

"You look like an ass!" Chuigi taunted!

_Morton used Earthquake! Chuigi fainted!_

Pikario sweatsropped! **"OH, SHIT!"**

Morton laughed manically at his feat! **"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE GRETA KOOPA MORTON JR.?"**

_Chuigi used Broken Beer Bottle! Morton's eye got cut!_

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HEY, HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT? I KILLED YOU!"** Morton demanded, since his eye was bleeding, but not really, because Chuigi had missed and hit a nearby ketchup bottle, causing it to explode onto his face!

Chuigi shrugged. "Uh... I'm breaking the rules..."

"**WHAT?"** Morton got so mad, he turned into a Blastiose!

Chuigi sweatdropped! "Oh, shit!"

Pikario punched him in the face! "Now look what you did!"

Chuigi punched Pikario back! "It's not my fault that most of these battles are unauthorized and illegal, complete with unauthorized and illegal moves!"

_Morton used Hydro Blast, which, technically ISN'T an unauthorized or illegal move because you can teach it to your Blastiose in Fire Red/Leaf Green Versions!_

Pikario shook off the water and kicked Chuigi into lava again! "What the hell are you doing?"

Morton looked confused! "Huh?"

Chuigi came back once again! "What the hell are you talking about, Pikario?"

Pikario used a piledriver on Chuigi and sent him flying into the lava again! "Now that you're a Blastiose, you don't look ugly anymore; therefore, you don't have to fight us!"

Morton got a big, stupid grin on his face! "Wow! Really?"

Pikario nodded! "Yeah, because Blastioses are cool, while Wartortles are, in fact, not!"

"Plus, now you're like Bowser now, so, um... fighting us like this just shows how much of an ass you are!" Chuigi groggily added, coming back!

Morton clinched his fists! "So, **THAT'S **why Dad never wins when he fights you guys! And why he recently became a transsexual!"

Pikario shrugged! "That wasn't exactly what I was going for, but whatever..."

**_Battle Mode Completed! Bowletta's the transsexual, not Bowser!_**

Morton held his head high! "All right! That's it! I'm going off to show the world exactly how un-ugly and very cool and sexy I am!"

Pikario sweatdropped, a look of irritation on his face! "Yeah, you do that, big boy..."

"And don't forget to kill yourself while doing so..." Chuigi inadvertently added!

_And after blasting Chuigi in the head with a strong Hydro Blast, which you can only learn in the Fire Red/Leaf Green Versions, Morton jumped into the lava and swam away to places unknown!_

Chuigi twitched! **"WHY THE HELL IS EVERYBODY AGAINST ME TODAY?"**

Pikario kicked Chuigi into the lava again! "No reason; we just love to see someone else beside us in constant pain and agony!"

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Well, Chapter 17 is done and is slightly funnier than Chapter 16! Not much else to say here, except I'm thinking of making an original story of Pikario & Chuigi! Y'know, where they're not making a parody of a game, just acting stupid on their own time? Yeah, it's something like that..._


	18. Koopaling Fight 3: The Somewhat Delayed

_**Authoress' Notes:** Hmm... Not much to say here today... Just my thanks to Lord Luffy once again for suggesting a funny plot for today's Chapter!

* * *

_

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 18:** Koopaling Fight #3: The Somewhat Delayed Attack of Lemmy and His Evil, Inflatable Sex Toys of Doom!

* * *

_

_PRETZELS! Okay, now that that's over with... let's get back to Pikario & Chuigi, who seem to be having a little problem!_

"**GOD DAMN IT!"** Chuigi angrily shouted, stuck in of those whirlwind thingies!

Pikario shook his head! "I told you not to get in there, but **NOOOOOOO!"**

Chuigi flipped him off! "Just shut up and get me the hell outta here!"

* * *

_**Meanwhile!**_

Bowletta slammed her fist into the wall! **"DAMN IT!** Those assholes are killing all my children!"

"Of the very unfortunate I am the finding this to be!" Fawful spat!

Bowletta pointed at him! "I don't know what the hell you just said, but I agree completely!"

"I changed my mind; I don't wanna go first anymore!" Larry whined, running away!

_For no apparent reason, Ludwig started playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" on his non-existent piano! _

Bowletta threw Roy at the insane Koopaling, who was obviously wearing a wig, hence his name! **"SHUT UP!"**

"I just got done painting my nails, so I can't go!" Wendy lied!

"Ridiculously long nails are important for slutty girls, so you're going to strip after this!" Bowletta roared!

Wendy did a double take! **"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"**

"I can't go because I'm mentally ill!" Roy complained, putting an ice pack on his head!

"I have an important date with myself and my Evil, Inflatable Sex Toys of Doom, so I can't go right now!" Lemmy exclaimed, pointing to the Sex Toy thingies!

Bowletta's eyes widened in irritation! "You little nerd, you're not supposed to have those! Where'd you get them from?"

Lemmy looked around! "Uh... Internet?"

Bowletta kicked Lemmy out the door! "Then you have an unfair advantage! **GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING!"

* * *

**

_**Back with Pikario & Chuigi!**_

Chuigi walked along angrily! "Pikario, I'm getting sick and tired of looking for these bitches! Can't we just pretend we're dead, and then blow up this place, or something?"

Pikario glared at his younger brother! "That's stupid! Interesting, but stupid! We don't have time to fuck around like that, man!"

Chuigi changed the subject! "You don't even know where you're going!"

Pikario kicked Chuigi into lava yet again! "At this point, it doesn't even matter! These freaks just keep popping out of nowhere, anyway! It's not like _we _actually have to find _them_!"

_All of a sudden, Lemmy popped of nowhere! _

"**HELLO!"** he chirped happily!

Pikario sweatdropped! "See what I mean?"

"Hi! I'm Iggy's mentally retarded, but-assuredly-not-gay twin brother, Lemmy!" Lemmy announced!

Chuigi came back! "And we care because?"

"Because I'm going to kill you?" Lemmy asked!

Pikario frowned. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

"I just said, 'I'm Iggy's mentally retarded, but-assuredly-not-gay brother, Lemmy!' So..." Lemmy trailed off!

Irritated, Pikario shrugged! **"SO?"**

Lemmy scratched his head. "What was the question again?"

Chuigi sweatdropped. "You may not be gay, but you sure are an ass..."

Then, Lemmy got mad! "Hey, that's not nice! I'll show you two about how mean it is to be mean to people like me!"

"Has it ever come to your attention that you really aren't a person to begin with?" Chuigi said, being the lame stereotype he was!

_Not able to think of an outrageous and nonsensical comeback, Lemmy took out his Evil, Inflatable Sex Toys of Doom, that looked nothing like him, to be his copies!_

"Now let's see you try to find me! **YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" **Lemmy laughed manically!

Pikario calmly went over and hit the real Lemmy in the head! "Loser..."

Lemmy starting crying! "Loser? That's very not nice! I'll show _you_ loser!"

**_Battle Mode Start! Lemmy may be cute and stupid, but Iggy is cute and VERY stupid!_**

_Starting off the match, Lemmy used his Evil, Inflatable Sex Toys of Doom!_

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Not this shit again..."

"Dude, don't you know those things look nothing like you?" Pikario asked!

Lemmy freaked out! "What? Is that bad? Oh no, that's bad, isn't it?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it the end of the world..." Pikario muttered, hitting the real Lemmy with his Hammer!

_All of a sudden, Pennington appeared out of nowhere!_

Chuigi was shocked! "What the hell?"

Pikario pointed! "You can't be here! **_"College Rule Pikario"_** is OVER!"

Pennington slapped Lemmy! "You fiend! Stealing my overly-priced-and-somewhat-less sexy-than-they're-supposed-to-be Evil, Inflatable Sex Toys Doom is an inappropriate and strange crime that you will be punished for very muchly upon the second I get the hell outta here!"

Lemmy started to cry! "W-What'd I do?"

Pennington slapped him again! "I just told you!"

"Lay off of the freak; he's a retard..." Pikario told the angry Delibird, feeling like he should know!

"Oh, really now? Well, in that case, would you like to be witty, yet somewhat hindered partner in the detective business? You'll get free soap for a salary and every time we don't solve a case, we get paid extra money!"

"Is the soap liquid or solid?" Lemmy asked.

"**LIQUID!"** Pennington sighed exasperatedly! "What kind of an ass washes with solid soap anyway?"

Lemmy smiled! "What a deal! Ok, I'll be your partner!"

"Good, now my inexplicably strange detective business and finally reopen!" Pennington proclaimed, walking off!

Lemmy bounced up and down! "YAY!"

_And so, Pennington and Lemmy left to do who-knows-what, but at least we all know it involves liquid soap, detectiveness stuff, and... **SALAD DRESSING!**_

**_Battle Mode Completed! I sense a child prodigy for Lemmy! ...Or maybe that was BBQ chicken..._**

Chuigi watched as Pennington and Lemmy left! "Who the hell was that guy?"

Pikario sweatdropped. "You mean you don't know?"

Chuigi frowned! "If I didn't know, I wouldn't be _asking _you, now would I?"

For the 5,295,849th time, Pikario kicked Chuigi into the boiling lava! "If you were cool, you'd know..."

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** In case you were confused, which is something you shouldn't be at this point, the whirlwind thingy Chuigi was stuck in at the beginning is the same one you have to Spin Jump into to get to Lemmy's Room. And yes, Chuigi doesn't know who Pennington is, since he never saw him **"CRP".** If you read the Epilogue of **"CRP"**, then you'll know why Pennington was in this Chapter._


	19. Koopaling Fight 4: Ludwig Goes BALD!

_**Authoress' Notes:** OHMUHGAWD! After only after a little over a year since I fist started it, **"P&C"** has almost completely honored another one of my fallen stories (which I intend to eventually put back up) by getting 100 Reviews! My other story had 116 before it was removed, so we're almost there! And did I happen to mention that **"P&C"** also has the second highest Reviews in entire Mario section? Although, due to the lack of decent Mario stories, that's kind of a bad thing... Oh, yeah, and kudos to Lord Luffy once again for his ideas.

* * *

_

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 19:** Koopaling Fight #4: Ludwig Goes BALD! ...Well, Not Really...

* * *

_

_HOORAY! The Koopalings are all, like, dying and stuff! ...And in case you haven't noticed, that's good..._

As Chuigi walked along, he killed a randomly placed Hammer Bro! "Is there even any point to us walking around like this anymore?"

Pikario shot another unfortunate Hammer Bro between the eyes! "It's not like we have anything else to do..."

Chuigi nodded! "Right..."

* * *

_**Meanwhile!**_

"**DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! LEMMY'S A FREAKING TRAITOR!"** Bowletta stomped her foot, while also inexplicably playing "Pokémon: XD"!

Roy scratched his head! "He was _Iggy's_ twin brother! I think we all should've expected something like this to happen!"

Wendy slapped Roy with her EVIL NAIL POLISH! **"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS? IGGY WAS RETARDED! LEMMY WAS AN ASS, BUT HE WASN'T A HANDICAP, SO IT'S DIFFERENT, DAMN YOU!"**

Roy fixed his _secksy _pink glasses and smirked, unharmed from the poisonous stench of the demented nail polish! "Oh."

Larry popped his head out of the lava, looking very cute while doing so! "You can't expect me to go now! I'm taking a bath, because I want to be squeaky clean!"

Bowletta sweatdropped. "What a freakishly lame excuse! But it's kinda funny, so you're excused!"

Fawful bounced up and down to attract attention! "The children of the Koopa, who was once king, but now really isn't, are doing the dropping like flies that have been of the introducing to my flyswatter that I have fury upon!"

Bowletta caught a Shadow Dragonite, which you can get in "Pokémon: XD" (W00t)! "Fine then, Lemmy is dead to us now! Wendy, get your ass out there and finish those two off, NOW!"

Wendy frowned. "I can't."

Bowletta pulled on her scary Umbreon ear thingies! **"WHY?"**

"As you can probably tell from the deadly, noxious fumes in the air, I'm still painting my nails!" Wendy lied again, showing Bowletta some dried out nail polish that had apparently never been used!

Bowletta pointed at her! "LIAR! And you still haven't stripped for us yet!"

Wendy rolled her eyes!** "STRIP WHAT? **I'm already naked!"

_Seeing as this was a good time to intrude on things, Ludwig started playing various remixes to "Luigi's Mansion", because the main tune is very annoying and highly addictive!_

Fed up with his random musical interludes on nonexistent pianos, Bowletta grabbed Ludwig! "You're getting on my LAST nerves! Exactly, **WHAT** the hell are you trying to do?"

"Damn it, I want to fight! Geez, I've only been saying it for, like, **5 HOURS!"** Ludwig growled!

Granting his request, Bowletta hurled Ludwig out the door! "Good, if it'll just get you to shut up already!"

* * *

_**Now, back with Da Brothers!**_

Chuigi glared at Pikario, who, in turn, glared back! "What the hell are we doing?"

Pikario started polishing his .38! "Waiting for another one of those dumbass Koopalings to show up..."

Chuigi looked at his watch, which he didn't really have, but the Authoress gave him one to quickly look at during this scene! "I'm guessing one should come up right about..."

_KABOOM! A nonexistent piano fell out of nowhere and Ludwig crawled out of it!_

"...Now," Chuigi finished, rolling his eyes.

"FOOLS! Did you actually think you could escape my persistent onslaught of horrible, yet occasionally enjoyable music played on my nonexistent pianos?" Ludwig demanded, all the while banging his ass on the keyboard!

"'Persistent' and 'onslaught' mean the same thing..." Chuigi mumbled!

Pikario kicked him into the lava! "No they don't!"

Ludwig started playing some god-awful music! "NOW, WE SHALL FIGHT TO THE DEATH!"

_**Battle Mode Start! OH NO! It's not Beethoven, but a very crappy substitute!**_

_Almost immediately, Ludwig started playing Kirby's Theme Song, hindering Pikario, because it's so freakishly cute!_

Pikario covered his ears! "IT'S... TOO... CUTE...! DAMN IT!"

Chuigi glared at him! "What the hell's wrong with you? It's not _that _bad..."

"It seems that you're not physically in-tune with the world, so shit like this doesn't bug you!" Ludwig shouted, seeing as Chuigi wasn't affected!

_All of a sudden, the Evil People from Nintendo appeared out of nowhere!_

"Ludwig von Koopa, you are now under arrest!" the Evil People from Nintendo said!

Ludwig sweatdropped! "What for?"

"For impersonating Beethoven, trying to destroy the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom, and smuggling underage Bob-ombs across the border for immoral purposes!" the Nintendo folk continued!

"Madness! I didn't do that crap!" Ludwig scoffed, slapping the side of his nonexistent piano!

_Just then, a whole shitload of cute, baby Bob-ombs fell out from underneath Ludwig's nonexistent piano!_

One poor, little Bob-omb thingy started crying! "Please help us! The mean guy with the wig said he was gonna touch us meanly if we didn't do what he said and it scared me!"

Chuigi rubbed his chin! "It was the perfect plan!"

Pikario crossed his arms and nodded like he knew what he was talking about! "We should've seen it earlier!"

Ludwig sweatdropped! "What the hell? How'd you know?"

"We are the Evil People from Nintendo! WE KNOW ALL!" one evil person said!

"And that bitchy old lady, Beldam tipped us off!" one of the smart-asses added!

Ludwig banged the piano! "Damn, you Beldam! Why'd you have to go and spill the beans?"

Then, Beldam appeared out of nowhere! "I'm not going down like this without taking someone with me, you son of a bitch!"

"Hey, you can't be out here!" Evil People from Nintendo shouted, grabbing Beldam!

Ludwig started choking Beldam! **"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU WHORE!"**

Beldam started choking Ludwig! **"YOU SHOULD'VE ALREADY SHIPPED THE BOB-OMBS TO HOLYCRAPITS6:47PMANDTHERESNOTHINGWECANDOABOUTIT TOWN, YOU FREAK!"**

"Stop this nonsense! You two can fight in NINTENDO JAIL! FUFUFUFU!" the Evil People from Nintendo exclaimed, hauling Ludwig and his nonexistent piano of DOOM off to jail with Beldam, who still trying to get out, but can't!

**_Battle Mode Completed! What? Ludwig was arrested, so what else can we do?_**

Pikario frowned. "Well, that was stupid..."

Chuigi also frowned! "Like everything else isn't?"

"So... what do we do now?" one of the cute, little Bob-ombs asked!

Pikario shrugged. "Stay here and eventually commit suicide by blowing yourselves up?"

"Okay! Cool!" And the Bob-ombs bounced off to do just that!

_Yay! Not only did the Evil People from Nintendo catch yet, another evil bad guy disliked by the Authoress, but Pikario persuaded a large group of innocentchildren to eventually commit suicide! **IS THE WORLD COMING TO AN ABURBT END, OR WHAT?**

* * *

_

_**Authoress' Notes:** Hmm... I've just realized that for a number of my stories, I forgot to put a disclaimer in, and since I'm too lazy and unmotivated to do that right now, I'll say it here for this one. I DO NOT OWN ANY ORIGINAL CHARACTERS FROM THIS GAME, JUST THEIR POKéMON FORMS, WHO I MADE UP! Thank you. :P_


	20. Koopaling Fight 5: Roy’s Pink Don’t Shr

_**Authoress' Notes:** My Evil School starts back soon, so I'm gonna be updating this story about once a week until it's finished in order to speed things up. That is all.

* * *

_

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 20:** Koopaling Fight #5: Roy's Pink Don't Shrink! The Reluctant Assault of Chicken Miasma Productions!

* * *

_

_Ever since Pikario & Chuigi have realized they don't have to doing anything or go anywhere to find the Koopalings, they are currently taking a nap! Well, whoever said progress is the next step to completion never met these two... My god, what the hell am I talking about?

* * *

_

_**Meanwhile!**_

Bowletta sat in her throne! "Well, Ludwig went to jail... Can't say I didn't see that one coming..."

"Larry's done with his bath now! HE'S GOING NEXT!" Wendy screeched!

"But I have to lotion first! And I have to brush my teeth, comb my hair, clean my shell, sharpen my nails..."

"Yeah, Wendy! Stop being a bitch and leave Larry alone!" Bowletta growled!

"Why can't we all just be... _pink?"_ Roy calmly advised!

Bowletta frowned. "What?"

"Are you high?" Wendy asked.

"And why is Kirby here?" Larry also asked.

"I really don't know," a randomly-placed Kirby said!

Roy made a stance! "Kirby's here because he knows that the pink don't shrink!"

Wendy twitched. "...That's... that's really gay, Roy... I can't believe you actually said that..."

"I can't believe it's not butter!" Larry randomly spat!

Bowletta booted Roy and Kirby out the door! "You're creeping me out with your love of pink and Kirby's not supposed to be here, so YOU go now!"

* * *

_**With Da Brothers!**_

Pikario awoke and almost instantly kicked his brother into lava! "Wake your ass up..."

Chuigi came back and shrugged. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm immune to that now..."

"Oh, I noticed a long time ago," Pikario shoved him into the magma yet again! "I just like seeing your reaction..."

"You're a sick ass..." Chuigi grumbled!

"Thank you..." Pikario mumbled, not completely awake!

_Then, Roy and Kirby appeared on a nuclear bomb!_

"Surrender, or face the inevitable doom that is pink!" Roy demanded!

"Yeah, what he said!" Kirby agreed!

"Man, what's your deal?" Chuigi frowned!

"And why is Kirby here?" Pikario asked!

"He's gonna be helping me fight you guys!" Roy answered!

"What? Just because I don't know what I'm doing here doesn't mean I ever wanted to fight anybody!" Kirby protested!

"I'll pay you!" Roy quickly responded!

Kirby sucked up the nuclear bomb and turned into Bomb Kirby! "Okay!"

"Gimme a break..." Pikario grumbled at Kirby's naïve stupidity!

"Y'know what they say; Money can truly break a man... or whatever the hell Kirby is," Chuigi said randomly!

_**Battle Mode Start! T3H PEENK DONT' SHREENK! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"Hey, you see Bomb Kirby here? Yeah, well, um... Ya gotta beat me before he, like, blows up and stuff, or you'll die... AND STUFF!" Roy said!

Bomb Kirby waved! "Hi, guys! Look! I'm a malevolent threat and you can't stop me!"

"You can't do that! HAL Laboratories is gonna kick your ass for that!" Pikario pointed out.

Chuigi frowned. "Dude, why are you using Kirby? Can't you use a... Bob-omb, or something?"

Roy shrugged! "Because I want pink... and Kirby's pink, so yeah!"

"Pink sucks!" Pikario laughed!

* * *

_**WE INTERRUPT THIS IDIOTIC CHAPTER'S BROADCAST TO BRING YOU A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS**_

_Due to that very rude and untrue comment, Pikario will now be struck by angry, pink lightning, courtesy of the Almighty Authoress. We are not, in any way, responsible for the outcome of what our employees say and/or do, therefore, they are often disciplined in a decent manner (Unless otherwise stated). We here at Chicken Miasma Productions are truly sorry for this inconvenience. _

_Also, even though he works for HAL Laboratories, Kirby is not being paid for his role in this Chapter because I gave him an Oreo cookie and he liked it._

_**WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THIS CRAZY-ASS CHAPTER ABOUT PINK STUFF**__**

* * *

**_

**_KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_**

"Ouch..." a now fried Pikario coughed!

"That's one turn down!" Kirby reminded everyone, holding up a sign with badly drawn 7 on it!

"No fair! We haven't even attacked yet!" Chuigi complained!

"But the Authoress did, so that's one turn!" Bomb Kirby responded!

Chuigi sweatdropped! "Uh..."

"Now it's my turn!" Roy declared!

_Roy used PINK! Pikario & Chuigi were Pwn3d!_

Chuigi frowned. "What? Dude, you didn't even do anything..."

Pikario did something and Chuigi ended up in the lava! "DUDE! WE WERE PWN3D! WHAT ELSE **_CAN_** YOU DO?"

"That's two turns down!" Bomb Kirby reminded everyone, holding up a sign with badly drawn 6 on it!

Pikario was outraged! **_"WHAT?"_**

"You kicked Chuigi into the lava and he didn't do anything!" Bomb Kirby explained!

"This is bull crap! We're losing!" Pikario groaned!

"Kirby, cut us some slack! You know we never have legal RPG battles!" Chuigi pleaded!

Bomb Kirby shrugged! "Sorry guys, but I'm getting paid for this!

"I'll give you a cookie," Pikario bargained!

Kirby's eyes widened! "Chocolate chip?"

Pikario shrugged. "Why not?"

"SWEET!" Bomb Kirby grabbed the cookie and turned back to normal! "You're on your own, Roy! My cookie ownz0rz!"

Roy sweatdropped. "What?"

_Due to the fact that Roy is man enough to like pink in a stylish way and he's the Almighty Authoress' 3rd favorite Koopaling, Pikario & Chuigi are not allowed to kill him!_

Pikario looked up at the ceiling! "STOP CHANGING THE PLOT!"

"Wow, I'm a free man... er, Koopa... or whatever..." Roy rejoiced!

_**Battle Mode Completed! Um... Okay?**_

"Well, now what? We can't kill this guy!" Chuigi shouted!

Roy scratched his head. "Actually, I never wanted to fight in the first place... So, would it make any difference if I just left?

Pikario rolled his eyes. "Not to me..."

"And I'll come, too! It's not like I have anything else to do right now..." Kirby said, finishing off his cookie!

"Why don't we go on a random expedition to find the perfect shade of pink?" Roy suggested!

"Okay!" Kirby agreed!

_And so, Roy and Kirby jumped on a random, pink balloon that just happened to appear out of nowhere and dispersed to places unknown!_

"Are we ever gonna get out of this place?" Chuigi growled, pulling on his ears!

"Probably not... Wanna go spit in the lava and then say we didn't do it?" Pikario asked!

"Eh, okay..." Chuigi concured!

_And so, Pikario & Chuigi went off to go spit in the lava and make the Magikoopas mad, and then piss them off even more by lying about it! That cruel AND unusual!_

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Why ARE those Bob-ombs pink? ...Eh, whatever... Oh, and sorry for not using your ideas in this Chapter, Lord Luffy; I kinda already had it planned it out, ya know... And the slight mentioning of Chicken Miasma Productions is just an inside joke that nobody is supposed to get. :P_


	21. Koopaling Fight 6: Wendy and the Confus

_**Authoress' Notes:** DIE, DOME ACE TUCKER, YOU GIRLY FREAK! Anyway, Chapter 21 is finally here! I suggest it be checked out!

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**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 21:** Koopaling Fight #6: Wendy and the Confusing Logic! The Evil People from Nintendo Strike Back... WITH PROCESSED CHEESE!_

* * *

_And so, having recently been pwn3d by Roy and the color pink..._

Chuigi shook his fist at the ceiling! "We would've killed him if we were ALLOWED to!"

_SILENCE, PUNY MORTAL! ...Anyway, having recently been pwn3d by Roy and the color pink... Pikario & Chuigi continue on in Bowser/Bowletta's castle thingy, knowing that they only have 2 more Koopalings left! THANK GOD!

* * *

_

_**Meanwhile!**_

Fawful held up a Nintendo Revolution! "Bowletta! Nintendo has the Revolution, of which shall be in the great greatness, because of the DVD, GameCube discs, and possibly CD playage it possesses!"

Bowletta grumbled! "That's great and all, but I'm almost out of kids to fight with!"

"Ooh, ooh! Do I get to fight Pikario next?" Larry asked, with his cute naiveté!

Wendy inched away. "Yeah... let him go next..."

Bowletta grabbed Wendy and shook her! "You've been acting like a sorry, old stupid bitch ever since Pikario got here! Why don't **YOU **do something for a change?"

"Whaddya yelling at **ME **for? Larry wants to go next, damn it, so let _him_ go!" Wendy struggled!

"Your nails are dry and you haven't stripped yet, so your punishment is to go fight Pikario next!" Bowletta growled, still shaking Wendy!

"Pretty please with Nintendo 64s and Super Nintendos on top, can I go?" Larry pleaded!

"Here! Have a pizza!" Bowletta threw a pizza at Larry!

Larry caught it! **"YAY!"**

Wendy frowned! "Hey!"

"Hay is for Ponytas, Rapidashes, and maybe even Camerupts, but you will not refer to me by that name!" Bowletta lectured!

Wendy flipped of Bowletta! "Fuck you! I already told you; **I CAN'T STRIP! I'M NAKED!" **

Bowletta launched Wendy out the door like a football! "Excuses, excuses! **GET TO STEPPIN'!"

* * *

**

_**Back with the idiots!**_

Pikario walked over to some pipes in Wendy's Room! "Hm... pipes..."

Chuigi eyed him! "I just know you're trying to make a dirty joke out of this..."

"That I am!" Pikario gloated, sitting on the edge of one of the pipes, drinking one of his randomly-placed beers!

Chuigi sat on another pipe, opposite of his brother; unfortunately, he just remembered he was a Raichu, so he fell in and got ass stuck! **"DAMN!"**

Pikario frowned, obviously not amused! "Eww... You better hope nobody comes out of that..."

_Then, Wendy popped up! Thankfully, she came out of the middle pipe!_

"Hey, bastards! Get the hell over here and fight me before I kick your asses!" Wendy growled!

Pikario continued drinking his beer! "I don't feel like it..."

"Damn it! Will someone get me out of this freaking pipe?" Chuigi complained, not hearing a word Wendy said!

Wendy grumbled! "Listen, do you guys wanna fight or what, because I want to go back to my room and watch TV!"

"This IS your room!" Pikario spat!

"And I don't see a fucking TV!" Chuigi added, his ass still stuck!

Wendy freaked out! "The hell? **_WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY TV?"_**

Pikario threw his beer bottle away! "You didn't _have_ a TV!"

"Pikario's right... for once..." Chuigi mumbled!

"Besides, if you wanted to watch it so bad, why weren't you here when we came in?"

"Dad's turned into an evil transsexual and he won't let us leave his room until either you're dead, he's dead, his freaky Aipom sex partner is dead, we're all dead, or Shigeru Miyamoto is dead!"

Pikario sweatdropped! "You didn't have to say that last thing! You'll jinx us!"

"And that's not Bowser, it's Bowletta! Bowser may be stupid, but I don't think he's gay," Chuigi chimed in.

"What about Iggy?" Pikario reminded his brother!

Chuigi frowned. "Oh, yeah..."

Wendy waved her arms! "HELLO? You're supposed to fight me now!"

Pikario threw his beer bottle at Wendy. "Shut up, Wendy! We're talking over here!"

"Maybe Bowser's a transsexual!" Chuigi suggested!

"No, that's BOWLETTA!" Pikario reminded Chuigi of what he said earlier!

"He could've been one before she possessed him! Maybe_ that's_ why went after him!"

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"NOTHING makes any sense!"

"Then why does he keep stealing Peach?"

"Because he's trying to confuse us by acting like he's a _gay _homosexual, when, in fact, he's actually a _straight _homosexual!"

"You can't be a straight homosexual, retards!" Wendy butted in, mad that no one was talking to her!

"Nobody asked you, Wendy!" Pikario snapped!

"Yeah! Why don't you go strip, or something?" Chuigi taunted!

"All right, that's it! We're fighting now!" Wendy jumped out of the pipe and flicked Pikario on the nose, therefore, starting a battle!

"Hey, you can't do that! I'm incapacitated!" Chuigi shouted, not able to fight for a certain reason!

Wendy shrugged! "Not my problem!"

**_Battle Mode Start! Oh, crap! Wendy went to JC Penny's and bought a shitload of gaudy and overpriced jewelry to fling at people! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!_**

Wendy waved her arms around! "Now, you shall face your doom!"

Pikario picked his nose! "By what?"

"**MY GAUDY AND UNFASHIONABLE JEWELRY! GAH HA HA HA HA HA!"** Wendy shouted!

Pikario took out another beer! "Whatever..."

_Wendy used Gaudy Jewelry! She threw an earring at Pikario!_

"Now, die!" Wendy demanded in a strange kind clichéd way that most of us probably aren't familiar with, making it ironic and completely irrelevant to this story!

_Pikario used Confusing Logic!_

"How can you do that? You don't even have any ears!" Pikario pointed out!

Wendy sweatdropped, seeing as her attack was countered! "Aw, damn!"

Pikario popped open another beer! "And don't even try using your bracelets, because we all know they're just special lighting effects, like the ones you see at raves!"

Wendy scoffed! "WHAT? How the hell did you know that? Did Ludwig tell you?"

Pikario narrowed his eyes! "When I'm drunk, I know everything..."

_**Battle Mode Completed! Since Pikario knows everything, there's no point in continuing this battle!**_

Wendy groaned. "Great! NOW what?"

"You could become a stripper," Chuigi suggested, finally getting himself out of the pipe.

Wendy massaged her head in aggravation! "No, I can't! I'm not wearing any clothes!"

"That's the point!" Chuigi laughed!

Wendy scowled. "What?"

"Anybody can be a stripper, just as long as you don't commit yourself to adultery!" Chuigi explained.

Wendy perked up. "Really?"

"Why not? Nothing else here makes sense..." Chuigi shrugged.

"True," Pikario nodded, somehow sober again!

"Great! And I can also make enough money to trick Nintendo into making more Mario spin-offs! It's the perfect idea!" Wendy continued on with the senselessness!

_Then, the Evil People from Nintendo appeared!_

"What a great idea! Trying to trick us into making a Mario game out of every damn sport ever known to man!" one evil dude said!

"Like Golf!" Another added!

"And Go-Kart Racing!" Another said!

"And Tennis!"

"And Baseball!"

"And Soccer!"

"And Bowling!"

"Football!"

"Hockey!"

"Volleyball!"

"Basketball!"

"DODGEBALL!"

"Not to mention the other 8,303,282,747,601 Mario Parties we have to do!" some other guy said!

Wendy smiled! "Success!"

"But we'll only do this if you come strip for us!" a guy said!

"Do I get paid?" Wendy asked!

The Evil People nodded! "WITH PROCESSED CHEESE!"

"Count me in!" Wendy agreed!

_And so, they all walked off, happily after ever... and shit._

Chuigi sweatdropped. "I just don't understand it..."

Pikario passed him a beer! "Don't bother; it'll eventually lead to suicide..."

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** Sorry this chapter was so late, but a whole lot of shit came up and I got lazy! Chapter 22 will be up on Saturday, most likely, despite the fact that it hasn't been an entire week yet. Also, except Chapter 6 of **"BOA"** on Saturday (possibly earlier!), Chapter 9 of **"LIUITSV"** on Friday and Chapter 3 of **"PS"** next week, maybe. _


	22. Koopaling Fight 7: Larry and the Human

_**Authoress' Notes:** Sheesh, I'm running out of things to say/talk about, but I DO want to address Mike, one of my Reviewers. First off, my profile is degrading? What does that have to do with the story? It's just there for my own reference and updates so I can keep up with what I've done. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Second, don't think of this as 'bad humor', more like 'stupid humor', which it should be; that's what makes funny (To most people), not to mention the sex-crazed lunatics. Third, I use the exclamation mark a lot because, IMO, it's funny to constantly have the plot screaming at you. I'll try to lighten up on it, but I will continue to do it. Fourth, 'orgasming' isn't a word and you shouldn't be disappointed that everybody likes this story; it's their own opinions, you know. Thank you for the comment on **"BOA"** and trust me, I don't consider this as a flame. (But you could stand to be a little more optimistic) The point of most of my humor stories is to make them as stupid as possible, so people get more laughs out of them, but trust me, I can write a** WHOLE** lot better. Don't judge me on what I write in Humor, judge me on more serious stories and you'll see what I mean.

* * *

_

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 22:** Koopaling Fight #7: Larry and Human-Hungry Oho Jees! The Battle Consisting of Well-Known People!

* * *

_

_OHMUHGAWD! It's finally come down to this! Pikario & Chuigi only have one more Koopaling to fight, then it's all over! ...Well, not really... After that, they have to fight Fawful, the Bowletta, and then her ghost... other shit like that. Either way, it seems that they both have a lot going for them...SELVES!_

Chuigi was sitting around! "Man, we've got absolutely NOTHING going for us..."

Pikario sweatdropped. "Shut up..."

_Just then, the Red and Blue Oho Jees jumped out of Pikario & Chuigi's possessed suitcase for no apparent reason and because I think Wynauts are cute, not to mention the fact these guys deserve another appearance and if I don't do it, then puppies will cry! OH NO!_

Pikario frowned. "What the hell?"

The Red Oho Jee ran off! "I want to play some golf!"

The Blue Oho Jee followed him! "Me, too!"

_So, the two just, like, ran off and stuff!_

Chuigi raised an eyebrow. "Now, what?"

Pikario's eyes went wide. "Oh, crap! Those things were for Peach! She'll kill me if I don't get them back!"

Chuigi scowled. "If those things were meant for Peach, why didn't you give them to her earlier?"

Pikario kicked Chuigi... that's right! Into the lava, yet again! "Don't ask stupid questions! Maybe because I didn't feel like it, OKAY?"

* * *

_**Meanwhile!**_

Bowletta was shocked! **"OH, SHIT! I'M DOWN TO MY LAST KID!"**

"Of the don't you shall forget me, O Great Bowletta thingy!" Fawful reminded her.

Larry bounced up and down. "Yay! I get to fight Pikario now!"

Bowletta grabbed Larry and shook him! "You'd best kill and/or pwn Pikario & Chuigi, or I will personally kill and/or pwn YOU!"

Larry frowned. "My pee pee hurts..."

Fawful sweatdropped. "Huh?"

Bowletta also sweatdropped! "What the hell?"

Larry smiled stupidly. "HA! I'm joking! But that just goes to show you that trying to skin a two-legged boar with your teeth isn't the best idea, especially, if you're standing on top of a middle-aged Mexican man with diabetes!"

Fawful was at a loss for words! "...What?"

Bowletta tossed the confused Larry out the door. "**GET PIKARIO & CHUIGI!"

* * *

**

_**Back with Pikario & Chuigi, who were currently chasing after their escaped Oho Jees that were for Peach for some unexplained reason!**_

Chuigi called out to the Oho Jees. "Hey, Wynaut thingies! If you come with us, we'll give you candy!"

"Or maybe even a Nintendo Revolution!" Pikario added.

"And cheese!"

"And a 15-minute dental plan!"

"A broken cell phone!"

"A rabid squirrel!"

"Shigeru Miyamoto!"

Pikario whacked his brother. "Asshole! You can't give them Shigeru Miyamoto!"

"Like we can give them a Revolution, even if we HAD one?" Chuigi grumbled, rubbing his head.

The Red Oho Jee peaked around a conveniently-placed barrel, as they were in Larry's Room. Convenient! "We want Britney Spears!"

"And maybe Mike Jones!" the Blue one added.

Pikario frowned. "What the hell?"

"We can't give you Mike Jones! What about Satoshi Taiji?" Chuigi shouted.

Pikario kicked him in the stomach! "SHUT UP!"

_Just then, Larry appeared, in a poof of maggot-infested ham...! Wait... EWW! THAT'S SICK!_

"Hi, guys! I've come to play with you!" he greeted.

Pikario sighed. "Oh, great..."

"Aren't you guys dead, YET?" Chuigi groaned.

Larry fiddled with his hands. "Um, I'm kinda the last one..."

Pikario threw his hands up! "THANK GOD!

* * *

_**Meanwhile, in Heaven!**_

Ho-oh waved at Pikario! "Sure, no prob!"

Iggy appeared randomly! "Hey, you guys! Thanks for killing me! Now I can be a zombie and rise from the dead like I've always wanted to!"

* * *

_**WE INTERRUPT THIS IDIOTIC CHAPTER'S BROADCAST TO BRING YOU A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS**_

We here at Chicken Miasma Productions do promote the use Christianity and/or any other religious stuff from that scene. This was just a stupid, inside joke, because Ho-oh is considered to be a very godly Pokemon (only metaphorically).

_**WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THIS CRAZY-ASS CHAPTER ABOUT STUFF

* * *

**_

_**Back on Earth!**_

Larry changed the dumb subject! "Anyway, how about we play Tennis? I've always loved Tennis! I love it so much, that I capitalize it everytime I say it in a sentence! I even have my own Tennis Racket! See? It has spikes and stuff, because my dad said it made me look like a man, even though I'm not one! Did I mention that I love Tennis? I've always loved Tennis! I love it so much, that I capitalize it everytime I say it in a sentence! I even have my own Tennis Racket! See? It has spikes and stuff, because my dad said it made me look like a man, even though I'm not one! Did I mention...?"

"Dude! Shut up!" Pikario growled.

Larry waved his racket around and took out one of the random baby Bob-ombs that Ludwig was trying to swindle over the border! "Okay! Let's play Tennis now!"

Hearing the word "Tennis", the Red Oho jumped out from behind the barrel! "Tennis? More like SOCCER!"

"Or BASEBALL!" the Blue Oho Jee added!

Larry served them the baby Bob-omb! "YAY!"

"**OH NO! I DON'T WANNA DIE! MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES!"** the bomb thingy squealed.

_Fortunately for the Bob-omb thingy, it landed safely in the lava and died a quick and horrible death... Oh, wait! That's bad!

* * *

_

_**Meanwhile, in Heaven!**_

The Bob-omb thingy appeared with a POOF! "Where am I...?"

"You're dead!" Ho-oh announced!

The bomb freaked out! **_"WHAT?"_**

"Aw, don't worry about it; You can turn into a Boo and kill people just for fun!" Ho-oh explained.

"AND you can become a zombie and rise from the dead and terrorize people!" Iggy added.

The baby bomb was happy. "YAY!"

* * *

_**Back on Earth!**_

Pikario looked up at Ho-oh and the baby Bob-omb. "Well, that was weird..."

"I still think tennis sucks!" the Red Oho Jee pointed out.

Larry suddenly got pissed! "WHAT?"

Pikario raised an eyebrow. "Sheesh... Talk about a mood swing..."

"Must be his time of the month..." Chuigi replied, a dumb look on his face.

Pikario shook his head. "That's so stupid, I can't even think of a good reason to hit you..."

"Then we shall fight you to the death to see which is better: Baseball or tennis!" Blue Oho Jee challenged!

_**Battle Mode Start! Look! The Oho Jees are going to fight! YAY...Wait a minute...**_

Larry was mad! **"HOW DARE YOU STOP ME FROM PLAYING TENNIS? YOU SHALL PAY!"**

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Dude, chill..."

Pikario looked around. "So... Are we fighting or what?"

The Red Oho Jee was excited! "Baseball's where it's at, DAWG!"

_Blue Oho Jee used Condoleezza Rice! **JUSTICE WAS SERVED, NOT TO MENTION RICE!**_

Larry smiled. "Ooh, rice! I love rice... Hey, wait! WHERE'S THE BUTTER?"

_Red Oho Jee used the Colonel from KFC! Chicken was served with the rice!_

Chuigi put his arms behind his back. "So... I guess we're not fighting, huh...?

Pikario hit him for, like, the 30,384,849 time! "No shit, Sherlock!"

The Blue Oho Jee smiled, hearing Pikario. "Good idea!"

Chuigi grimaced. "Huh?"

_Blue Oho Jee used** SHERLOCK HOLMES! ALL THE MYSTERY CASES WERE SOLVED!**_

Pikario couldn't help but make a face. "What the hell...?"

"These guys fight even worse than we do... I mean, come on! Sherlock Holmes? You can't do that!" Chuigi complained!

Larry could help but laugh at the chaos. "Wow! This is even funner than Tennis! Dad was right; killing Pikario IS fun!"

"Yeah, too bad I'm over here," Pikario bluntly remarked.

Larry sweatdropped. "Oops?"

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you up!" Red Oho Jee said.

_Red Oho Jee used Bill Gates! **MONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!**_

Larry pointed and laughed. "You're right! That's funny AND unorthodox!"

Blue Oho Jee did something! "What about this?"

_Blue Oho Jee used Michael Jordon! BASKETBALL!_

Larry shrugged. "Eh..."

"Or this?" Red Oho Jee asked.

_Red Oho Jee used Paula Abdul! IT'S AMERICAN IDOL! OH NO!_

Larry laughed. "That show always cracks me up! Okay, my turn!"

_Larry used Veronica Taylor! Oh no! Weird voice-acting from Ash, Misty, and presumably May!_

"Wow, original! I never would've though of that!" the Red Oho said.

"Well, what about this?" Blue Oho Jee laughed.

_Blue Oho Jee used **CHARLES MARTINET! OMGLOLEETZSOOPURMAHREEOHLOLOMFG!**_

"This is getting out of hand..." Chuigi mumbled, becoming extremely bored.

Pikario looked at a clock impatiently. "Yeah! Battles don't usually last this long! Hurry up!"

"Hey, guys! Let's not fight anymore and be friends!" Larry suggested.

"Sure!" Red Oho Jee agreed.

"And we can agree to disagree on the whole Baseball/Tennis issue!" Blue Oho Jee added.

_**Battle Mode Completed! Yay for Love, Peace, and Happiness!**_

"Finally..." Pikario griped.

"So, what are you gonna do now?" Chuigi asked Larry.

Larry looked down. "Um..."

"You wanna go back to the Oho Oasis? We can play Baseball/Tennis and DJ old skool hip-hop on loud speakers that can be heard all the way in Dreamland!" the Blue Oho Jee suggested.

"No, cause I need you to give to Peach, for some unexplained reason!" Pikario reminded them.

The Red Oho Jee gave Pikario an Oho Jee (COUGHWynautCOUGH) Doll! "Take this! Chicks dig dolls!"

Pikario took it! "Sweet! I'll totally score with this!"

"So, how do we get there?" Blue Oho Jee asked.

"We can take Dad's Koopa Cruiser! He never uses it anymore, now that he's a transvestite..." Larry sweatdropped.

"All right! Cool!" Red Oho Jee remarked.

Chuigi grimaced. "What... is... WRONG with you guys?"

Larry, the Red and Blue Oho Jee all answered, "We really don't know!"

_And with they all got into Bowser's Koopa Cruiser that had randomly appeared out of nowhere and flew off, never to be heard from again!_

Pikario squinted. "Um... yeah..."

Chuigi pouted. "Can we go now?"

Pikario smirked stupidly, thrusting Chuigi into the lava yet again! "Sure... **WHY NOT? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA**... Okay, that was stupid... Shut up..."

_Finally! Now that Bowletta's out of stupid kids to kill Pikario & Chuigi with, the only thin left between them is Fawful... Oh this is gonna be good...

* * *

_

_**Authoress' Notes:** ...And so, ends the Koopaling Fights saga! Yay, now we can fight the presumably incorrect Fawful! ...Okay, so all my updates were late! BIG DEAL! At least I'm TRYING to do them! _


	23. Fawful's Super Bad and Fighting and Supe

_**Authoress' Notes:** And then there were 2! Only Fawful and Bowletta are left, then we can call it a day! ...Kinda...

* * *

_

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Chapter 23:** Fawful's Super Bad Fighting and Super Bad Punishment!

* * *

_

_HOORAY! All of Bowser/Bowletta's kids are dead! Now she can finally stop stalling her ass and get it kicked like she was supposed to in the first place!_

Pikario ran like mad towards the Super Big Door Thingy That Leads to Bowletta's Room! "Quick, Chuigi! Before Nintendo thinks up another stupid excuse for us not to fight the last boss again!"

Chuigi trotted along without a care in the world. "Yeah, yeah... I'm coming..."

* * *

_**Meanwhile!**_

Bowletta ran around in circles! **_"OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! THEY'RE COMING! I THOUGHT THEY'D BE DEAD BY NOW! DAMN IT, FAWFUL, WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?"_**

Fawful sweatdropped. "Um..."

She then stopped and looked at him evilly! "Wait a minute..."

The creepy Aipom sweatdropped again! "Of the way that being the 'no' to you! ME against those guys of doom using you are not! Why not kick their asses you do?"

"Because I don't feel like fighting those freaks again! All they do is cheat, lie, fart, and make very bad and sexually disturbing jokes!" Bowletta complained.

Fawful begged to differ. "The thing of what you just said is not an excuse!"

Bowletta chased Fawful out the door! "Who cares? If Nintendo's not going to get off their lazy asses and do something about this, then I'll just have to do it for myself, won't I?"

"I am supposing the so!" Fawful shouted, pathetically running off!

* * *

_**Meanwhile, right outside the Super Big Door Thingy That Leads to Bowletta's Room, over a boiling pit of lava, Pikario was running, with Chuigi skipping along after him!**_

Seeing as Chuigi wasn't in the least worried about anything, Pikario pushed him into the lava! **"DAMN IT! HURRY YOUR ASS UP ALREADY!"**

Chuigi eyed him. "My ASS cannot hurry up if I don't want it to..."

_Then, a big Aipom Robot Thingy came out of the lava!_

Pikario was confused! "Um...?"

Chuigi started to run away! "A DEMON! HE'LL KILL US!"

Pikario flung Chuigi into the lava again! "Asshole, that's a freaking robot!"

_Then, the Aipom Robot Thingy opened up and Fawful came out, dressed up like Michael Jackson! OMG!_

"What the hell?" Pikario frowned.

"Like I said: A DEMON! HE'LL KILL US!" Chuigi proclaimed, trying to run away again.

"Of the sparkling fury I have upon you! Behold in anger shall you asses have at me, because I be the using of my Robo-Aipom head, that has been smartly made after my smart brain to kill all of you!" Fawful proclaimed.

Pikario poked the Robo-Aipom! "This thing looks retarded..."

"He said he made it after himself, so that would explain some things..." Chuigi added, somehow coming back, even though he didn't really run away to begin with! OMG!

"I, being the great Fawful I am will be the killing of you and do you of the knowing why?"

"Because Tuesdays are evil?" Chuigi guessed.

"Because Honey Mustard is cool and it kicks all the other Mustards' ass?" Pikario guessed, knowing it wasn't the right answer, but that it was very true!

"NO!" Fawful shouted. "Because it is of the fact that I shall have a shitload of fury on you both and the dying you will do, because I am the saying so! Bowletta feel not like fighting she, so I do the taking over and stuff! You may have death upon the Koopalings who are very retarded and not smart, but now fight me you must, because don't if you, then shall I spit on you like I on the caricature spit of a kid drawn who is very stupid!"

Pikario looked around. "Are you done?"

Chuigi cleaned out his ears. "I don't even know what's going on anymore..."

"The silence all of you shall have because I am the saying so!" Fawful shouted. "And now, I shall have the battle fighting against you because Nintendo is too lazy to be doing the otherwise!"

Pikario sweatdropped. "I knew it..."

**_Battle Mode Start! OMG! Fawful thinks he's smarter than Michael Jackson!_**

"I shall be starting off now and anything you can't be doing of it!" Fawful shouted, jumping inside his Robo-Aipom thingy!

_Fawful used BIG HEAD! ALBERT EINSTEIN!_

Pikario sweatdropped. "What?"

"HA! That can't work against us because we never went to school, not to mention the fact that we never learned anything!" Chuigi gloated.

"Even an idiot like you should've known that," Pikario added.

"THIS then take, DIPSHITS!" Fawful shouted.

_Fawful used Laser Beam Eyes That Are Really Annoying to Avoid So They 0wnz0rs You!_

Pikario got hit! "SHIT!"

Chuigi got out the way, but he was mad! "You can't do that! It's a legitimate attack! Do you know how unfair that is?"

Fawful jumped out! **"OH CRAPNESS! AH! HOTNESS! HOTNESS!"**

Chuigi was confused. "Huh?"

Pikario thought he was talking about him! "Ew, dude! I always knew you were _queer,_ but DUDE!"

Fawful scowled. "I have not the gayness, but the straightness of the man who is me, bitches!"

Pikario sweatdropped. "But I never said that..."

"Of the assumingness you did, though!" Fawful disagreed.

_Chuigi used **JERSEY MIKE SUB WITH HAM, CHEESE, PICKLES, AND HONEY MUSTARD! YUM!**_

"Damness of the Authoress for liking that of the food she does!" Fawful said!

_Pikario used Stapler That's Next to the Authoress' Computer to staple Fawful! _

Fawful got back in his Aipom-thingy! "The funny that shit is not! You can be giving the lockjaw to someone like that!"

Pikario shrugged. "So?"

_Chuigi used **EVIL PENCIL THE AUTHORESS STOLE FROM SCHOOL**, causing Fawful's big, freaky robot thingy to explode_

"DAMN!" Fawful shouted, dying because the Authoress thinks it's funny that he pwned by a pencil she stole from her evil school!

**_Battle Mode Completed! Wow! What a quick match! Fawful may not be Michael Jackson, but that's probably a good thing! ...That was irrelevant..._**

"CRAP! Of the beating you have against me! Well, then of the fucking I shall do to you!" the Aipom growled.

Pikario shook his head. "That's nasty..."

"Even _I _wouldn't say something stupid like that. I'd probably just kick ass," Chuigi voiced, but nobody cared!

_Then, Peasley appeared on his bean thingy again! He hit Fawful and knocked him into lava, but he came back!_

"AH HA! I return! Bet you thought I was dead, huh?" he asked the Bros.

"Not really; I just thought you got fucked, which is pretty much the same thing," Pikario said, as-a-matter-of-factly!

Peasley frowned. "Oh."

Chuigi gave him a thumbs-up! "Hey, man! Great to see to you again, but what the hell took you so long to get here? We've been busting our asses trying to fight these guys!"

Peasley sweatdropped. "Um... I got lost..."

Pikario sweatdropped yet again! "Wonderful..."

"**FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!"** Fawful screeched! "Little did you know that you've all fallen into my trap! Now, I can finally kill you all and show Bowletta that I am indeed, NOT gay VERY manly!"

"**I NEVER SAID THAT!"** Pikario shouted!

"Dude, did you just NOT speak in an incomplete sentence?" Chuigi asked, bewildered.

Fawful looked shocked! "I did? I'M UNCURSED! The curse the evil language of incompletablity has been lifted! I'm a free man... AIPOM... thing!"

"'Incompletablity' isn't a word..." Chuigi pointed out.

"Um..." Fawful said!

Peasley pulled out a sword! "You shall pay for your evil crimes of improper English, even if you were/are/have been cursed! Die, evil...monkey... THING!"

Fawful twitched! "What? But I'm the good guy now!"

Peasley threw Fawful off of Bowser/Bowletta's evil flying ship thingy! "THAT'S NO EXCUSE!"

* * *

_And so, Fawful died the most horrible death to man, Pokemon, and hardboiled cheese... **937,894,058,363,993 HOURS OF DETENTION WITH BELDAM IN NINTENDO JAIL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOLE-PUNCHERS!

* * *

**_

"And now, you can fight the bastard of all bastards, BOWLETTA!" Peasley announced, starting to leave.

"Then why aren't_ you_ fighting her with us?" Pikario asked, annoyed that the prince was going!

"Because...um... Oh, would you look at the time? I HAVE A MANICURE TO GET TO! Make sure to leave some of Bowletta's ass for me, not like I'd want to eat it, or anything!" Peasley waved, flashing, and then flying away!

Chuigi went to the Super Big Door Thingy That Leads to Bowletta's Room! "Well, I guess we have to fight this bag of shit now..."

Pikario decided to take a nap! "Eh, I'll do it tomorrow..."

Chuigi scowled at him. "I thought you wanted to save the princess so damn much!"

Pikario did you-know-what to his brother! "Well, now... I WANT TO SLEEP! Because, as you probably DON'T know, it's time for a..."

* * *

_CLIFFHANGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!_

_**DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!**_

**

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**

_**Authoress' Notes:** Bleh. Couldn't think of a better way to end this... Anyway, the great fight of confusion and even more weirdness than usual is next Chapter, which will most likely be on Saturday! Hopefully..._


	24. Bowletta is Pwn3d!

_**Authoress' Notes:** Sorry this took so long to get up. I wanted to get **"BOA"** off my mind first. And now that I have, sit back and enjoy the final (official) Chapter of **"P&C"**!

* * *

_

_**Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!**_

_**Chapter 24:** Bowletta is Pwn3d!

* * *

_

_Yes! They've finally done it! They've beaten all the bosses in the game, solved almost all of the puzzles, and even did most of the shit they were supposed to! Now, Pikario & Chuigi can finally fight the final boss and win and crap! W00t W00t!_

Pikario slammed the doors open to Bowletta's room! "Alright! **_Come get some!"_**

"Some what?" Chuigi whispered!

Pikario punched him in the nose! "SHUT UP! You're ruining my dramatic entrance!"

"Ah, so Pikario & Chuigi have finally dragged their sorry asses all the way up here just to be kicked, huh?" Bowletta laughed, sitting in her throne.

"NO! It's like, the other way around and stuff!" Pikario spat.

"Well... let's see what happens when I do... THIS!" Bowletta randomly set the room on fire! **"ARE YA SCARED NOW, LITTLE MAN? _ARE YA? HUH?"_**

Chuigi frowned. "What is **WRONG** with you?"

Pikario rolled his eyes. "She's just trying to scare us! In case you haven't noticed, it's working!"

Bowletta sweatdropped. "Aw, shit! Fine... I guess you want me to fight you now?"

_**Battle Mode Start! YAY, it's Bowletta! ...or is that a bad thing...?**_

"Prepare to die!" Pikario threatened!

"Look, why do you even wanna do this? You already got your damn girl and the WhatStar back! What else do you want?" Bowletta huffed.

"SEX!" Pikario answered!

_Chuigi used MP3 Player! **DOWNLOAD THIS TRACK FOR $999,999,999!**_

Bowletta covered her ears! "ACK! Crappy music! You'll pay for that!"

Pikario mooned her! "Just try it!"

_Bowletta used **FLAMING BALL THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING BUT SIT DOWN!**_

Chuigi raised an eyebrow. "Okay..."

"That sucks!" Pikario shouted!

_Pikario used Nintendo 64! Hooray for outdated graphics and stuff!_

Bowletta fell over! "Damn, that hurt!"

Chuigi looked a little annoyed. "Aren't you gonna attack, or something?"

"I DON'T **WANT **TO!" Bowletta barked.

"Cause you're scared of us!" Pikario taunted!

"No... I just don't feel like it; I'm lazy like that..." Bowletta said.

Chuigi shook his head. "Aren't we all?"

_Bowletta's Flaming Balls restored her energy!_

Pikario snickered. "Flaming balls..."

"Speaking of which, I meant to ask you; are you a transsexual?" Chuigi nonchalantly remembered!

Bowletta was outraged. "WHAT? Did Wendy tell you that, cause it's not true! Just because I wear a Size F cup bra doesn't mean anything!"

Pikario sweatdropped. "I didn't need to know that..."

Chuigi narrowed his eyes. "Where'd you get them from?"

Pikario whacked him! "We're trying to kill her, not find about her life story!"

"It's not my fault they were Bowser's and they inflated when I took him over!" Bowletta complained.

"...Bowser has breasts?" Chuigi asked!

Pikario back away. "...That's not... that's not cool, dude..."

"You guys are starting to piss me off! Time for my ULTIMATE WEAPON!" Bowletta shook her fists!

_Bowletta turned black and used STARZ! OMG! L00k 4t t3h puRdy STARZ!_

Then Kirby appeared out of nowhere! "Hi, guys!"

Pikario twitched. "Not again..."

"I thought you went an expedition around the world with Roy to find the perfect pink color!" Chuigi remembered!

Kirby shrugged. "I did, but Bowletta paid me 395 cookies to come back and do THIS!"

Pikario sweatdropped. "Huh?"

_KABOOM! Kirby randomly turned into Bomb Kirby and threw a bomb! It exploded and knocked out Pikario & Chuigi!_

"AW, damn!" Pikario cussed!

Chuigi laughed! "Well, that was unexpected!"

"**MWAHAHAHAHAHA! THANKS, KIRBY!"** Bowletta paid him the cookies!

"No, prob!" Kirby took the cookies and ran away, not to be heard from again until the Epilogue! HAHA!

"And now to do away with you two!" Bowletta growled.

"Can't we talk this over?" Pikario sweatdropped.

Chuigi pointed at Pikario! **"IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! I'M STILL A VIRGIN!"**

Bowletta sprinkled them with cheese and made them into a sandwich! "DOWN THE HATCH!"

"Oh no! Wait a minute! Don't eat us because I have... um...RABIES! LOOK! Chuigi started foaming at the mouth!

Pikario hit him! **"SHUT UP!"**

_And so, Bowletta ate Pikario & Chuigi and they died and stuff! **THE END! **_

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_Oh, wait... They're still alive? ...Crap, I thought this was over with... Okay, so they're not dead!_

Pikario sat up, for some reason, fully healed. "What the fuck?"

"**OH, MY GOD! WE MUST BE IN HELL! AND THAT'S SATAN!"** Chuigi screamed, pointing at some ghost thing!

"**EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH! I'M A GHOST! COOL, HUH?"** Cackletta's evil ghost thingy said!

Pikario stared in awe! "Oh, now what the hell is that?"

Chuigi shook his head and threw away a beer bottle. "You know... for once in my pathetic little life, I think I've had too many!"

"I'm a ghost and I'm going to eat you!" the creepy ghost thingy said!

Chuigi sweatdropped. "Wait... Didn't you just eat us?"

"And why are you in Bowser's stomach...? What kind of stomach is this?" Pikario asked, very annoyed.

"Maybe we're in his brain!" Chuigi said!

Pikario kicked him! "We can't be in his brain! He doesn't have one! And even if he did, which he doesn't, we still couldn't get in there like THIS! ...Mostly because he doesn't have one..."

"Silence! I'm going to kill you now!" Cackletta said, because the Almighty Authoress is tired of calling her a ghost, since most of you already know that!

"Hey, I thought you didn't want to fight us!" Chuigi pointed out.

"Well, now I'm undead, so I like killing people!" the ghost responded.

"...Man, that's so tacked on..." Pikario shook his head.

"**SHUT UP AND FACE MY DOOM, OH, CRAP I MEANT SAY YOUR DOOM!"** the ghost of t3h ugliness said!

_Cackletta's ghost used HANDS AND ARMS! They went right over Pikario & Chuigi!_

Pikario frowned! "Okay..."

Chuigi jumped on a hand! "Ooh! A roller coaster! SWEET!"

"Get your ass off that thing!" Pkario shouted from down below!

Cackletta shook her arms, causing Chuigi to fall off! **"FOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!"**

_Cackletta used **BIG GHOSTLY MIDDLE FINGERS! Pikario & Chuigi were TOTALLY PWN3D!**_

"Dude! We were totally pwn3d!" Chuigi said, recovering from his fall.

Pikario smiled evilly! "Then we shall pwn _her_!"

_Pikario & Chuigi used middle fingers, making their total 4 and Chuigi even added in his big toe! Cackletta was **WASTED!** _

Cackletta was shocked! "Oh, yeah? Well..."

_Cackletta's ghost used **THE MATRIX THINGY WITH LASERS! SLOOOOOOOOOOOW MOTION!**_

Pikario got hit by one of laser beam thingies! "SHIT!"

Chuigi got hit too! "DAMN!"

Cackletta laughed evilly! "MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN NEVER STOP ME NOW!"

_Pikario used **DIET PEPSI VANILLA THAT THE AUTHORESS IS DRINKING WHILE WRITING THIS! IT DIDN'T WORK!**_

Pikario sweatdropped. "Crap!"

_Chuigi used **AUTHORESS' REALIZATION THAT IT'S 8:45AM WHILE SHE'S TYPING THIS AND SHE'S STAYED UP ALL NIGHT LOOKING AT NASTY PICTURES OF VIVIAN THE SHADOW SIREN BECAUSE SHE WAS BORED! IT DIDN'T WORK!**_

Chuigi also sweatdropped! "What the fuck?"

"Apparently, you guys didn't hear me when I said I'm unbeatable!" Cackletta, um... CACKLED!

Pikario got an idea! "THAT'S IT!"

"What's it?" Chuigi questioned.

_Pikario used the Almighty-Almost-as-Powerful-as-the-Almighty-Authoress-But-Not-Quite Confusing Logic!_

"Earlier, I thought you said, 'MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN NEVER STOP ME NOW!' not that you were unbeatable!" Pikario pointed out!

"But it's the same friggin' thing!" Cackletta complained!

"But you didn't say it as an _exact quote_ and that makes all the difference!" Pikario said, triumphantly!

"Well...! Shit..." Cackletta's ghost thingy EXPLODED! So much in fact, it blew Pikario & Chuigi of out of wherever the hell they were in the first place!

* * *

_**Outside wherever the hell they were in the first place!**_

Bowletta vomited up Pikario & Chuigi! "EWW! YOU GUYS TASTE LIKE POO!"

Chuigi shrugged. "I guess because we think dirty, therefore we taste dirty!"

Pikario punched him the face! **"GOD, DO YOU _EVER _SHUT UP?"**

**_Battle Mode Completed! WHAT? I'm assuming the fight is over, since Bowletta spit them back up!_**

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Bowletta howled, somehow mortally wounded, because she was fine, like, 3 seconds ago! "HOW COULD I BE BEATEN BY SUCH LOSERS?"

"Because you wear a Size F cup bra?" Chuigi asked, taking the humongous brassiere!

Bowletta flipped him off! "STFU N00b!"

_Then, her ghost, like, disappeared from Bowser and stuff!_

Pikario raised an eyebrow. "Okay..."

"Now what?" Chuigi asked, trying on the bra!

_And, Peasley appeared out of nowhere!_

"Aww, there's no Bowletta ass left! Oh, well; at least you killed her!" the Bulbasaur said.

"So, can I go have sex now?" Pikario eagerly asked!

"Sure... **IF YOU CAN GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE TIME BOMB I PLANTED BLOWS YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMGLOLWTF!111!"** Peasley maniacally laughed, flying away!

Pikario & Chuigi ran for their motherfucking lives! "SHIT!"

_RANDOM SCENE CHANGE! Pikario & Chuigi somehow got to the evil Aerodactyl guy, whose name I don't feel like typing because I'm lazy, in time and got the hell outta there! Unfortunately, they left someone behind..._

Bowser woke up and looked around. "...What the fuck? Did I get wasted, or something...? Hey, maybe Peach gave me one of those date rape drugs and had her way with me! SWEET!"

_Then the place started shaking!_

"...Or maybe I'm just stoned..." Bowser hypothesized, not having a clue what was going on!

_BOOM! The bomb exploded and Bowser was blown all the way to Japan, where Shigeru Miyamoto told him he was going to make a "Mario & Luigi 2" because Mario RPGs are cool and bring about crazy-ass stories like this! Bowser agreed and the Evil People of Nintendo got to work! Mwahahahahaha!

* * *

_

**_Back in the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom, after Pikario got his freak on!_**

_Peach, Pikario, Shroomsworth, Queen Where, Lady Luna, and Chuigi, who was very unimportant, were all there to say their goodbyes to each other! HOW SAD!_

"Well, Pikario! I don't know what the hell we gained from this besides 12 pizzas, perverted thoughts on _Paper Mario: TTYD_, and 100 plus hours wasted on the computer, but WHATEVER! EVERYONE'S HAPPY NOW!" Queen Where fanned herself with a fan and I**_ DON'T_** know where she got it from!

"We had lotsa fun!" Peach smiled.

"We did lotsa crap!" Pikario also smiled.

"I pwn3d an Umbreon!" Shroomsworth joined in on the smiling!

"I found out the plot for _Mario & Luigi 2_, but I'm not telling anybody because I want to make you SUFFER!" Lady Luna waved her DS around.

"Wait a minute... Where's Chuigi? He was just here a second ago!" Peach looked around, confused.

Pikario shrugged. "Probably jacking off somewhere. Who cares?"

"Oh my! Peasley's missing too, my queen!" Lady Luna realized!

Queen Where sweatdropped! "Oh... that is_ not_ good..."

"WHATEVER! Let's just go before they get back and bring Nintendo with them!" Pikario got on a randomly appearing pink plane, that was ironically Peach's!

"Hey, Shroomsworth! Don't forget to give me a booty call when you get back!" Lady Luna said.

"Don't worry! I won't forget!" Shroomworth smiled EVILLY!

Pikario yanked him into the plane! "Get your old man ass in here! I wanna go home!"

_And that, my friends, WAS IT! THE END! FINISHED! DONE! OVER! GO HOME! OR AT LEAST GET OFF THE COMPUTER! The plane started up and stuff and everybody went back home to the good, old Shroomish Kingdom, in hopes of probably getting drunk or something!

* * *

_

_**Meanwhile...! Peasley and Chuigi were in a room... ALONE... WITH THEIR GAMECUBE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

"So... whatcha wanna do?" Chuigi asked blatantly!

"I have an idea! Let us induce in that which is called intercourse!" Peasley suggested, because I think he's slightly gay!

Chuigi took his clothes off, which is very ironic because he doesn't wear any! "I was hopping you'd say that!"

_And then STUFF happened! USE YOUR IMAGINATION! But let's just say that Chuigi is still not gay, Peasley probably is gay (and that's cool, lol!), Queen Where is mad at this, even though she never found out about it, and telephones are EVIL!

* * *

_

_**Authoress' Notes:** Well, that's it! Expect the Epilogue up sometime... I'm not gonna say when, since I'm currently working on a new Pikario story... :) _


	25. The Epilogue to End All Epilogues!

_**Authoress' Notes:** Well, this is it! The Epilogue for "P&C" is finally here! I tried to do it for everyone in the story! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

_

**_Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!_**

_**Epilogue: **The Epilogue to End All Epilogues! ...Sorta...

* * *

_

**_So, that was it! Pikario went back home with Peach, Shroomsworth, and a random assortment of Shroomishes that appeared out of nowhere because they were never technically in the story to begin with!_**

_Pikario, of course, went back to living his life normally: You know, getting drunk, killing random bystanders, having sex with Peach, throwing large, harmful objects at Shroomsworth in a random fit of rage, flipping off menaces to society and just about anyone else... the usual stuff._

_Peach went back to living her life normally, too... If you can call this shit normal. She's still just a ditzy Raichu running the Shroomish Kingdom with an iron fist! ...Or a toaster or something..._

_Shroomsworth never did call Lady Luna back for a booty call, mostly because he's on the run from federal accounting... **AND NO ONE STILL KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS!**_

_Bowser was last seen somewhere in Japan with Shigeru Miyamoto and the Evil People from Nintendo, working on the crazy-ass plot for **"Mario & Luigi 2"**, which will eventually be parodied in a strange and unusual way!_

_The Hammer Bros. in the Border House thingy are still there to this very day, waiting for someone stupid enough to fall into their **EVIL JUMP-ROPING TRAP OF DOOM!**_

_Tolstar is now an undead zombie, cursed to haunt the Stardust Fields forever. He's known for stealing pantyhose and taking people's suitcases when they're not looking._

_Hammer and Sledge, finally free from Pikario & Chuigi's constant nagging, decided to move back to their house in Uh-Oh Village for no apparent reason! They are also both very mad at each other, because someone seems to have forgotten to grab their finances and Hammers when they moved!_

_Hoohooros is still on that blasted mountain thingy, just ready and waiting to **TAKE OVER THE WORLD AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE! MWAHAHAHAHA!**_

_Blahblahblahnandon still lives in Uh-Oh Village and cusses at everyone he sees because he thinks it's cool... and it is! **FUCK YEAH!**_

_Remember that Old Bulbasaur guy in the cave? Turns out he was only a figment of Pikario & Chuigi's imaginations! You see, that's what you get for drinking too much and not admitting to it!_

_That town thingy in the middle of the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom is now a barren wasteland that is, ironically, still inhabited, despite the dead Bulbasaurs and Ivysaurs lying around and stuff! No one ever bothered to clean up so that's just the way it is now! **DEAL WITH IT!**_

_The Random Ivysaur Guards and Bulbasaur Assistants all decided to retire after they finally figured out they weren't doing there job of guarding the castle very well, especially since the town was in ruins anyway!_

_Lady Luna considers Shroomsworth dead to her now, since he never gave her his promised booty call like he, um, promised! Instead, she sits around the castle and plays her DS to end! Rumor even has it that she struck a deal with the Evil People of Nintendo to make a new console sometime in 2006, saying it will 'revolutionize' the world!_

_Like her assistants and guards, Queen Where also decided to retire, quoting, "There's no point in being a queen when there is no one to take over the throne and continue my legacy! I might as well die right here and now and no one would a flying shit!" Rumor has it that the Shadow Queen even charged her for copyright infringement because she never asked to be a queen in the first place! Even though she's not really allowed to be a queen anymore, she still has the title and still gets paid to sit on her ass all day and rule the kingdom! Why? Eh... the name was catchy..._

_After orbiting around the world for a few weeks, due to Birdo's Almighty Blast Burn, Popple landed in Little Fungus Town and now works as a manager for the arcade! Although, it's said he's close to being fired since he keeps looting the video game machines!_

_The Red and Blue Oho Jees still live on their little, crazy island in peace... until they kill sanity and take over the world that is..._

_The Fire and Thunder Gods still live there, too... It's a real shame that they were also just a figment of Pikario & Chuigi's imaginations! (Not to mentions the Oho Jees' too, because they hallucinate so often...)_

_The Mom Piranha Pikario threw into the water now pollutes the airport's water supply! Not like anyone cares, since everyone's too lazy to do anything about it..._

_Trunkle was on his way home to ask his nonexistent mom about the equivalent of pie, when tripped over a randomly-placed Puni and died! HA HA!_

_The Cubones, Captain Marowak, and Bloat now live in the tropics, with all the fast-ass Jynxes and Hermie III, since their boat sank and crap! Gigi and Merri saw they were all bored and out of things to do, so they asked them if they wanted to start a business with them! And now, the Cubones' strip club that was on the ship is run by Gigi and Merri, with the captain as the DJ, the Cubones as the assistants, Bloat as the dumbass bodyguard, the fast-ass Jynxes stripping, and Hermie III selling Christmas tress to confused customers!_

_It was rumored that Bubbles decided not to commit suicide after all! He instead, joined up with Boddle in running the Yoshi Theater! They now show movies like, **"My Yoshi, Yoshi"**, **"The Yoshi King"**, **"A Few Good Yoshies"**, "**Dude, Where's My Yoshi?"**, **"The Green Yoshi"**, **"The Yoshikillers"**, **"Are We On Yoshi's Island Yet?"**, **"Yoshi Potter and the Chamber of Eggs"**, **"Dead Yoshi Walking"**, **"Yoshies in the Outfield"**, **"Eggs"**, **"Yoshizilla"**, "**Tongue"**, **"How Yoshi Got His Egg Back"**, and the ever-popular **"Daddy, Daddy, I Think There's a Yoshi in My Pajamas"**! _

_Harhall still runs his/her creepy Splart business and **BUSINESS IS BOOMING!** After becoming a millionaire, s/he decided to leave the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom and now lives in Pussy Heights! Word has it s/he's even been caught cheating with resident Goldbomb on a regularly basis! Goldbomb's wife, Sylvia quotes, "Hey, if that freaky transvestite wants my son of a bitch husband, THEN FINE! I think he's gone off the deep end anyway..." Bub, her son who is the All-Star Player of the regional X-Naut Basketball Championship Playoffs held on Da Moon, quotes, "I like trains!"_

_Jojora and her idiot Jynx bodyguards haven't been seen Sex's End melted... But people say their ghosts haunt the place anyway, making fun of any non-virgin who dares pass it!_

_Birdo finally did find a Yoshi boyfriend at the Yoshi Theater! Good for her and bad for the Yoshi! _

_After being killed by Pikario & Chuigi, Iggy now rises from the dead as undead zombie 4,895,050 times a day! You'd think it'd get a little boring after that, but Iggy still seems to enjoy it!_

_Morton Jr., on the other hand, is still very alive and picks up Squirtle chicks around the world because you can't put down a Blastiose with a cool star tattoo on his eye!_

_Lemmy still works as Pennington's assistant in crime and solving murder cases and stuff! They've never solved a case in their life, yet the money just keeps **ROLLIN' IN!** ...Kinda makes ya think, don't it?_

_Ludwig is still in Nintendo Jail, held for several accounts of smuggling and sexual harassment to children! Beldam's still there too, but she's starting to get used to it and no one cares about her anyway, so..._

_Roy and Kirby are still traveling around the world, looking for the perfect pink color! They haven't found it yet, but Kirby quotes, "I know it's out there somewhere! We've just got to find it, that's all!" In their global expeditions, they've found billions and billions of other sweet pink colors that totally pwn! Roy also quotes, "We'll find that color one day! **BECAUSE T3H PEENK DON'T' SHREENK!"**_

_Wendy is still a stripper in Nintendo Jail and lovin' every minute of it! Ludwig is jealous of this and tries to get her in trouble by saying she used to work with Microsoft, but it usually just backfires and makes things worse for him! _

_Larry and the Red and Blue Oho Jees went back to their demented little island and play Baseball/Tennis all day long while listening to booming Hip-Hop music that's so loud, it can be heard all the way in Dreamland!_

_Cackletta is STILL not dead! Nope! She's just a ghost now, forever haunting the Why What Wheniversity and trying to think of a way to become truly undead and/or possess someone! Whichever comes first, of course!_

_Fawful was sent to Nintendo Jail with Detention from Beldam, charged for being presumably incorrect! But he was released early on good behavior, so he's out now! No one's seen him since, but rumor has it, he lives at the Why What Wheniversity with Cackletta's not-quite-undead-ghost!_

_Peasley and Chuigi have practically disappeared off the face of the earth! No one's seen or heard of them since Pikario went back to the Shroomish Kingdom! Pikario doesn't seem to care (like anyone does?) and Queen Where finally gave up trying to make Peasley straight again! After about 2 months, Chuigi finally came back to the Shroomish Kingdom (as a Pichu, for some unexplained reason!) randomly proclaiming, **"JUST BECAUSE I HAD SEX WITH A GUY DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN CONTRDICT ME! I'M STILL NOT GAY!"** Apparently, Chuigi was thought to have finally lost his virginity after that, but he got it right back because I like watching him suffer! **MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!** ...He and Peasley still meet on some occasions, either through mail, the internet, or... **PERSONALLY...** I'll leave it up you to figure out what that means...

* * *

_

_**THE END!**_

_**...or is it...?

* * *

**_

_**Authoress' Notes:** Yay, that's it! We're all done here! Time to pack up and go home! **"M&L 2: Partners in Time" **comes out sometime in November, so I'll see if I can play through it and get the first chapter up around December or January, depending on when I get it. It's been fun writing this and I hope it'll be the same way when **"P&C 2: Time to Bust Some Heads!" **(tentative tile!) comes around! Oh, and in case you didn't get the Yoshi part, here's what the parodies were:_

"_**My Dog, Skip"**_

"_**The Lion King"**_

"_**A Few Good Men"**_

"_**Dude, Where's My Car?"**_

"_**The Green Mile"**_

"_**The Ladykillers"**_

"_**Are We There Yet?"**_

"_**Harry Potter and the Chamber of the Secrets"**_

"_**Dead Man Walking"**_

"_**Angels in the Outfield"**_

"_**Holes"**_

"_**Godzilla"**_

"_**Jaws"**_

"_**How Stella Got Her Groove Back"**_

_...And I made the last one up, lol._


End file.
